My own post this year is a little bit different than some of the stuff I’ve addressed previously (you can see my BADD posts from 2012, 2011, 2010 (Oracle Post: commented on by none other than Oracle writer, Gail Simone! and is one of my favorite posts ever,) 2009, 2008, & 2007,), because I want to talk to you about a book I think might be right up your alley.
Friend of this blog (and this blogger), Laurie Edwards - author of the fabulous Life Disrupted:Getting Real About Chronic Illness in your 20s & 30s, and of the excellent posts at the blog Laurie Edwards, Writer (previously A Chronic Dose) has recently written a new - and extraordinary - book called In the Kingdom of the Sick, which is on sale now. It’s an excellent book, that some of you might have already heard of (Laurie’s been doing a bit of a virtual book tour over the past month or so), but even so, I think it’s something worth discussing again here.
Let me first say, that it’s complicated for me to talk about this book, particularly in any sort of unbiased way, since I’m in it. Quite a bit, actually: Over the course of the last four years, Laurie’s been interviewing me, and asking me a bunch of thoughtful, challenging, questions - both specific and sweeping in scope - and then listening to me blabber on and on in response. She somehow managed to cobble a lot of my bits of nonsense together with the insights of other patients and bloggers and respected health care advocates, and combined them with years of dedicated research into the social, environmental, and cultural implications of chronic illness and come up with a sophisticated, well-rounded, and solid take on what it means to live with chronic illness in America.
I’m going to talk about this book on two different levels - as someone whose personal story was told in its pages, and as just a reader, focusing on the compelling themes and discussions that Laurie manages to include in her chapters.
On a personal level, I have to say how strange it was for me to see my story in print. To have my experience of illness not just represented truthfully and succinctly, but respectfully. If you are a patient, like me, with often invisible/misunderstood chronic illnesses, you learn pretty fast that your word is not to be taken as gospel truth, that your story is to be heard with skepticism, that your experience of what it’s like to live in your body doesn’t translate to how people think it should be, and is therefore invalid. But - as a chronically ill adult herself - Laurie has dealt with these attitudes on her own, and knows how important it is to make sure that she listened to and honored our experiences - I can only speak for my own interview process, but there was never a time when I felt as if what I was saying wasn’t being heard, and that really comes through in the final text.
Which, for me, wound up being quite startling when I actually read the book: there’s my story. All typed up and neat between the covers of an actual book - with my real name attached even! (Which, considering I run an ‘anonymous-ish’ blog, gave me some pause about posting this here: but my concern is more that the people who know me in real life don’t find the blog me, not that the people who know blog me don’t find out who I am in real life, so I’m willing to take the risk.) Even knowing my own experiences, they were hard to read: in some cases I was harsh on myself, or my family, and in others, the reality of my story is that it is often stark, as chronic illness often is - at least in this context. So, it was sometimes hard to read about how doctors are dismissive of my pain, or how my family and friends (and teachers and doctors) so often discounted what I was feeling in favor of what they thought I should be feeling. But the thing that Laurie manages to do so well here is incorporate all of the random pieces of my story and intertwine them with the stories of so many others, and place them in historical, social, medical contexts that make them so much more than just my stories: she makes them matter, in a way I hadn’t considered before. The book is both my story and not my story - The author is honoring & using our anecdotes and non/mis-diagnoses and perspectives to discuss a more universal story, to show the patterns that surround the lived experiences of individuals & groups with chronic illnesses.
This is one of the things that I found most fascinating about the book (and most relevant to my own experience of living with a chronic illness): that there are certain things that are universal to people living with chronic illnesses and disabilities - “We want science to give us clues when we’re surrounded by darkness, but we do not want to be reduced to impersonal statistics.” for example - but it’s still such an individual process. And that Laurie is able to blend and balance that so well is a credit to her skill as a writer.
