"The Christmas Shoes" = Annoying

Grab the Scavenger Hunt code. Photo Theme. Join the blogroll. Visit participants.

Here are some other things that fit the bill:

People taking your picture when you obviously do not want your picture taken:









Even though I am totally one of those people: I took this picture of Big/OnlyBrother, Thanksgiving 2000. He does not like to be disturbed while eating.
















Pictures that make you look high, even though you are obviously not (only obviously because SisterJ is 7 and I am 10 in these pictures.)















And people who think, just because we're grown-ups, that we're going to sleep in on Christmas. HA!

On the third day of Christmas...

... my neighbors gave to me:

4th emergency evacuation this year!

Woo hoo!

Am defecting (yet again) to my Grandmother's house, due to smells. This time, the neighbor three houses down has decided to repave their driveway. My house reeks of an odd kerosene/gas smell, and, while my room is ok (with the door closed); I can't even get to the bathroom.

Also, Mum's got a doctor's appointment, so I'd be alone in the house, and if the smell crept under my door, I would have no way of escaping. So, off I go, yet again.

Hopefully, the smell will clear out today, because I still have a ton of stuff to do.
(And I kind of need to be here to do it.)

Off I go!

"They're singing deck the halls

but it's not like Christmas at all."

Because we don't have a tree yet, people. I needs me a tree. I need the smell of the tree, the knowing it's in the other room, all lit up and shiny. I need to hear the slight whir of the mechanical kids sliding down their ornament banister, over and over again. I need to know that all of our names are somewhere on that tree, and that Baby Girl's name will be added this year. These are things I need.

It's not that I'm not Christmasy already (cuz, obviously, I am); it's just that I miss the tree. And if it was something I could do myself? You know it would be up already. But I am not the boss of that, and all of Mum's good intentions have fallen through so far this week.

I'm counting on Saturday, though.

Saturday better equal tree, if these Scrooges know what's good for them.

Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas

I may have overestimated how much I could get done in a reasonable amount of time this year. (As if I haven't done it every other year?)

I'm doing pretty well with my family, so far:

The two people whose names I drew are getting thoughtful and pretty excellent presents, if I do say so myself. I only need wrapping paper for them.

Youngest Nephew & Baby Girl were easy to shop for, and I only need one more thing for each of them.

Both of my grandmothers are getting 'homemade' gifts from Snapfish: a calendar for one, a small book for the other.

I've got Christmas Kellys for everyone's stockings, as well as all the free stuff I've collected all year. (This is a great tip, btw: I'm a freebie fiend, and I sign up for them all year long. This year I've gotten everything from trial size shampoos & conditioners, to finger puppets, to chewing gum. I collect it all year, and will be able to contribute to the stockings pretty easily.)

That said, though, with 12 days left, not nearly enough of my list is completed:

Oldest Nephew, who I don't know as well, has yet to produce a list. And SisterJ, who was supposed to get some ideas for us, can remember only that "He wants a toy that starts with A... Maybe Avia? Something?" As you can imagine, this is not very useful.

Blogger Ornament Exchange: Hello, this means you have to buy and ship an ornament ASAP, fruit loop. Yeah, I probably should've thought of that before I signed up, right?

Same goes for the Spoonie Secret Santa exchange, from the But You Don't Look Sick messageboards. Must now by and ship Spoonie presents.

*I really want to participate in these things, by the way. I just have to get over the idea of the 'perfect' present, and do my best for each. I already have some great ideas, from reading my BOE blogger's site & my Spoonie's 'about you' page. It's the getting out there to shop now that it's too late to online shop for these presents thing that's a worry.*

I also still need presents for my best friend/ex-college roommate; SisterC & her boyfriend (who declined being included in the swap, b/c they are difficult & let's not even go there, b/c then I will rant about buying presents for people that I don't really like and how impossible it is); & birthday gifts for Mum, SisterC & her boyfriend, Dad & SisterJ (we're in the middle of my family clump, people; everybody but me and the kids has their birthday between November & February).

So, it's split about 60/40 right now. 60% done, 40% to go. Not too bad, but I'd like it to be better.

How about you guys? What's your ratio lookin like?

We three

Rennifej, over at 100 miles from where, had a meme up the other day, and, as we all know, I like to steal them. (PS, if you spell my real name backwards? The beginning of it is a curse word: so Rennifej has one up on me.)

So, here's the Three Meme

Three things that scare me: losing the people I love, never getting better, being too afraid to do something I should do
Three people who make me laugh: Jon Stewart & Stephen Colbert (who I am counting as 1, because, to me they are like salt & pepper: Don't spilt them up), Dane Cook, Baby Girl
Three things I love: My family, reading, far away friends
Three things I hate: people who won't do the right thing, being late, not standing up to bullies
Three things I don't understand: the Former-Family-people-upstairs-situation, inequality, why change takes so long
Three things on my desk: my pills, piles & piles, a printer in need of a cord
Three things I'm doing right now: talking to you nice people, listening to a movie, wondering about dinner
Three things I want to do before I die: be well, have kids/grandkids, live on my own
Three things I can do: I can make beautiful flowers out of Playdough/Modeling Clay (and I can make the playdough/clay myself too), play a mean game of Trivial Pursuit, & write strong letters for/against vital issues
Three things you should listen to: Your parents & your kids (as much as possible), something that helps you relax
Three things you should never listen to: bullies, smoke alarms, the majority 'just because'
Three things I'd like to learn: what the hell CFS/ME is, and how to cure it; why people don't make the changes that need to be made on important issues like Global Warming or Iraq; how to decorate a cake
Three favorite foods: White Chocolate, melted cheese, and a perfectly ripe piece of fruit (but not together)
Three beverages I drink regularly: water, tea, root beer
Three TV shows I watched as a kid: Only three? How's about Romper Room, Duck Tales, & Special Delivery (random enough?)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

And here, that means parade of the Christmas Kellys.

Did I mention I still live with my parents, and therefore have one, relatively small, room of my own? And how I try to save all my energy right now for vital things: like people, and presents, and cards; rather than decorating?

Hence the parade of the Christmas Kellys. Little dolls are the best I can do, people.


Plus, they're sooo cute, aren't they?






Lest you think I am a grown woman who plays with dolls all day, I must explain how the CK parade came to be: The Christmas Kelly tradition started about 4 years ago, when I saw a Kelly, dressed in her Christmas best, that had one of my sister's names. And she had this look, like my sister gets. And the more I looked around, the more I found Kellys that were like my sisters (One with giraffes, another playing an instrument, etc). So every Christmas, they each get one in their stocking. (And I treat myself to my favorite, too.)

Then, last Christmas, I got a package with 5 of them together. So now, we have the Christmas Kelly Parade.






That's my Monday Confession: my Christmas decorations are dolls.

Hark the Herald Angels sing....

to taking it slow.

I'm definitely NOT multitasking.

Listening to a couple of Christmas tunes that I've downloaded onto my computer (Actual hours of Christmas music downloaded? 30+ So, I'm a big Christmas music fan... wanna make something out of it?)

But what I'm NOT doing is multitasking.

It seems like whenever I have a minute, I feel the need to fill that minute with something that needs to get done, some item I can check off of my neverending list. And that's a problem for anybody. And it's an even worse problem for someone with my health issues.

Ignoring the needs of your body and all those other things I've learned the hard way to pay attention to, is a bad idea for me: well, for anybody.


Downtime is a CFIDS/FM requirement, and I forget that at my own peril.
(real downtime not trying to do three or four different things while you're supposed to be resting)

But December rolls around with all its additional stressors and pressures, (when I've a hard enough time dealing with my everday ones), and I do more than I should.

But tonight, I'm not going to.

I'm just going to lay down, close my eyes and listen to the music.

:ahhh:

Red, (no green)

Grab the Scavenger Hunt code. Photo Theme. Join the blogroll. Visit participants.

Here's me, circa Christmas 1980, in my red outfit, in my Grandmother's red hallway.
My eye happens to be black: no one can remember why, but it was our 2nd Christmas in a row with a black-eyed kid on Santa's lap. Also, I am eating a stuffed Bert. Classy.

(Secret) Santa Baby

I know I've said this already, but, wishing is hard! I mean, I could think of lots of things to wish for other people or things like feeling like a normal person again, for myself, but doable, realistic-type wishes? I repeat: hard!

