Halfway through and A survey too!

Mid-Event Survey:


1. What are you reading right now?Tempt me Twilight audio, and I think I'll be picking up Dairy Queen next.

2. How many books have you read so far? 6.5

3. What book are you most looking forward to for the second half of the Read-a-thon? Three Cups of Tea, which I've been saving forever.

4. Did you have to make any special arrangements to free up your whole day?
Not really: I was hoping to have Youngest Nephew over for a sleepover tonight, but it wasn't me that held that up, so aside from my parents, I've been all clear.

5. Have you had many interruptions? How did you deal with those? I've had very few interruptions, honestly. Mum or Dad wandering in, but that's about it.

6. What surprises you most about the Read-a-thon, so far? That time goes by so quickly, so I don't get to fit in as many of the add-ons as I might like. I think I'm going to cut back a little on the extracurricular chasing in this second half, unless I feel like listening rather than actively reading.

7. Do you have any suggestions for how to improve the Read-a-thon next year? I'm having such a fabulous time, I can't imagine what would make it better, at this point.

8. What would you do differently, as a Reader or a Cheerleader, if you were to do this again next year? Definitely vary the books a little bit better, have more choices immediately on hand (if I ever unpack the bookcases, this will not be an issue, but as it is, I can't get to all those boxes right this minute.) And maybe asking for sponsors to help with the donations (I'm still thinking about that).

9. Are you getting tired yet? I'm always tired, so this is just an ordinary day for me, only more people are playing along.

10. Do you have any tips for other Readers or Cheerleaders, something you think is working well for you that others may not have discovered? So far, the only trick I've got is the listening to audiobooks while I do the detail type things - the food getting, book retrieving, stretching of sore parts - so that I'm not losing any of the reading time. But I do that normally, too, so I can't say it's an adaptation I have just for the challenge.

Best of luck, everybody: We're halfway there!
(And, having made it to 6 books, I'm up to $50, so I feel pretty damn good about that!)

Readathon Hour #11 Update

Title of book(s) read since last update: My Father's Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett; Another couple chapters of Tempt me at Twilight
Number of books read since you started:
Pages read since last update: 140
Running total of pages read since you started: 1049+140 = 1189
Amount of time spent reading since last update: Since 5:55, I've been reading non-stop so that's 75 minutes
Running total of time spent reading since you started: 625+75 = 700 minutes (I love even numbers like that!)
Mini-challenges completed: Three previous challenges, plus the two I completed this hour = 5
Other participants you’ve visited: Skrishna (who has a fantabulous reading rate); All of the Readers of the hour
Prize you’ve won: 0

Things I would do differently next time: I would be better prepared - already, even though we're one hour short of the halfway mark, I find that I don't have the right mix of books - my non-fiction has been disappointing, the children's books too short - So I'm thinking next time have a better mix of re-reads and new-to-me reads, and probably add a few more YA books (which I love, but just didn't have any on hand) or branch out to graphic novels.

Readathon Mini-Challenges

Linus' Blanket has a mini-challenge called Feed Me Seymour, where you're supposed to post a scene where somebody is eating in from your books.

Here's Pooh Bear, being, well, Pooh Bear from Positively Pooh, Timeless Wisdom From Pooh:

Pooh always liked a little something at eleven o'clock in the morning, and he was very glad to see Rabbit getting out the plates and mugs; and when Rabbit said, "Honey or condensed milk with your bread?" he was excited that he said, "Both," and then, so as not to seem greedy, he added, "But don't bother about the bread, please."

And Joystory is hosting a Reading is Fundamental mini-challenge where we post a picture with kids and books... If you've been here before, you know I've got plenty to choose from... Let's see what I can dig up quickly (so I can get back to the printed books and give Kleypas a rest for a bit):





It's Youngest Nephew and Lil Girl at the local library - 2 years ago! - when we were first introduced to the joy of Llama, Llama, Red Pajama:)

See you back here soon!