Laurie is able to see the big patterns - to identify and illustrate broad themes over long periods of time - but to make them feel real and relevant by using the true stories of actual, living patients. By focusing on how the concepts of illness and patients have evolved over time, and using specific examples from those she’s interviewed, she manages to prove that illness doesn’t exist in a vacuum, but that the “stereotypes, assumptions, and challenges” that accompany our perceptions of illness as a whole, disability & chronic illness in particular are doing real harm (or, could be harnessed to give true benefit) to real people in real time. (A fact that will be well noted on your BADD journey today, I’m sure.)
The example that most relates to my own life is that of the Tired Girls (a phrase coined by Paula Kamen in her excellent book All In My Head): those suffering with auto-immune diseases, invisible illnesses, migraines, pain syndromes & chronic fatigue. Set against the backdrop of the 1980s, a time when (once again) “the fit body became at once a status symbol and an emblem of an individual’s purchasing power, moral health, self control and discipline,” and our culture decided that being unfit was a moral failing, the stereotype of
“The Tired Girl stands for so much that society disdains: weakness, exhaustion, dependence, unreliability, and the inability to get better. She is far removed from the cancer survivor triumphantly crossing the finish line in her local fund-raising event, surrounded by earnest supporters. The Tired Girls have few cheerleaders, and, often lacking correct diagnoses or effective treatments, wouldn’t even know how to define what or where their finish line is.”
Later on, she continues:
“The issues apply to chronic illness in powerful ways. For one there is obviously no finish line with chronic illness, literally or figuratively; we just live with symptoms that wax and wane and will continue to do so. Without that finish line that denotes survivorship, there is not the same level of cultural awareness or acceptance of our diseases, no backdrop of success with which outsiders can judge our journey. Our survival is more subtle and nuanced; it entails adaptation and negotiation, and is as fluid as our disease progression and symptoms are. … It is a murky gray space...”
What does survivorship mean to someone who will never cross a finish line, who just has to make it through the next day? What does it mean to live in a society that embraces the power of fitness and an ideal of “you can do it if you try hard enough” for groups of people who just can’t live up to that goal of perfection- and how does that effect not just the way they are treated by the culture they’re living in, but by the medical establishments that exist in that culture; It’s an area that’s often overlooked, and I’m glad to find it here.
Again and again, Edwards uses words like “unpalatable” “Antithetical” “disdain” “blame” “untenable” “Overreacting” “dismiss” - in her discussions of how society, the medical world, and sometimes even the patients themselves view people with illnesses such as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome & Fibromyalgia, and - as a sufferer for 18 years - I can only agree that these are still the pervasive attitudes. She talks about the importance of medical research (and funding - or lack of) as “critical to better acceptance and better treatment options”, as anybody with an underfunded, misunderstood disease can attest to.
There are also compelling discussions into the intersections of gender and illness (which she also touches on in this recent New York Times article about Pain & Gender); environment and illness, class and illness; and how much of our experience of illness relies on the time and place in which we are living. For example, most of us in America right now have the privilege of living in a ‘post-polio’ time, but less than 70 years ago, that would not be the case. What attitudes and values from the post WWII era of "irresistible progress, a time when it seemed like science was on the brink of curing so much of what ailed us..." and yet "chronic conditions that were somehow beyond the reach of medical science - would appear that much more unpalatable" are we still carrying over and living with today - in our daily lives and in our medical establishments? How much of what we now understand about diseases like Multiple Sclerosis or Epilepsy would be shocking to someone from the early 1900s? And what will we learn in the next 10-50-100 years that will change how we view the misunderstood illnesses of today? How do new technologies that will help us discover the inner workings of the brain, or processes of pain or genetic implications of illness, clash with the ever-present theory of self-improvement and moral judgements surrounding things like weight and lifestyle choices? Somehow, she manages to touch on all of these topics and many more.
The book is definitely, as the subtitle proclaims, a “Social History of illness in America” - peppered through with patient interviews and perspectives are the broad trends and social constructs and how they inform our experience of illness - both as patients and as observers/outsiders.