But... I've got a couple. First: the rules and all that fun stuff: I found out about it through Writing Aspirations. The rules she posted follow:

------------
If you would like to participate as a Secret Santa Blogger, here is what you should do.

1. Tell me via email or comment that you'd like your name on the participant list (or not if you don't want me to list you).

2. Create a post with your "wish list". Tag it "Secret Santa" so it's easier to search.

- If you have items that need to be mailed, be sure to leave a way for a secret santa to send you something. (Either your address or give your address to a friend blogger [yes, you can use me] and then leave a note like: If you want to mail me something - email my friend at "whatever" to request my mailing address - that way it's still a surprise and you aren't sharing your address to the world)

3. Grab a button to use on your site.

4. Put the button in your sidebar and have it link to the post of your wish list.

5. I'll create a post of participants and create a button that will link to a page of those participants.
- send me the link to your wish list or secret santa post so that I can include the link to it on the list of participants.

There you go! This is just for fun. This is completely voluntary and there are NO promises that you'll receive anything. Your wish list can be silly and include things like: "I wish someone would show me the code to align the buttons on my sidebar" or "I wish I had a button of a pretty ornament" to something more serious like "I would like a gift certificate to Borders" or even "I wish someone would get me a car."
---------------



And now... My Wishes:

I wish... people cared more: Pick a charity, any charity; donate. Write your congresspeople. Sign a petition. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. Just DO something! (& if you do, drop me a line, leave me a comment: let me know you care too.)

My most selfish wish? A couple of days in a nice hotel, with big, fluffy pillows, a hot tub and some room service. Because I haven't had a vacation in a really, really long time, and while my ultimate vacation would be one where I could leave my body behind, I know I'm going to have to bring the stupid thing with me. So, a nice rest: a couple of days with a hot tub to soak in, a comfy bed that isn't my own to settle down in, watch some movies, call my friends, eat some cake or something. A nice, cozy wish.

My most unselfish wish? A couple of days/weeks/lifetimes of maid service for Mum. I know just how hard she works, just how much a toll on her health my ill-health has been. To make things easier for her, in whatever way, for however long? It would make my heart happy.

I wish... people would want to share their good news as much as they want to share their bad (myself included). Sometimes it's hard to be positive when you're in my situation, and I don't want to get stuck in the negative. Othertimes, I'm feeling ok with where I am, and then it seems like everybody wants to tell me all about how horribly their day sucked. I'm looking for good news people: it's the season for it, at least.

I guess I'd wish for gift certificates: E-bay or Amazon: the thrill of the hunts would probably be that much better if I could afford to buy something! Or Snapfish credits (because I go through those things like CANDY)!

I wish ... I knew a way to incorporate the 2 tablespoons of flax Seed my doctor reccomends into my diet without wanting to throw-up.

I wish ... you'd tell me the best book you've ever read. Or the book you love the most right now. Or about any book(s) that makes you happy.

I wish ... the world smelled less. Perfumes are bad, people. Think of the number of smells each person wears before they put on their perfume: soaps & lotions; deodorants; shampoos, conditioners, gels, hairpsrays, & mousses; makeup & nail polish; assorted powders, laundry detergents, etc. And then you try to cover all that up by adding yet another smell? As one with a supersensitive nose, let me just say: Please stop. It doesn't work. The world would be a lot dangerous for me (& other, chemically sensitive people) if you skipped the perfume today.

I wish... I knew how to back up my blog without cutting and pasting each & every post (Someone tried to show me in the comments once, but I still don't get it).

I wish... I had some of these. White chocolate, minty goodness.

---------------
There: white chocolate, charity, pillows & positivity; not too shabby.

If you want to play, click the Writing Aspirations link above, and she'll hook you up. (You can also contact her if you were thinking of filling any of my wishes & needed my personal info.)

Play along, guys: I'd love to be able to fill some wishes this Christmas!

Somewhere in my memory...

I meant to have my Wishes up today, but I'm having a hard time coming up with them still. Hopefully, tomorrow. Also, Poetry Thursday isn't on for today, because I haven't found the poem I wanted to post (and I'm too damn stubborn to post something else).

So, for today... How's about this:
-----------------------------------------------


I'm searching for a very specific Night Before Christmas coloring book for my Mum. It is the ultimate Night Before Christmas coloring book, and was the object of many fights during my childhood. The pictures were so delicate & detailed that we colored them with colored pencils, and the youngest siblings were banned from the book until they were old enough to stay in the lines. Somehow, over the years, our copy has disappeared, and every year, my Mum sighs over the fact that we don't have it anymore.

Since I've learned about the joys of E-bay, I've been searching for it, but I don't really have any of the details that E-bay searches require. So I've been slogging through a fair amount of coloring books, looking for this one particular book.

The things the search has turned up are varied and interesting. There's a Santa I find scary, a bunch of books that look interesting (& that I would probably buy if I weren't on a quest), and then ... There's this:




Um... I realize I may just have a sick and twisted mind, but ... there's something 'off' about that picture, isn't there?

He's makin' a list...

Today we went to the Mall for one of my favorite holiday days: the Santa Picture.

Moms all know about the Santa picture, don't they?

I've said it before, I'm not a Mom, just a SuperAuntie. One of my favorite responsibilities as SuperAuntie has been the Santa Picture. We took Oldest Nephew the year he lived with us, and have taken Youngest Nephew every year since he was born, and today we took Baby Girl with us for her very first Santa Picture.

Since we've been doing this for years, we know where the "Good Santa" is, so that's the mall we go to. Oh, don't think that every mall Santa is the same, my friends. There's the cheap "Oh-my-god-he-just-came-from-happy-hour" Santa; the "Ok-but-I'm-pretty-sure-his-suit-is-made-from-polyester" Santa; the "He-is-seriously-THE-Santa-come-straight-down-from-the-North-Pole, and-even-though-I-am-a-grown-up-I'll-just-whisper-my-wishes-in-his-ear-as-we-go-by" Santa, and a whole spectrum of Santas in between.

We're lucky in that a "Great Santa" is at a mall about a half hour from our house. It's not too long a trip, and the mall has relatively good stores. Not that we get to do any shopping on Santa Picture Day. Ha! To any plans that even resemble shopping on Santa Picture Day.

No, no. Santa Picture Day is about WAITING. WAITING.
And did I mention WAITING?

First, you find the entrance to the maze that is the Santa line. You wind through the maze, in a wheelchair, pushing a stroller, and singing so the baby knows you're behind her; keeping your eye on the six-year-old who's two steps ahead of you. You head forward until you bump up against all your fellow queue-ees. Every year, the Santa line is an odd mix of people: Moms in their stirrup pants and stained t-shirts, holding the hands of two three-year-olds in their Christmas best. Another mother, obviously on her lunch hour, frantically peeking at her watch, not even bothering to remove her coat while she cautions the 7 year-old she took out of school not to DARE getting that juice on his vest. A soon-to-be gawky preteen rolling her eyes at her mom, and her brothers, and Santa, and the world.

And the mood of the line varies too: One year, Youngest Nephew made such good friends with the 2-year-old Asian girl in front of us that they posed for pictures together while we waited. (The ones of them hugging always get a "who's this??" when people flip through the family albums.) Another year, we were stuck between a Mama-Nazi ("Don't sit on the floor; don't lean on the ropes; don't stand too close to the wall; don't sit on the bench; don't play with your shoes...) and a baby who spilled her juice all over her outfit: Her mum panicked, asked US to watch her while she ran into a store, so that they wouldn't lose their spot in line. (She rethought it pretty quickly, but damn...)

This year, we did OK: A mother and grandma with two boys (probably 3 & 8) in front of us; three kids (4,8, & 11) and their mom behind us. The three-year-old ahead of us was charming and sweet, and gabbed and played with the baby & Youngest Nephew, me, Mum, anybody who would listen. His brother sat quietly and read a book. The kids behind us mostly kept to themselves.