Readathon Update - Hours 8-10

Title of book(s) read since last update:Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang by Katie Macalister & a few more chapters of Tempt me at Twilight
Number of books read since you started: 4.5
Pages read since last update: 399
Running total of pages read since you started: (650+399=) 1049
Amount of time spent reading since last update: I can't believe my last update post was at 1:30! I've read non-stop since then, taking only about 15-20 minutes out here and there to talk with the people who are actually real in my life. So that's about 220 minutes
Running total of time spent reading since you started: 405 + 220 = 625 (10.42 hours!)
Mini-challenges completed:I just completed theRe-read Challenge, so that brings me up to 3 mini-challenges.
Other participants you’ve visited: I visited all the readers of the hour for hour 8 (Thanks again, everybody: I am not used to so much traffic all at once!)
Prize you’ve won: Still nunca, but that's ok... I'm having a ball!

Mini Challenge !

This is for the minichallenge over at Bartsbookshelf:

My title is Delicious Dairy Queen: Don't tempt me!

Readathon - Hour 8

(I'm left wondering what it says about me that every time I try to type "Readathon" I want to type "Readathong"?)


While I was busy updating this post, there was a sudden influx of comments: It turns out I am a Reader of the Hour! Welcome everybody ~ I'm so excited & am having a great time... I really appreciate the feedback & support!

Since I've got your attention, I'm just going to mention again that I am reading for The Whittemore Peterson Institute, for their astonishing and groundbreaking work with CFIDS research; Donors Choose, which allows teachers to post classroom needs and donors to pick which they can help with; and, since this is about books, what better way than to support a new generation of writers by supporting 826 National, which SisterK introduced me to this summer and which has an awesome program that promotes creative writing in schools. For every three books I read, I'm going to donate $25 (I haven't decided how to split it up yet), so I'm already up to $25 for three worthy causes.

Best of luck to everybody, and I'll try to do some visiting while Poppy continues to chase her sister's ferret (in the audiobook listed below)!

Title of book(s) read since last update: I'm listening to the audio of Tempt Me Tonight, by Lisa Kleypas
Number of books read since you started: Still 3 (audio books take so much longer, but it gives me a chance to see what everybody else is up to)
Pages read since last update: I have no idea how you measure that for audiobooks, so I am estimating (by counting the # of pages in a chapter from the last Kleypas I have in print and using that) that I am about 65 pages in.
Running total of pages read since you started: (585 + 65)650
Amount of time spent reading since last update: 75 minutes
Running total of time spent reading since you started: 330 +75 = 405 minutes
Mini-challenges completed: The Map, and now a title game
Other participants you’ve visited:Eclectic Eccentric (whose mini challenge was cool, but I had no shot at completing); Biblophile By The Sea (who is supporting a very worthy cause!); Alita Reads(who's a great cheerleader);A Striped Armchir (who happens to have one of the same books I have in my TBR) and Just One More Thing (who have a great title sentence sequence!
Prize you’ve won:

Readathon Update - Hours #5 & 6

"But first, I want to thank you for being one of those people who listens and understands ... And even though I didn't know you, I felt like I did because you sounded like such a good person. The kind of person who wouldn't mind receiving letters ... The kind of person who would understand how they were better than a diary because there is communion and a diary can be found."

The Perks of Being a Wallflower Stephen Chbosky


Title of book(s) read since last update:The Perks of Being A Wallflower; Postiviely Pooh
Number of books read since you started:3
Pages read since last update: 289
Running total of pages read since you started: (294 + 289) = 585
Amount of time spent reading since last update: I updated around eleven, I spent 20 minutes since then doing other things (I drank three cups of tea and a
bottle of water; I think you can do the math on that yourselves), so that gives me another 160 minutes... and I'm going to correct my math from this morning (when my brain was still trying to understand the numbers and say that 10 minutes from 3 hours is not 80 minutes, but in fact 170 minutes (IDK why I was thinking in terms of half hours, and so I made it every 3x30 and subtracted 10: Don't ask me)... so that means:
Running total of time spent reading since you started: (keep track of this one to be eligible for a prize!) I've got 330 minutes total, 5.5 hours! Yay
Mini-challenges completed: Still only the map one, but I'm going to do a bit of that now, and start fresh at 2:00
Other participants you’ve visited: Also am on my way to do this
Prize you’ve won: 0.. except for reading two extraordinary books and one pretty positive one!

