Tuesday, May 21, 2013


What's going on? 

I'm hiding. (oops, sorry bout that)


Writing (but obviously not here).

Tumblr-ing (There's a story for another post.  In the meantime: here).

Sorting through pictures from 1978.

Avoiding making eye contact with actual real life people, especially the ones who live in my house.

Trot, trotting to doctors hither and yon, as usual. (Another set of stories, another set of posts.  In the meantime: New meds: Yay! New diagnoses: boo! Old diagnosis suddenly rearing their heads again: double boo!)

Missing my little people as things are too chaotic both here and there for proper sleepovers, and apparently one of the things I failed to teach them was how to return a phone call. (I hate the phone, so yeah: I probably dropped the ball there.)

Weeding out all the spam comments that keep getting through Blogger's spam catchers (seriously - like 5 every single day: it's annoying. Stop spamming me, "i read your peice and it seems relevant to my work on PLEASEBUYTHIS THING.COM".)

Getting up to 3 hours of sleep on one of my new meds, which - let me tell you seems like nothing, but if you've been living on Actually No Sleep for Very Many Years, these 1/2 hour chunks of real sleep are like mini miracles at this point.  Of course, the sleep is still sucky - not deep or restorative or even all at once, but it's a baby step, and I'll take it. 

Memorizing poetry on a Penguin App. ("Shall I compare thee to a summer's day/thou art more lovely and more temperate/rough winds do shake the darling buds of May/and summer's lease hath all to short a date/sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines/and often is his gold complexion dimmed/ and every fair from fair sometime declines/by chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed.  But thy eternal summer shall not fade/nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st/ nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade/ when in eternal lines to time thou grow'st/ So long as men can breathe or eyes can see/ so long lives this and this gives life to thee.) There's a lot of free time - and very little free wifi - in waiting rooms. 

Procrastinating writing, reading, reviewing, buying, talking, meeting, thinking, doing.

Feeling old, as my oldest nephew goes to prom (freaking prom!) and my little sister's baby bump becomes more pronounced (we're past halfway to a new nephew, people: this is big news).

Just feeling too damn much, and not knowing how to sort it all out.

So pretending that I have it all sorted out by ignoring it and doing all of the things above, and many more.

And that's where we're at, folks.  Twenty first of May, 2013 - Lil Girl's 7th Birthday - And I spent it being confused by doctors, amused by Tumblr & Twitter (I agree: GIF does not sound like a peanut butter, people!), annoyed by my dad, ignored by most everybody else, and trying to figure out how the hell I'm not as stuck as I feel.  BUT, on the plus side: I do get to wrestle with my pillows for the close to 3 hours of sleep soon, I memorized some Shakespeare in my spare time, and I actually posted a blog instead of just thinking I SHOULD post a blog and then not doing it for, oh 20 days or so.  So I've got that going for me.

It's gotta be all uphill from here, right?

(Oh, and if anybody wants to explain to me how I'm breaking Tumblr and not posting G(as in Give me a break)IFs correctly, that'd be super too.  I'm just adding it to the list for now, and reblogging instead of adding things, because the one time I tried, it didn't show up at all, and now I don't know how to fix it.  I feel like when I had to teach my uncle how to use Firefox, because he thought the only way he could get online was through AOL.  I am officially too old for the internets, bc I broke my Tumblr.  I will figure it out, though, eventually.  Preferably before Yahoo corrupts it and leaves its empty shell behind.) 

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