Our kids were excellently behaved:(She says, fingers crossed, knowing full well that this was a lot of LUCK, as other years have resulted in TOTAL MELTDOWNS in line. Being prepared ... Hello stickers! And binky! And bottle! Also had a lot to do with this year's success.) I brought a little paper and crayons, stickers, so Youngest Nephew could decorate his Xmas List for Santa, which he did between hugs for me & trying not to impale himself on the points of the fence they used to herd us. (I don't understand why they think these wrought iron fences are a good idea for holding a line full of small children, but nobody asked me.) Baby Girl ga-ga-ed for the first 3/4 of the line, then fussed a little for her bottle, and calmly drank it while we moved closer to our goal.

Speaking of 3/4 of the way through the line, did I mention that that is when word started to make it's way backwards to us that Santa was leaving for lunch at 2:00?

And that it was then 1:50, and we'd been waiting in line for 50 minutes?

Now, I bet you can guess just how quickly the mood in our line changed. Oh, yeah. There were some pissed of parents/grandparents/Super Aunties. We were all throwing that, "Can you believe this ??" look to each other, gearing up to fight for our rightful place in line. Grumbles of "Well, if they think I'm leaving after waiting this long..." Or "They should've closed off the line if they knew they were going to lunch...." grew louder as the clock ticked closer to 2:00.

Thankfully, the elves thought better of trying to cross the angry mommies, and Santa stayed long enough to see through the end of the current line. Those were some wise elves.

Youngest Nephew did his personal best with Santa: he introduced himself, talked about his list, smiled big for the pictures. Last year's discomfort and "get me outta here!" seemed to have passed. Baby Girl did ok... She just kind of stared at him for a few minutes, looked at all of us like... "Um..Hello? I don't know this guy!" then tensed up a bit. But she looked at the camera long enough before totally panicking that the picture came out beautifully.

So, although there was 1:15 minute wait, & despite the insane prices for the pictures ($29 for ONE SHEET, people!), & the fact that I'm so sore from sitting I want to curl up in a ball and die, Santa Picture day is still one of my favorite holiday traditions.

Looking at this picture, is there any doubt about why?

And so, I'm offering this simple phrase...

Refinnej, from 100 miles from where, has posted a Holiday Meme. And I think we all know that I can't resist the call of a good meme (meant for me or not).

1. EggNog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate, with Fluff.


2. Does Santa wrap presents, use bags or just sit them under the tree? Oh, I'm a big wrapper. I love wrapping, it's something that gets me in the spirit.


3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? We're a white house.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Not in years, thankfully: I've never had anybody to kiss underneath them, so they were always more annoying to me than anything else.

5. When do you put your decorations up? A little bit at a time, starting after Thanksgiving.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Pumpkin Pie.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Just the feeling; the aura, I guess; of everything Christmassy. It felt like love.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? Oh, once I suspected, I was a total spy: comparing notes with my cousins, all the older kids. But evidence was sparse, and I really wanted him to be true. Until, one Christmas Eve. Our family's tradition was that the whole family would meet at our house, head to the Children's Christmas Eve Mass, to come home and find that Santa had left us a little preview of our gifts. A letter and a small present each. That year, I was probably 11, Former Aunt had apparently been in charge of our letter from Santa. Doofus that she was(is), she wrote a PRACTICE letter first, using my notebook. AND LEFT IT THERE! Proof was secured, and that was the end of that. (Although Santa, as a symbol of the season? I totally still believe!)

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Every year

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Sentimentally, mostly. My sister & I are the only ones at home with Mum & Dad this year though, so maybe we'll try something new.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I agree, this is a both. I love it because I don't have to shovel it or go out in it. But I hate it b/c Mum hates it, and if we do have to get someplace, she's a nervous driver in snow.

12. Can you ice skate? Used to was, I could...


13. Do you remember your favorite gift? As a child, it was a dollhouse, homemade, just for me. As an adult? It was one I gave, to Mum, a Kincade nativity set. The pieces kept coming for a year, but she was so happy with it; each time they came it made her smile.

14. What's the most important thing about the holiday to you? My family, the spirit, the togetherness (which, in my family, does not exclude fighting, screaming or adult tantrums, unfortunately)


15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Punkin Pie.


16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Taking the kiddos for there Santa pictures


17. What tops your tree? An angel, usually

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Giving. But also opening (that slow, lifting-each-piece-of-tape-separately kind of opening that so torments my siblings).

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Oh Holy Night


20. Candy Canes or Chocolate Covered Cherries? Candy Canes. Cherries are ick.

21. Favorite Christmas movie: Nostalgia-wise, I've got The Muppet's Christmas Carol, The Claymation Christmas, & Garfield's Christmas Special. Newer, I've got Elf and the Polar Express. Of all time, it's probably a tie between It's a Wonderful Life & Christmas Vacation.
So. I'm kind of strange... As if you didn't know that by now.


And because I'm my own kind of person, I'm going to add one:

22. What makes this Christmas different &/or special for you? Well, we've got Baby Girl's 1st Christmas, and that's pretty special. Also, my family's more spread out this year: they've got soon-to-be in-laws to visit with, houses/apartments of their own to decorate: We're spreading out, and that'll be an adjustment on all of us.

As usual, I tag anybody who wants to play. (And anybody who's reading: I know you're out there, come say HI!)

doing my christmas shopping...

a little late this year.

Did You Know...

...That there's a group called "Dayglo Abortions"? And

...That their name somehow comes up when you search for Ave Maria?



...That you can put your breakfast (a biscuit) in your robe pocket, and then completely forget that you put it there?


.... That it was yesterday's breakfast?

And that concludes today's public service announcements.

Strings of street lights, even stop lights...

(Yes, I have decided to name my posts with lines from Christmas Carols... wanna make something of it?)

Now, on to the HUNT:

Grab the Scavenger Hunt code. Photo Theme. Join the blogroll. Visit participants.

Light is today's theme, and it kind of stumped me for a while there. But then I thought about all the ways that light can influence a picture.

Too much light, for example, and you wind up with these:















Too little light?



And, sometimes, you wind up with an odd & seemingly impossible mixture of both:


But then there's the times that light makes your picture:








I can't wait to see what you've all done... Happy Saturday!

Today is Perfect Post day

Now, on with the festivities:

My November Perfect Post award goes to:

Halloweenlover, who had a scare earlier this month, and her post about her partner's loving attention during her thankfully brief, yet frightening stay is a

Must Read

-----------------------------------------------


Lifenut had a beautiful post about what she's grateful for this year.

Biting Beaver's post about being a radical feminist blogger was compelling and powerful.

There's a Teddy Bear drive going on over at OhMyGodYall. Today, their up to seven; we can do better!

NaBloPoMonth has introduced me to a number of excellent blogs this month. (The randomizer was a huuuge help in finding them, btw.)

Writing Aspirations had a useful post about what NOT to post. She's the reason I'm not apologizing about what I post anymore: if I'm sorry to say it, why am I saying it?

The setup, template, and writing on Open Book, found here, are all amazing and inspiring.

Rebecca the bookseller is one of my favorite Lipstick Chronicles contributors. Here she talks about doc talk... oh, the memories. (Yes, I have asked doctors that if "we" were getting the procedure, then how come I'm the only one in a paper nightgown?)

And, lastly, some other authors were busy making 6 word stories . My favorites?

Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon

It cost too much, staying human.
- Bruce Sterling

The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card

Woo Hoo!

Well, we made it ~ November ends today, as does NaBloPoMo. And I posted every single day: I am surprisingly pleased with myself. I thought it would be too much pressure, particularly if I wasn't feeling well. But having meme's bookmarked for such occasions was a big help. I don't know that I wrote anything spectacular during the month, but I did write. So, Yippee!

It's also Poetry Thursday, and today's treat is

William

by Mary Oliver

Now there's William. He comes pecking,
like a bird at my heart. His eyebrows
are like feathers of a wren. His
ears are little seashells.

I would keep him always in my mind's eye.

Soon enough he'll be tall, walking and
conversing; he'll have ideas and a
capricious will; the passions will
unfold in him, like greased wheels. And
he will leap forward upon them.

Who knows, maybe he'll be an athlete,
quick and luminous; or a musician, bent
like a long-legged pin over the piano's
open wing; or maybe he will stand day
after day over a draftsman's desk,
making something exquisite and useful -
a tower or a bridge.