Readathon - Hour 4

I'm about halfway through The Perks of Being A Wallflower, and it is NOT disappointing. I'll be back to have some lunch and do some mini-challenges, when I'm finished!

Hour 3, Readathon

"Books can be possessive, can't they? You're walking around in a bookstore and a certain one will jump out at you, like it had moved there on its own, just to get your attention. Sometimes what's inside will change your life, but sometimes you don't even have to read it. Sometimes it's a comfort just to have a book around. Man of these books haven't even had their spines cracked. 'why do you buy books you don't even read?' our daughter asks us. That's like asking someone who lives alone why they bought a cat. For company, of course." - The Sugar Queen, Sarah Addison Allen, p180

<3 Loved it! This was an awesome book - really: awesome. I am definitely adding Sarah Addison Allen to my autobuy list.

So, an hour and a half in, let's see what's what:

Title of book(s) read since last update: The Sugar Queen
Number of books read since you started: 1
Pages read since last update: 294
Running total of pages read since you started:
Amount of time spent reading since last update: 80 minutes - 5 minutes for an update and 5 minutes for talking to the lazy people who are just getting up, and that's it.
Running total of time spent reading since you started: (keep track of this one to be eligible for a prize!) 80 minutes
Mini-challenges completed: I pinpointed myself (ish) on the map over at heylady
Other participants you’ve visited:
Prize you’ve won: 0

Up next is one that's been on my list for quite a while, because I kept seeing quotes from it all over the place and going "Yes: that is truth", and now I'm going to see if it's as good as the parts I've seen. It's The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.

See you in an hour, all!

Readathon - Hour 2

Hi there! I'm an hour and 125 pages into my first Readathon, and I'm loving The Sugar Queen so far (I've just reached a twist in the plot, and am glad that I didn't see it coming from page one - page 71 maybe, but that's pretty dang good for me).

Here's the Dewey's Readathon Introduction meme that's going around:

Where are you reading from today? I'm reading from bed, at the moment, but I might switch it up later and head to the chaise or the couch.

3 facts about me … I'm living with my parents, one sister (out of 5), and three chronic illnesses; I have no idea how to decorate the my new space, but I like to cut out pictures of places that I'll never be able to afford to decorate like; and I like pigs in a blanket (the only snack I have pre-prepared for today's challenge).

How many books do you have in your TBR pile for the next 24 hours? I've started off with a stack of 9, but there's about 12 others on a shelf four steps away.

Do you have any goals for the read-a-thon (i.e. number of books, number of pages, number of hours, or number of comments on blogs)? I do: at least three books, so I can do my first charitable donation; I'd like to do at least 12 hours, which seems entirely feasible so long as the people in my house cooperate; and I'm going to participate as much as I can online!

If you’re a veteran read-a-thoner, Any advice for people doing this for the first time? Sorry: I'm a first timer!

Alright, I'm back to the North Carolina mountains, and some mesmerizing stories.

And they're off...

I've got a stack of books, a cup of tea, and my cosiest sweat pants: I am ready to go! I have no idea how this works, but I'll be checking back in pretty soon, to keep you guys posted - although, in all likelihood, this will just be a series of posts clogging up your Google Reader come Monday morning, in which case, feel free to skim/skip: Synopisis? I am reading A LOT, for charity even. Scroll through to the last post and see how many of the 24 hours I actually made it.

First book up: Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen, whose first book Garden Spells was charming and enchanting. I've been saving this one for a special occassion, and now I've got one.

Best of luck to all the Readathon-ers, and I hope everybody has a great time!

