5 worst things your almost 3-year-old niece could be doing while you think she's napping (*as experienced by me in the past few months)
5) Climbing out of the playpen/off of the bed to creep over to the french door, where she will stand and stare at you unblinkingly
4) Playing with (thanks be to god, empty & still closed) prescription medication bottles
3) Eating your chapstick
2) Coloring in her belly button, hands, arms & legs (and your pillowcase. And your sheets) with a fountain pen & then falling asleep on top of the fountain pen so that it leaks all over whatever area was miraculously uncolored
and the number one thing
1) Pooping. Then playing with the poop. Then wiping it on your face.
(Today was #2. I alternately wanted to laugh, fume, and take photographs. I did none of those things ... at least in her presence.)