Whatever he does, he'll want the world
to do it in. Maybe, who knows, he'll want
this very room which, only for convenience,
I realize, I've been calling mine.
I feel myself begin to wilt, like an old
flower, weak in the stem.

But he is irresistible! Whatever he wants of
mine - my room, my ideas, my glass of milk,
my socks and shirts, my place in line, my
portion, my world - he may have it.


Hmm... Isn't it lovely?

I first came across this poem when Youngest Nephew was very small - maybe 2 years old - and it felt so right to me. It expressed so much of what I feel for him, so perfectly.

He is irresistible: no matter how badly I am feeling - even in those years where I could do little more than roll over to one side on my bed, having him near me gave me comfort. Gave my joy and peace and a sense of belonging to this world. No matter how I "wilt" (and I am a CHAMPION wilter, as we all know), being with him, watching him grow and learn, and knowing I have a part in that has been a salvation to me.

And now there's little girl, Only Niece, da peanut. And, like the Grinch, I find that my heart wasn't really as big as it could have been, because, surely, it has grown tenfold to accommodate my love for her.

If either of them ever needed something from me, as the poem suggests, it wouldn't matter what it is: I would give it freely. My heart, my "place in line:" anything.

And Oldest Nephew is not exempt from this overwhelming love, either. Though he is further away, and I have not had such a hand in his day-to-day care, I still love him; there is still a place in my heart for him.

Oh, and do I wonder what will become of them: strong, shy, stubborn, sweet; loving, listening, loud, little people that they are. What will their passions be? What cause will they rally behind, what will own their hearts? There's so much they could choose for themselves, and I want them to have it all.

I often feel badly that I have not accomplished as much in my life as I would like: not having a family of my own, children of my own, is a spot so tender it aches. And yet, my love for these kids, my brother's children, my sister's son: I can't imagine loving someone more than I love them. These are my "little birds," just as much as any others: they peck away more and more each day.

I swear to god, I blogged today

and it shows up here as posted, but not when I try to load my page. So, lemme try again (Bad Blogger! BAD! NTE cannot screw this up now!)

Oh no you didn't!

Almost forget to post... on the next to last day of the whole thing! Dope.

I'm watching The Daily Show and drooling over George Clooney and Jon Stewart.

Yum.

My DSL is not cooperating at all today, and I am so oooo not pushing my luck.

A quick hello, and an even quicker goodbye, I'm afraid.

See you in the morning! Try to have drool-worthy dreams!

A bit of random-osity

Something awesome - Youngest Sister scored an 800 (A perfect score!!) on her SAT II, English Literature test! I happy danced, vicariously, of course, along with her. It's awesome for her, as her current top choices for schools are mainly Ivy League. More adventures in applying for college will no doubt follow. (Remember how much fun it was? Ick.)



-----

Something I probably should've noticed before now - is that the captions for the local news CAPITALIZES certain words. Not only that, but I've figured out why, too: they're the teleprompter words, and the CAPITALS are telling the anchors which words to punch. I figured it out last night, following this: "A mother of ELEVEN is killed in a hit and run accident." Now, I have a problem with the news in general: I don't watch it because I seem to lack that filter that other people have, where they can see something horrific and not feel it, strongly and deep in their soul. I know this about myself: watching the news is too upsetting, so I watch The Daily Show and pretend it counts. But, even knowing that I am overly sensitive, this little teaser seemed vulgar, somehow... and just... WRONG.
-----


Something that is totally unnecessary:
A doggie diaper?

-----

Something I should probably just get over, already - So, remember the eye doctor?

Well, my glasses came in, & guess what?

They were a bit too small.

But, since I.Am.Not.Going.Back.There.Ever.Again.Period., I kind of just got used to them.

But I've been wearing them for about three weeks now, and not a single person has noticed. I mean, it's not like I've got a new pair of shoelaces or something - they're on my face! And the shape/color is radically different!

But nobody's noticed at all, and I'm a little stung ~ it makes me feel even more invisible, I guess.

-----

Something positive to end this on - If you're looking for some quirky holiday presents, may I suggest The Spoon Sisters? I found it today, and spent a little bit too much time (and $) there. But it was soo much fun to do it. :)


What things are on your minds, people?

Ugh

I'm a bit - off, today. I should be happy because

- I got some things accomplished today (Two more Christmas presents, done! 6 scrapbook pages finished yesterday/6 to go! Yay, yay, yay!)

- It was a quiet house day, and I know they're going to be more scarce, now that the holidays are starting to amp up.

- There's good TV shows on tonight ( Studio 60! Heroes!), and they're new episodes.


But I'm not happy. I'm moody, almost pissy. I hate this mood, because there's no real reason for it, and yet, here it is.

The minor things I'm upset about include

- doing favors for people who don't appreciate it
- spelling something wrong and wasting a bunch of time & effort




- But really, those are just excuses. My mood is all about sick family members; These are minor illnesses, colds, coughs, stomach problems, & that's part of the problem: why can't you just GO to the doctor already? When there is something relatively minor wrong with the people I love, things that I know they can do something about, it really pisses me off. It's like they're not taking advantage of their good health (and extreme good fortune in having that good health), and .... I find myself lacking any sort of patience for or kindness towards them.

So UGH. If the doctor recommends you see an ENT b/c you keep having sinus infections (which run in our family, btw), then DO IT! If you're still coughing after a month of being sick, call the doctor back, doofus!

So, here I am: patience limited and nervy. And I hate feeling like this. I'd like to yell at them. I'd like to just shout at them, but it would not be well received, I assure you.

And this itchy, 'leave-me-alone-because-you-are-too-lazy-to-help-yourself-" attitude is in danger of boiling over into things that I should be more sympathetic of:

Sister J is suffering from depression - not a minor illness by any means. She's been doing a bit better lately, but her meds aren't exactly helping as much as they should be. And she hasn't gone to the therapist like her doctor wants her to. Because ... she doesn't have the time to find one that she would like. Um... yes you do. Get the meds changed, get a good doctor, and you'll see just how much more time you have.

See? I just have reached a limit, I guess. I'm full to the brim of people who CAN help themselves, but don't. And their complaining & whining. (Which is exactly what I am doing here, but let's pretend it isn't.)

And all that - even just thinking all of that, makes me a royal bitch, I suppose.

So, I'll say it all here, in the hopes that getting it out of my head will help it get better. Cause I don't especially like being a bitch.

Hello, again.

Oh, look: It's tomorrow already! Yippee for CFIDS insomnia; helping NTE stick to her NaBloMo goals for 25 days running!

Anyways...

I was wandering around other sites today, and it occurred to me that I like it when there is an easy way to identify who the heck the blogger is talking about. I get the DHs or things like that, but the cutesy nicknames sometimes throw me for a loop. Unless there's a little notation, say, in the sidebar, explaining things for me.

Which made me think: "Why don't you have one of those, NTE?"

Because... I haven't gotten around to it yet.

But, lookie here: I've got a little time on my hands right now. Perhaps I will give you the basics.

Before I start, let me just say this: all my life, other people have had a hard time understanding my peculiarly twisting branch of the family tree. And I'm talking people who've known me for years, and who have actually met my family. "Which one is that again?" is not an uncommon question. However, I don't think it's confusing at all. There's some steps- and halfs-, a couple of divorces and second marriages (and second divorces). It sounds pretty normal, if you ask me. This is all leading up to this ---> I don't find it confusing, and therefore, might not explain it as well as you need it to be explained. If you've got a question, just holler, mmkay?


So. We start with my parents, who got married very young.

And, by very young, I mean 15. Seriously. My mother was pregnant with Oldest/Only Brother at the time, just in case you were wondering.

1976 - Parents marry, O/O Brother is born.

I come along next, halfway thru 1979, shortly after my mother's 18th birthday. My father and Mum decide they can no longer be married (which, all agree, is probably the very best decision ever), and divorce before my first birthday.

Somewhere in the 80-81 period, Mum meets Dad, who is divorced himself. He also has one daughter, Oldest Sister, who was also born in 1976. Oldest Sister, for the most part, lives with her mother (who really has no role in this whole thing, besides providing lodgings, as far as we are concerned), but that's right down the street, so we're together a lot.