Tomorrow, for the first time, I am participating in Dewey's 24 hour Read-a-thon. This challenge is something that's right up my alley because A) I love to read and B)I don't really sleep. Basically, I pledge to read - in whatever quantity or quality I choose - for 24 hours, beginning at 8 am tomorrow morning. I am wicked excited about it, for a couple of reasons.

The first is that it seems like these are my people - the book blogging community as a whole, and the idea that a community of bloggers are all going to be reading - & posting about reading - for this specific time period kind of fills me with a weird sense of glee... the sense of belonging, I suppose.

Secondly, I've set a few personal goals for myself:

• For every three books I read, I'm donating $25 to one of my chosen causes. The readathon isn't about how many books you read, and I don't want to make it about that, but I did want to have a few specific intentions to meet along the way. Since I am a relatively fast reader (although not the speed reader my family makes me out to be), I have no doubt that I can read three books within the specified time period, but I wanted to make sure that I stayed motivated during the 24 hours, so I decided that for every three books, I will make an additional donation. The three charities I'll be supporting are the three newest worthwhile causes that have made my radar: The Whittemore Peterson Institute, for their astonishing and groundbreaking work with CFIDS research (post to follow, really, but probably not till next week); Donors Choose, which allows teachers to post classroom needs and donors to pick which they can help with; and, since this is about books, what better way than to support a new generation of writers by supporting826 National, which SisterK introduced me to this summer and which has an awesome program that promotes creative writing in schools.
  


• I am going to do a 2:1 ratio of New to Me books to Old Familiars. Which means I'm hoping to make a rather large dent in my TBR pile, which means that I can then post those books on PaperbackSwap and get some more new to me books. ;)


• And I'm going to be posting as many times as possible during a 24 hour period (thus breaking my previous record of 3). I'm not going to set up a strict schedule, because if I say I'll post every half hour, and I'm really into the book I'm reading, I don't want to have to put it down to update y'all. I want to keep it so that it's still about enjoying the books. But I will promise to update as regularly as I can, participate in a few mini-challenges along the way, and check up on some of the other readers as well.

And lastly, I excited because this is something new. It's a new way to connect with new & old bloggy friends. It's something that incorporates the things I know I can manage physically with something that is out of my ordinary, and helps me to remember that, even in a flare (as I am still battling through), I can try something new and different.

So, I hope to see as many of you as possible here - at some point - tomorrow: I could use some great cheerleaders, if you're up for it. And if you're participating yourself, please let me know and I'll do my best to come root for you!

I've been working really hard on two posts: one on my sick-a-versary, and one on all of the new CFIDS research that's been coming out, and my take on the news/issues that surround it. They are both proving incredibly difficult to write (hello: conflicted much?), and so instead, today's post is going to be about how it took my virus scan 13.5 hours to scan my computer. That is more than half a day... I knew the computer was running slow, but that is fracking ridiculous! Of course, it may have something to do with the fact that there is about 8 GB of free space left on the drive, but that only goes to show you that this computer (four and a half years old now, which seems really YOUNG TO ME), is just not cutting it for me anymore. Of course, it's just going to have to hang on till the new year, or I win the lottery, which ever comes first.

A good way to start off the week

I know sometimes it must seem like all I take pictures of is Lil Girl, but that's just because she's here the most... On any given day, it's just me and Mum in the house for the majority of the day, and we both don't like to have our picture taken, so it's only when Lil Girl (a child who has known how to take her own picture since she was less than a year old) is around that I get the opportunity to play around with portraits.

Of course, she's also three and half, so a lot of the portraits come out looking like I was trying to take a picture of a blond and pink tornado, but I'll take what I can get. Anyway, here's my favorite shot from the batch I just finished editing (completely out of order, which is a pet peeve of mine, but I skipped ahead because of a friends wedding and forgot to go back).