She looks at the Disability Rights movement in the larger context of the times - as emerging from the basic principles of the Civil Rights movement, and the Women’s Rights movement - and how it sometimes has come into conflict with both of those - If you’ve spent anytime on the Internet, then you know that not everyone’s feminism is intersectional, not to mention that if women’s right’s activists were arguing for equality, and certain illnesses were keeping women from being able to claim that equality, well, there would obviously be conflict. Also true is that chronic illness, in terms of the disability movement as a whole, is not always welcomed and appreciated by the decision makers: and that the needs of people with chronic illnesses both intersect and diverge from the ‘mainstream’ disability rights movement (if there even is such a thing any more). As Laurie puts it “Invisibility affords many opportunities for alienation.”
She also provides one of the clearest perspectives about chronic pain I've ever read. And doesn't shy from mentioning the judgements that often come attached to having something so debilitating that people - including doctors -can’t see or often measure reliably (and therefore don’t trust) -
“Chronic pain, especially severe chronic pain, is so encompassing and omnipresent it makes concentrating on anything else other than it nearly impossible. Chronic pain can make it excruciating to engage in physical activities, keep up with a regular work schedule, or even leave the house. Over time, chronic pain erodes so many aspects of the patient’s identity that it sometimes seems all that is left is the minute-by-minute experience of simply surviving the pain itself. It makes the threads of everyday life blurry and out-of-reach, yet pain becomes the narrow, sharp lens through which everything else that matters is filtered. This is the reality behind the statistics, the jobs left behind, the co-pays for painkillers that invite as many problems as the fleeting relief with which they tempt. .. It’s an untenable situation: patients are considered lazy or indulgent if they remain housebound, but should they manage some activity or productivity, then their pain can’t be as severe and exhausting as they claim. Here again we see the contradiction so common in the social history of disease: the absence of outward physical manifestations of illness somehow negates the actual experience of having it.”and later
“Widespread pain conditions like fibromyalgia or CFS are especially social conditions, since their symptoms have a direct impact on a patient's ability to maintain various roles and identities. Ties to the outside world via employment, family obligations, activities and hobbies, and social engagements are whittled away, and physical and psychosocial isolation increases. Add to this process the fact that their symptoms and complaints are routinely viewed with skepticism from physicians, loved ones, or both, and the alienation of individual patients takes on more momentum. In The Culture of Pain, David B. Morris writes that pain “cannot be reduced to a mere transaction of the nervous system. the experience of pain is also shaped by such powerful cultural forces as gender, religion, and social class … Even when it just grinds on mercilessly, pain, like love, belongs among the basic human experiences that make us who we are.””Right? How much do I love that somebody gets all of that?
I’ve managed to include just a few of my favorite quotes out here, but trust me - there’s a million more in the book (see attached photo with number of sticky notes in my (!signed!) copy: and I promise that I did not sticky note myself). I didn’t even get to mention the rise of consumerism, survivorship and personal responsibility, or the emergence of social media as not just a place for activism (shoutout to #BADD), but also a place for community building, patient research and all sorts of evolving questions about the role ‘participatory medicine’ will play in the lives of current & future patients.
In the Kingdom of the Sick is comprehensive: it’s super compelling to anybody who’s interested in how disabilities and illnesses have been and are now perceived in our culture, and how that might change moving forward, and is incredibly relevant in a world where nearly everyone is impacted in some way by chronic illness (if you don’t have one, I guarantee you know someone who does).
Highly, highly recommended, and hats off to the wonderful Laurie Edwards, who I’m so glad I get to call my friend.
I'll be back at some point with my favorite BADD quotes round-up: I hope you all are hitting as many sites as you can, and leaving as many comments as you can (Trust me, they really matter!) Speaking of: please let me know in e-mail (email@example.com) if you are having trouble with the comments on my site: Blogger does not always cooperate, and I've tried my best to shut down the captcha, but it doesn't always stay off. Thanks for reading!
*Laurie Edwards, In The Kingdom of the Sick, p10