Quick recap: Mum, Dad, O/O Brother, Oldest Sister/SisterS (both 3 years older than me), & Me


Moving along, we get to 83, when SisterJ makes her first appearance, Mum & Dad's first biological kid together, and (technically), my half-sister. But I don't like those halfs and steps; they're all my sisters. I'm just putting it here so you can see how it's working.

3 years later, SisterM comes along, also Mum & Dad's kid.

And two years after that, in 1988, from out of nowhere, my father has a little girl with his 2nd wife, and now there's Youngest Sister/SisterK.

Youngest Sister's parents split up almost immediately, and she & our father move back in with his parents, right down the road.

So, now we're all in one city: SisterS and her mom up one street, Youngest Sister and our father down another. And in our house, O/O brother, Me, SisterJ, SisterM, (all three of us in one room while O/O brother had his own... which I really should get over already, but that's a bit OT), Mum & Dad. One Grandmother (Mum's Mum, Nana), upstairs; the other, my father's mother, Grandmother, with Youngest Sister and our father.

This is just my immediate family, people. My Mum was one of 4; my father one of 9. You better believe there's a bevy of uncles and aunts and cousins unaccounted for here.

Besides, then it gets better: Fast forward a bit, and we're in 1996.

Oldest Sister/SisterS gets pregnant at 20, decides to move in with us. Now there's Oldest Nephew and SisterS in our house too. They don't stay here too long, eventually, they go back up with her mother.

Then in 2000, Youngest Nephew makes his debut: my O/O Brother & Soon-To-Be-Sister-In-Law have their little boy. A couple of years pass, and instead of planning O/OB & STBSIL's wedding, we're suddenly planning for our latest addition, Youngest/Only Niece. She is born in May of 2006, to much joy and celebration.

And that's us. It seems clear enough to me, but you don't have to worry about it: there won't be a pop quiz or anything.

Although I'd love to know how I'm going to squish this into a sidebar...

Saturday Photo Hunt

Grab the Scavenger Hunt code. Photo Theme. Join the blogroll. Visit participants.

It's that time again. And today's theme happens to be "time;"

Here's some pictures from Youngest Sister's visit to Yale. Not only does Yale have those timeless sort of buildings, but the idea that my Youngest Sister is getting ready to apply to colleges is a sure sign of time passing.

Hello

and welcome to, Which is misbehaving more, Blogger or my Computer?

Otherwise known as, another lame post.

I did a little online shopping today, but I wouldn't have gone near a mall for just about any amount of savings. I don't shop well in crowds: it's kind of hard to get people to notice you when the store is quiet, but in a crowd? When your head is waist (or ass) level with everyone else? No, thank you.

During the course of my online shopping, my AOL would just randomly shut down. "Your service has been interrupted," the little pop-up window informed me. Yes, I am aware, since I had a shopping cart full of things and was just about to enter my credit card information, I am VERY aware that my service has been interrupted. And there's no reason that I can see for the interruptions in service: my network hasn't been down at all, I ran a computer check up and spyware program, & I restarted the computer, just in case; who knows why.

It has been a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong and exhausting week for me. Also, challenging. But, I've been noticing that I complain a lot, in these posts, & I'm trying hard to change that around. So, a list of some of the highlights (real highlights, not the sarcastic ones I first put here and then erased) from this week are:

• Gravy. GRAVY is not even a food, really. But I think I might actually drink it, if it wouldn't gross other people out.
  

• Because of the evacuation, I got to spend some serious one-on-one time with my grandmother, which I love. Her life has been rich and full, and everytime I think I've heard all of the stories & won't ever be surprised again, she pulls something else out of her treasure chest and shares it with me. I feel so special, when I have my grandmother's ear all to myself.

• Finishing some things. I finished two projects this week, and just have to mail them off to the people they are for. That there are other, unfinished things that still need to get done is not today's worry.

• Speaking of worry - that this year's Thanksgiving passed without any trips to the ER; for anybody. Last year, my grandmother keeled over as we were cleaning off the table, and we had to call an ambulance. As she was leaving, my brother turned to me and said: "I think that's the last time we'll ever see her." I don't have words for how grateful I am that that prediction was unfufilled.

• Baby Girl is babbling. Youngest Nephew was his old self for the majority of the day today. "My" kids are all that is shining & golden, today.

• Tomorrow I will get a long overdue scalding shower, and then ... nothing. I am giving myself the day off. Other people get vacations, and while I know I just don't, I'm giving myself tomorrow as a present. To just be. Or read, or listen to the radio. Or to do nothing at all. No pressure.

• I can now listen to Christmas music without feeling like it is 'too soon.' It isn't, and I love Christmas music, so, I'm ready.

There we have it ~ maybe my week wasn't too horrible after all.

Gratitude Attitude

Happy Turkey Day, everybody!

I'm back home again, jiggity jog: the smell of turkey and baking and veggies has overwhelmed the leftover tar smell (at least inside the house).



So here I am: happy and home.

I hope you are all in a similar state, this Thanksgiving.





(I'm going to try to post Poetry Thursday a little bit later, but I'm also not going to worry about it. I'm taking three percocets and trying to enjoy my day.)


I'm thankful for you, readers, who are so kind and caring. I really, truly appreciate it.

Gobble gobble! (I hate it when ppl do that, don't you?)

Due to emergency evacuation...

this post comes to you directly from my Grandmother's house, courtesy of Youngest Sister's laptop. (And since my family does not know about my blog, I am finding it difficult to get three minutes of typing in before someone comes to look over my shoulder (again).)

But --- I'm here! I haven't missed it after all (thanks, Scrooge; I'm almost in a Christmasy mood.. Just give me another day or so.) ~ there's still time.

Today's planned post was going to be about changing times, and changing family dynamics.

But I've only got a few minutes until someone comes to claim her computer back, and also my brain & body are not really dealing with the changes in scenery as well as one might wish.

So, no on the big long post, and yes to the rant about city workers who don't keep their promises.


Remember how I told you that they were unpaving and then repaving my street? And, how, the smell was so bad that I had to hide in one corner of the house with the windows clossed for three days? And how they said that the repaving was postponed until the spring, b/c of city screw-ups? And also how they promised to call us when they decided to start the repaving, because we called to complain about the smell?

Yeah, well, guess what?

They repaved today. The day before Thanksgiving. Hence the evacuation.

Hence the making worse of a flare from daring to get out of the house at all this weekend.

Hence the RANTing attitude, when I told myself I would not rant.

Hence me feeling bad for readers, who don't really want me to keep talking about my flares and evacuations.

Trust me, I'd love not to have them to write about.

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT..

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade will be on the tv in less than 12 hours, and then I will be psyched. So, I'll see you all then.

Happy Turkey day!

Way to forget...

almost! It's still today. It's just later than I normally post, but I'm still good.

Sinus pressure, my pretties. Sinus pressure headache + flare + family holiday craziness = NTE icky.

BUT, I am kind of happy I have set myself up for this, the responsibility of posting every day. It makes me think I'm accomplishing something, even on the very bad days.


And today what I am accomplishing is a meme (cuz we can't have everything, now can we?)


Seven Secrets
I have no idea where I clipped this from; it was in my 'tickler/to blog' folder. So if it was from you, sorry not to link. If it wasn't, feel free to play.

1. your deadliest sin (pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed or sloth)? I think... it's probably pride, which keeps me from asking for things I need.

2. tell us a secret. Does it have to be one of mine? Cuz I am boring. So, I'll tell you someone else's secret, which is that they're late because they just don't care enough about you to be on time (seriously, I know this person, and I didn't mean you).

3. why are you ashamed? Because I can never do enough

4. what is your secret fantasy (keep it g-rated, ok?)? Chubby baby faces, and knowing they're mine.


5. greatest guilty pleasure. White chocolate (which, is apparently, not chocolate & therefore has no nutritionally redemptive value, but I LOVE IT!)

6. secret behavior. Eating cold food from the fridge (secret only b/c nobody in my house likes that & I'd rather not hear about how cross it is)


7. to where would you escape? Some place with a jacuzzi.

The movie was a hit... and I feel like I got hit by a bus.

So, while I'm layinig waaaaaaaay flat for a while today, I'm going to give you a little game to play (and if you want to share, please feel free to leave your link in the comments).

*Note: I hope that this is the home page, rather than my game, I can't tell b/c it shows up as my game on this computer. But I think it'll be right on yours*

Funny Farm

Hopeful...

despite some small glitches. The lot of us (15 plus baby girl), are heading out in about an hour, to make our seperate ways to the theater. A few things have come up:


The theater, which, as I said, has a full restaurant, does not, contrary to what their website says, take reservations. So, it's first come, first serve. And they suggest you show up 1-1.5 hours ahead of time, particularly on weekends. And it's at least a half an hour drive, so that's 2 extra hours of time that I'm going to be up and about. And then 2 hours for the movie. My usual 'good' time limit is about an hour and a half anyways, so I'm reaaaaally pushing it.


But, I don't care.

And do you know why? Because everybody (who lives close enough to go) is going.

Do you know how hard it is to get the members of my family together? Very hard: this one's working 8-2; the others are working 2-8. This one's got previous plans; that one wants to do the laundry. That one wants to go, but only if we can take seperate cars; this one doesn't want to drive on her own. And on and on and on. Not to mention the whole "NTE has to break the plans (yet again) because of another infection/she fell down/ ER visit/ flare" debacles, or the plans they all make that I know I just can't go to.

So, we're going. And if we don't get in, or I have to pay for pushing my limits a bit, c'est la vie, right? (At least, C'est la CFID- vie.)

I've got my proactive patches, pills and ear plugs. I'm bringing a pillow for my knees (so what if ppl look at me like I'm crazy?), and wearing layers so that as the patches heat up, I can strip without scandalizing anybody (It's a family movie, after all).

And I'm posting now, so that it's not hanging over my head for when I get back, just in cases.

Cross your fingers people!

Plush...

Grab the Scavenger Hunt code. Photo Theme. Join the blogroll. Visit participants.

Today's Theme is Plush.

Here's what I've got for you:





Mother and Son: Oldest Sister (in 1978) and Oldest Nephew (in 2000), surrounded by some of their friends.

I'll be stopping by my PH friends later on today; Happy Saturday, All!

Guess What?

I'm going to the movies on Sunday!

This might seem unremarkable to you, but I haven't been to the movies in 5 years! I swear. The last movie I saw in the theater was the first Harry Potter movie, for Youngest Sister's 13th birthday.

The movies aren't usually on my list of priorities at all, to be honest. Very rarely do I mind waiting till something comes out on video (The LOTR trilogy was a big one!), or even on cable. In the pro/con tally, movies are heavily con.

There's the seating: the fact that I can't sit up long enough for a movie to begin with, added to uncomfortable & unforgiving chairs that invite flares. The chairs usually manage to hit every.single.tenderpoint in my body.


There's the noise level; my hearing, like my sight and smell is highly sensitive, and I don't understand why the movie has to be that loud in the first place. Then there's all the normal things I have to worry about when I go anywhere: smells, energy level, etc.

So, usually, not going to the movies is no big deal. But the beginning of this year I was looking at movie trailers (I don't know why I torture myself that way, but I do), and saw the a little penguin tap dancing. His little feet, the Stevie Wonder soundtrack? It was irresistible. And I was kind of pissed, b/c I knew my family would go and see it, and then they'd all have seen it before me. As usual.

And there isn't a one of 'em who can keep their mouth shut.

So, I was kind of sad that I wouldn't get to see it, and then I was watching a local show last night, The Phantom Gourmet, (which I love b/c they talk about food that people really eat, like Dunkin Donuts and Lays Potato chips), and they started talking about a place not too far away called Chunkies. I wasn't really paying attention, but when I looked up at the screen, I saw that they were sitting in big comfy chairs.

So I found their website online, and apparently, the chairs are chairs from limos. They recline, roll and have an armrest. Not too mention that they are grouped around tables!

This might work for me! I have sat in the car for longer than 2 hours, without too much of a flare afterwards. And, if I use my wheelchair as a foot rest, that should help with the hip, knee, leg pain. I've got the trusty IcyHot patches, as well as the ThermaCare for my neck. And the lidocaine patches for my back's worst points.

So I told my sister that I wanted to go, and coralled my brother and his family, my parents, and two other sisters into going too. It's a big HOOPLA! And this time, I get to play too.

(I refuse to worry about the following facts:
- Noise, smells, energy levels
- Thanksgiving is next Thursday and I will need to rest before/recuperate from that
- I have yet to finish Oldest Sister's scrapbook for her birthday on the 30th
- or a few other projects that have to be done by Christmas
- not to mention christmas shooping, cards, wrapping, etc.
- that this is probably the worst time for a hoopla! for me

Because... I am going! So there!)


Besides, I need to get out of the house, do something fun, or I might shoot someone.
(Did I mention my dad's on vacation? Or that my brother is not communicating well? Or that some other siblings are squabbling?)

So, I'm going to the movies!

Poetry Thursday

And I cannot thing of a better poem than this one. Check out

Spellbound

by Emily Bronte:

The night is darkening round me,
The wild winds coldly blow;
But a tyrant spell has bound me
And I cannot, cannot go.

The giant trees are bending
Their bare boughs weighted with snow.
And the storm is fast descending,
And yet I cannot go.

Clouds beyond clouds above me,
Wastes beyond wastes below;
But nothing drear can move me;
I will not, cannot go.

-------------------------------
We've got no snow here yet, and it is, in fact in the high 50's (unheard of for a week before Thanksgiving). To me, this poem is not really about the weather. This poem is about me. (But then again, isn't everything?)


It's about me & this stupid sickness that I have to battle all the time:Could there be any better word than "tyrant" for this thing that keeps stealing & controlling my life?

My whole self is "weighted" down with something, and it doesn't really matter how bad things get, I'm stuck, spellbound. A "storm is fast descending," in the form of yet another family fight or, alternatively, a 6-year-old's birthday party? Don't think that changes things. Clouds are piling up; clouds of anger or fear or defeat? The spell doesn't care. Winds are whipping around me - people's voices filled with doubt, my own voice just still not understanding WHY - it doesn't matter.

I will not, cannot go.

It isn't a choice. There's nothing I can say to reverse the spell, nothing I have done that's been able to break it; and, perhaps most importantly right now, nothing I could have done to prevent it.

Will not, cannot: It's just that simple and just that complicated.

My best suggestions for online shopping

A few of my family members, who've never shopped online before, were looking for some pointers about how to get the most out of their Christmas shopping. I came up with a few tips, and figured I'd share them here too:

1) Never JUST shop. This means, don't just go to the store and buy something through them. Use a referral program. There are 2 types of referral programs: charity (yay!) and selfish (also, yay, but it's the season of GIVING, people!). I use two main referral programs, and have just signed up for a third. All three are easy to use, and have great benefits.

For charities, I use IGIVE:
Change Online Shopping for Good -
You sign up with your e-mail addy, and then pick a cause (I shop for the CFIDS association of America). And a percentage of your purchase - depending on the merchant - goes to the charity.

For Myself, I've always used MyPoints:
My Points
With MyPoints, they send you e-mails to earn points, and you earn a specific # of points per dollar at each store. And then your points add up and you can trade them in for gift certificates to retailers. And the vicious cycle continues.

And I just lately have heard about Jellyfish
Jellyfish
I've only just signed on, but Jellyfish says they give you a percentage of your buy (looks to be about average 3 or so %) right back to you. In $$, not points. I haven't used it yet, like I said, but I do have Xmas shopping to do, and will let you know how it goes.

So, we've got that, right? Don't just shop: make your shopping work for you! (This can sometimes be difficult if you're clicking through other sites ... listed in #2 or #3, but try to remember that you want to go through these sites.)

2) Always look for coupon codes. Seriously, if you are shopping online and don't look for coupon codes, then you shouldn't be shopping online. WantNot is a great site, Mir will post any deals she knows about, and then you know about them and ... UGh... then you want to buy something through that deal, even if you don't need it. The sites I regularly check for a specific retailer's deal (Say, my Old Navy bag is filled up to $200 and I think "Maybe I should see if there's any deals to be had here?") are Slickdeals, and - in the interest of earning stuff - I do searches through Blingo. You can win prizes & stuff. I have not won anything yet. But if you sign up, make sure you say my e-mail referred you; so that if you win, I win too, and then we'll have DOUBLE PRIZES!!!

3) Comparison shop. If there's a specific item you're looking for, type it into
Cnet, Froogle,Nexttag, Shopping or Shopzilla and you'll get all the competitors prices for that one item. If you need a specific price range, you can usually narrow that down too.

4) E-bay is not the only way. Ebay is great, but it can get expensive pretty fast (see: stupid vintage playpen that goes for $200;) You probably already know about Craigslist, but there's also Freecycle,(which isn't exactly barter, but close enough) & Freesharing. These are probably not your best bet this close to the holidays, but might be useful at other times of the year, when you're not in such a rush.

5) Don't forget Shipping & Handling: sometimes it's cheaper to browse online, and then get it at a store. Or use the website's (like CircuitCity's site) to reserve one at your local store before you go.

5b) Don't forget that Shipping takes time. If you want these things at your house by a certain date, you may have to pay more, and you still risk not having it in time if you don't order it soon enough. So get started, already.

How bout you guys... any tips to share?

Did you think I forgot you?

No such thing. I was waiting for Jeopardy, since I knew that was what I wanted to post about today. Specifically, the ridiculousness that is Celebrity Jeopardy.

I have a total love-hate relationship with Celebrity Jeopardy; LOVE that celebrities come on and play for charities; HATE that you can play the entire game with a 6th grader and both of you will get more answers correct than the celebrities.

Ok, I know we all know just how bad Celebrity Jeopardy is; SNL's take on it was amazingly funny, and sadly, not too far from the mark.


Sean Connery wasn't on the roster tonight, the contestants were Harry Shirer; Isaac Mizrahi, & Soledad Obrien (who happens to be the subject of a hilarious post by Dooce today, btw). I'm going to start off by saying that tonight's players screwed with my post. Because they mostly knew what they were doing, managed to get through a large portion of the board, and actually had a semi-difficult Final Jeopardy question (which caught two of them).

However, they are not the norm. And even in tonight's good showing, there were more than a few softball questions.

In the category new - someone recently married (newlywed)

Under 11 - in blackjack this card can be either 1 or 11 (Aces)

For Fly Overs: Heading North from South Dakota, you fly over this state before hitting Canada (how about North Dakota?)

And in Double Jeopardy, the supposedly more difficult round,
Under C - "nn" : A cozy little hotel, maybe for a honeymoon

But maybe they need the help: most often, the celebrities forget that if they get it right they get to choose the next question, waiting for Alex's prompting or who knows what. They also usually don't get very far in the boards, since we have to waste time with musical guests (who I happen to like in other circumstances, but in Jeopardy? When there's about 34 seconds for the question? No thanks.)

I get that it's for charity, and that you don't want to make the celebrities look stupid, but isn't asking them questions that are ridiculously easy really just saying: "We all know that you're too dumb to actually play this game with the real questions, so we'll give you the easy ones."


Again, tonight's questions were a bit harder than last week's: not entirely insulting their intelligence. Instead dumbing it down just enough for them to make it through the DJ round and rack up some good scores.

But then they went and ruined it by having a "stupid answers" category. As if they all weren't stupid answers.

Case in point:

Last week the question was something like this:

Celebrity relatives

Her grandmother, Louisa Drew starred in a play with John Wilkes Booth. (they said the name of the play, but I don't remember it)

Two of the celebrities wrote down NANCY DREW, for god's sake. Nancy Drew is A) not a real person; B) not a celebrity & again, a FICTIONAL CHARACTER!!; C) not likely to be related to a real live person, since she exists only in books.

The actual answer was Drew Barrymore.

It's nice of the celebrities to do things for charity, and it's nice that the show will pay the charities as much as they do (certainly larger payoffs than any of the contestants manage to get.)
But wouldn't it be better if you could show that the celebrities have brains?

I mean some of them must ~ right???

Alternatively, they should just let Will Ferrel host.

I'm reading Life: Our Century in Photographs and it gives me chills.

Some of the pictures are amazing, or graphic, or insane, but what bothers me is some of the things that are being said:

Regarding WWI: "Now that the United States was at war, Wilson deployed all of his formidable oratorical gifts to nurturing that 'single way of thinking.' He turned to the great task of persuading the American people of the worar's justice and necessity. HOolding aloft the torch of his idealism, he preached about the high purpose of the war to end all wars and the crusade "to make the world safe for democracy."

:shiver:

"The war, they decided, was a long shriek of collective insanity. Why, they asked,, had they ever sent The Boys to Over There? ... The Americans turned away from Europe, and from Wilson and his League. ... What they desired and what we needed... was return to normalcy. The real America. No urban mess. No radicalism. No foreigners of alien cosmopolitanism." p80

From the Vietnam Era:

"Over time each We (talking about the Women's Rights, Civil Rights, etc. movements) tended to harden, to accentuate the differences between one camp and the other. Radicals despised liberals, who they blamed for the Vietnam War, for insufficient commitment to equality and for affluence-soaked complacency overall. Each we tended over time to repel, or neglect, all those who stood outside its circle." p292

"In all these moral skirmishes, America represented just one theater in a worldwide war of fundamentalism with modernity - a war marked by religious terrorism, jihad or holy crusade, and fatwa.... This was a deadly but doomed effort. The writhings of orthodoxy, like the thrashings of a tree tortured by a storm, bore witness to the power at owork on it, not to the order it hoped to impose." p341



History repeating itself, and nobody noticing.

----------------------------------------------------------------

There are other disturbing things: Pictures of children, stacked by twos, in Iron Lungs in the 30's; the 1951 defense-duck & cover drills in a NY school; Anne Frank, age 5, playing in the sandbox with some friends; a Buddhist monk on fire; Kennedy caskets.

And plenty of beautiful things : a young Queen Elizabeth giving her famous wave; Gene Kelly in My Pal Joey; Dick Clark in a room made of album covers; ticker tape parades (Why don't we do that anymore: I think there should be more ticker tape parades!); Nadia upsidedown at th 76 Olympics; a bride in Beirut; Fred Astaire with his tapping shoes.

But while the 20th Century may have had many wonderful things in it, I can only hope we won't continue to repeat the horrors.

(not) Tagged, but still It

Maya's Granny didn't tag me for this meme, but A) it looked like fun & B) I am very sore today, so I'm doing it anyways!


It's about movies, and I haven't been to the movies (in an actual theatre) in about 5 years. But I think I've got the answers covered anyways. Here goes:

1. Popcorn or candy?
Movie theater popcorn, snuck in candy. (What? Who does that? Not me!)

2. Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever
Citizen Kane. Seriously. Because everybody says it's the best & blah blah blah. But I already know what Rosebud is, so I kind of figure, what's the point?

3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar: Who loses theirs and to whom?
It's sad; I had to go and look at a list. So I'm going way back to 1959, taking away Charlton Heston's Best Actor statue (for Ben-Hur)& giving it to Cary Grant (who was in North by Northwest that year). I hate Ben-Hur. Ugh.


4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. Which will it be?
Gotta be Audrey Hepburn: My Fair Lady. The Dresses; the
Hats; the Shiny Accessories.


5. Your favorite film franchise is...
The Lord of the Rings or Star Wars.

6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them?
Cary Grant. Because he could sit there in his suit and make me drool. Julia Roberts because she seems like she could be a normal person, if given the chance. William Powell & Myrna Loy, because they're elegant & classic, without even trying & because interesting things always seemed to happen wherever they went. And the girl who plays Hermione in the Harry Potter movies, Emma Watson, because I heard she's thinking about not doing the next one, and that is UNacceptable. They would have deserts: I'm a better baker than cook. And I wouldn't eat because I'd be too busy drooling, discussing, or otherwise entertaining.

7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?
I think that we should be allowed to throw things at them. The chairs should have little ping pong balls or something and everyone else could keep throwing them until the loser got the hint. Also, the movie would pause, and then rewind to the point right before the phone started ringing.

8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator 2. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days.
Well, Ripley's the best, all-around. But as the thing I usually need protecting from is the sun, I'd say Mystiques a better bet for me personally. "Hey, I need some shade here!"

9. What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie?
Poltergeist, from beginning to end. It's cheezy now, but to a 6 year-old, watching it in the dark on a tiny little black and white TV, the thunderstorm scene, the raw meat scene, the bodies in the mud pool scene: All very very scary.

10. Your favorite genre (excluding comedy and drama) is?
I guess I love holiday movies next best: Elf, Love Actually, Christmas Vacation, Rudolph's Shiny New Year, Home for the Holidays, It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th St, etc...

11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power?
Maya's Granny had a great answer: I choose some of my favorite books and, where they are still alive, have the authors do the screenplays. I'm not sure who would do the screenplays for Twain. Cast actors rather than stars.

To which I add: Stop pretending that stupid is funny. It's not. Stop writing/producing movies for teenagers: there are a lot of other people out here. Stop pretending that a 60 year old man is a suitable partner for a 22 year old girl: he's not.

12. Bonnie or Clyde?
Ick to both. But I like Jack Nicholson as an actor, so he wins.

13: Who are you tagging to answer this survey:
Anybody who wants to play...

Saturday's already mostly over

& I never did get around to the Hunt. That's ok... I'll just go check out what all you've had to say today.

I was trying to make some progress on Oldest Sister's scrapbook, as her birthday is, oh, three weeks away. I'm getting there, but I'm not near done yet. I did get 9 pages done today though. Part of my problem is organization: I know I have quotes about reading, so then I have to dig out the quotation folders (yes, folders: 6 as of right now), and wouldn't you know it, reading is one of the subjects I haven't gotten around to putting in order yet. So then I have to comb through them all, looking for the little yellow dot that means it's about books (yes, I have both folders and a color coding system. Shut up.) & try to find one that fits the pictures. And of course, I get distracted. "Oh, yeah... I remember that book. That was a good book: Why don't I have a copy of that book? I should put it on my PBS list..." and on and on.

So, for today's post, how bout some really good quotes about books &/or reading?

Yeah, that's what I thought:


“A good book is like an unreachable itch. You just can’t leave it alone.” Laura Bush



“When we read a story, we inhabit it. The covers of the book are like a roof and four walls. What is to happen next will take place within the four walls of the story. And this is possible because the story’s voice makes everything its own.” John Berger

“Mother & I talked about books. It was our way of loving each other, and the reading of the same book was our principal shared experience. The worlds we inhabited were very different; here we had a common text. Even after I grew up & became aware that Mother did not discriminate between art and trash, and that I needed to, I remained, forever, willing to read any piece of garbage she wanted me to, just for the pleasure, the cocoa-in-bed, Christmas-Eve pleasure, of sharing it with her.” Jincy Willett



"One sure window into a person’s soul is his reading list.” Mary B.W. Tabor



“Well, books get to me personally. They remind me of the person I was and the people I knew at the time I read them, the places I visited, the dreams I had as I lay on the couch or in bed or on the beach & read them.” Sara Nelson



“When I was reading a book as a child I never saw or heard or smelled anything around me, not friends coming down the street in a cloud of summer dust, not the yells of my brothers from the backyard, not the aroma of my mother’s cooking from the kitchen down the hall. Reading was an ocean, a pond, a warm bath, and I slipped underwater. I had gills; I could breathe there, was a live in a book more than anyplace else I ever went.” Anna Quindlen


When I tell you that this is less than a third of the quotes I have, you'll see just how I managed to get distracted.

:)

Random much?

First off, let me just say this: I am totally not above using my blog for personal gain. So lemme ask you guys:

1) How's Blogger Beta? Everytime I publish a post, Blogger tells my how much better my blog could be on Beta. Anybody done the switch, have any opinions on how it's going? I'd love to hear it.

2) Now that a few people are actually reading my blog (I see you, lurkers. Welcome!), I'm wondering about commenting etiquette. I know Autumn talked about it a while back, but I'm still wondering. I try to reply both here and in e-mail back to the person. Because I know I don't always go back to the place where I've commented. So I'm hoping to get around to tracking everybody down.

3) Is your family crazy too? Because the Christmas craziness has already started here (Some people want to do gifts, others don't; Some want to pick names, others say they're buying for everybody), and I'm trying to NOT PLAY. You will not draw me in: I'm going to enjoy the entire Christmas season this year. So there.

4)Is there any world in which


this is not the cutest baby ever?


5) Why are side effects from drugs so annoying? Anybody got a rememdy for Dry Mouth? Because it seriously sucks. Also? Weight gain is r--i-diculous. Since starting the Lyrica ( & upping my steroids) I've gained 12 pounds. 12 pounds in a little over a month. This can not be allowed to continue.

6) How's your Friday going? It's getting dark so early here, it's screwing with my body clock. The non-sleeping body clock that just wonders why there is such a thing as day and night anyways: Night is just darker & with worse T.V.

7) Whatcha' readin lately? I've LOVED la Nora's Circle Trilogy, and her new In Death ( Mavis' Baby!!). I'm thinking of posting what I've been reading, what's in my TBR pile. I might get around to it this weekend. I might not.

I'm ready for a nap now people. How bout you?

Let's get this weekend started!

Another Poetry Thursday

So far, I'm feeling pretty good about posting everyday: I don't feel like I have to dig too hard to have something to say, or that I'm too boring, or that it gets in the way of anything else I have to do. I'm planning accordingly, & spend a lot of thinking "oh, that'd be a good post." So, about 1/3 of the way through, I'm still feeling pretty confident. We shall see what we shall see.

----------------------------------------

Thanks to everybody who got in touch with me yesterday: the Dr. appointment was indeed a Hope-Raiser. I spent a lot of the appointment trying not to burst into tears, because my doctor just tries SO. HARD. I came away with a couple of negatives (my muscle tone is decreasing again; flu shot is hit or mix for me; my tender points are getting worse),a few next steps (increasing the Lyrica dosage; adding flax seed to my cereal in the mornings for its anti-inflammatory properties; continuing to wait and wait for those electro-microscopic biopsy results), and no frickin idea of what the hell most of it means. He's just the nicest guy, though, and I hate leaving his office feeling like we are failing each other, especially when I know that we are both doing our best.

---------------------------------

On to... Poetry Thursday!

Ordinary Life
Barbara Crooker

This was a day when nothing happened,
the children went off to school
without a murmur, remembering
their books, lunches, gloves.
All morning, the baby and I built block stacks
in the squares of light on the floor.
And lunch blended into naptime,
I cleaned out kitchen cupboards,
one of those jobs that never gets done,
then sat in a circle of sunlight
and drank ginger tea,
watched the birds at the feeder
jostle over lunch's little scraps.
A pheasant strutted from the hedgerow,
preened and flashed his jeweled head.
Now a chicken roasts in the pan,
and the children return,
the murmur of their stories dappling the air.
I peel carrots and potatoes without paring my thumb.
We listen together for your wheels on the drive.
Grace before bread.
And at the table, actual conversation,
no bickering or pokes.
And then, the drift into homework.
The baby goes to his cars, drives them
along the sofa's ridges and hills.
Leaning by the counter, we steal a long slow kiss,
tasting of coffee and cream.
The chicken's diminished to skin & skeleton,
the moon to a comma, a sliver of white,
but this has been a day of grace
in the dead of winter,
the hard cold knuckle of the year,
a day that unwrapped itself
like an unexpected gift,
and the stars turn on,
order themselves
into the winter night.

---------------------------

This poem speaks to the wanting, the longing in me. These are the kind of ordinary days I'd like to have, some day. My ordinary is extraordinary just by it's very nature: having to survive each moment, each day is difficult in ways you don't think to express. And one of those ways is the absence of ordinary.

But, even though I don't have the family I might wish for, I do have the family I've got. And my nephew and I spent many of our days building block towers, racing his cars back and forth across the kitchen floor. I know all about the "drift into homework," and "peel(ing) the potatoes and carrots without paring my thumb." We might not have pheasants in the yard, but there is a lot here that is recognizable.
And that closing, the lyrical language in this sentence:
The chicken's diminished to skin & skeleton/the moon to a comma/ a sliver of white/ but this has been a day of grace/ in the dead of winter/ the hard cold knuckle of the year/ a day that unwrapped itself/ like an unexpected gift"
That there is an intense beauty in even these smallest moments is one of this poem's most powerful meanings.


And I can only hope that our winter ~ yours and mine ~ will be full of these days of grace.