I've been playing around with the sun and natural light lately (just in time for it to go away, right?), because I like the way it creates a halo through her curls... here's one of the ones that I think came out pretty good:



As always, you can catch more Best Shot Mondays over at Tracey's, where you can also hear about her exciting news! Way to go, Tracey! You can also check out some more of my newer pics by clicking on my Flickr badge in the sidebar.

Have a great week, everybody!

"I Love the World/And I Want to Lay Down"

"I love the world

it is so beautiful.

I love the world

every single day.

I love the world

when I was a little boy,

when I was a little girl,

when I was a little tiny baby.

I love the world

and I want to lay down.

I love the world

when I am a grown-up.

I love the world

and when I was a grown-up

I will be a teacher."

~ This is the song LilGirl made up for us the other day, which she then sang whilst spinning around in circles in the kitchen, waiting patiently for lunch to be served. The song includes what is probably my favorite line of lyrics ever, which I have used for this post title. Also, I have no idea where the whole teacher thing came from, except that if it were true (rather than the ramblings of a hyped up, loves to sing songs with nonsense words like "doobalala", 3 year-old), it would make her the fourth generation of teachers in our family. Which is nice and all, but I sure hope she decides to be a billionaire instead. Billionaires can teach.

A sale at Old Navy makes me wonder what year it is... I see shirts for Star Wars, Transformers, GI Joe, Snoopy, Hulk & Spiderman (all for boys, of course, but that's a different rant). At Target the other day, searching for a pair of pants to fit Lil Girl (who seems to have a permanent plumber's crack), there were Hello Kitty and Little Miss clothes right and left.

I'm just checking: it's not really 1985 is it?

"You are not as alone as you thought"

"We are lonesome animals. We spend all our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story begging the listener to say — and to feel — ‘Yes, that’s the way it is, or at least that’s the way I feel it. You’re not as alone as you thought.’ ” John Steinbeck

Some quotient love. I've been feeling particularly lonesome lately, and it's nice to recognize that other people get it, so here are some random quotes that are sticking to my brain tonight.

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them. — Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper




"It's too late to sleep anyway. The coffee's gone cold, so I just heat up another pot. Tonight, I feel like my whole body is made out of memories. I'm a mix tape, a cassette that's been rewound so many times you can hear the fingerprints smudged on the tape. Press play." Rob Sheffield, Love is a mix tape; Life and loss , One Song at a time.

“She read about people she could never be and adventures she could never have.” - Pushing Daisies

and, finally, to sum up how I'm feeling about the state of our nation lately:

"I know you have a lot on your desk/plate, but as a thin man who smokes, you may not understand the concept: all that stuff you've been putting on your plate? It's F(*)%$ chow time, brother. That's how you get stuff off your plate!" Jon Stewart, in an aside to President Obama, The Daily Show, Oct 6, 2009

Start eating, people. Start eating.

I've had the house to myself this weekend (and, when I say weekend, I say after Saturday at 6 pm, because the people in my house never get anywhere on time), and I think I like it.

Sure it's quiet, and there's nobody to talk to, but I really don't feel like talking anyways, so it's all good.

Here are some things I did that I couldn't ordinarily do:

1. I tried eggs, which I used to love and then about 9 years ago, all of the sudden started hating. To the point of gagging when I smelled them, kind of hate. (I think it had something to do with baking a cake with the kids at school one day, and one of them cracking open a rotten egg, right into the cake mix. Obviously we started over, but the damage was done.) But lately, I've been making a lot of eggs - scrambled eggs are Lil Girl's go-to meal, and fried eggs on toast are Youngest Nephew's, so there was a lot of egg making this summer. And the last couple of times I've made them, I found myself thinking "A little salt, some toast and bacon, and that yolk might actually be yummy," which is a big improvement over having to sing a song to distract myself from the fact that I was cooking eggs. But I haven't been brave enough to try them, the way I like them. There's just still an 'ick' factor. But this morning I figured, what the hell - I'll make them, and if I don't like them, there isn't anybody around to pester me into trying them a different way, or asking me why I don't like them, or to rail at me about wasting food. (Yes: I don't like to waste food either, but one egg isn't going to kill anybody.) Besides, it's not a waste - it's an experiment. Yeah, so - experiment concluded: FAIL. ALL CAPS FAIL. Still do not like eggs.
2. I threw up. (See #1)
3. I listened to the radio for two days straight: WERS' weekend line up is awesome. Including the Playground, just for nostalgia points. As quietly or loudly as I wanted to, not competing with anyone else's music or television or voices.
4. I scrapped and semi-organized my scrap stuff, commandeering the table, the floors, the chairs and just leaving it all there overnight because I wasn't done. (Ordinarily, people would want to, you know, walk or sit or something, and I'd have had to put it all away and start over in the morning.)
5. I kept the door open all night, which I never do, because Jebus forfend that I should actually be in some form of near sleep and hear someone in another part of the house: death to them! But with nobody here to make noise, I figured what the heck.
6. I kept the porch light on all night, which is slightly paranoid. I didn't want to have to flip it on if somebody rang the bell, because then they would know someone was home and I would have to answer the door. This way, if I didn't want to answer the door, I didn't have to, but I could still see who it was. (And yes, the doorbell actually did ring twice this weekend: Once was the delivery guy who brought me disgusting food (see #2) and the other time was a guy Dad works with whose mother is our neighbor. He brought us cookies his wife had made. I will answer the door for cookies ANYTIME.)

Not too much, really. No orgies, to the disappointment of some corrupt family members. No parties, because I am not 17 and this is not a movie from 1986. Nothing reckless (although I was sorely tempted to try the shower on my own, even I am not that stupid) or even really that interesting. Just a little alone time, which is hard for me as far as taking care of myself physically (argh - why is there so much eating that has to be done?), but I think it was something that helped me take care of myself emotionally. I don't know about you, but I start to get a little growly if there are always people around. And closing my door doesn't always close out the rest of the house, so it was just a nice little break from what passes for normal around here.

How's your weekend going?

Some recent reading ~

Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time by Rob Sheffield


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Yeah, I didn't really know a lot of this music... I am not up to date on the cool indy bands, and I never was. But I am sadly current when it comes to things like life and loss, and so found this to be moving and tragically real. There's kindness and moments of startling clarity and aimless, endless driving through the mountains, and I loved every page of it.

I continue to make mix tapes, and playlists, and mix CDs, because there are just songs that are just right for certain things. There are songs to hate by, songs to cry with, songs to sleep by, songs to be absorbed by... and music is as full of memories as any smell, any taste, any picture.

Just as an example of something that I really loved -


"It was bewildering and humbling to keep discovering how many brave things people can fail to talk themselves out of doing. There are a hundred excellent ways to talk yourself out of (writing a note like the one she sent me), and I've used them all."

Me too. I can talk myself out of just about anything... distract myself until it's too late to call, it's too far to go, all the stores are closed, and everyone else in the world who can still sleep is sleeping. And then I can spent the night berating myself for being a coward, cajoling & bribing myself into doing it 'first thing in the morning,' writing it on one to-do list after another. And I am constantly surprised that there are people in the world who just pick up the pen, or the phone, or the cookies they've just baked, and get it done: They just do the thing that seems impossible to me. I am in awe of those people ~ the ones who always remember to care.

Anyways... this book made me cry, which isn't fair, because now I have to make a new bookshelf, and go through my list again.


Understanding Exposure: How to Shoot Great Photographs with a Film or Digital Camera by Bryan Peterson


My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I was really hoping there'd be some sort of magic that would help to make this whole F stop business make better sense to me, but I'm not finding that to be true. I suppose I'll have to give in and take an actual, physical photography class, because I am just. not. getting it.


A Place Called Here by Cecelia Ahern


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Searching for missing persons and winding up a missing person. It's an interesting idea ~ when you need answers that aren't there, how do you find them?

(Maybe spoiler-ish?)


Even at the end of the story, I'm not entirely sure if Here is real or not, but the book kind of makes you wish it were. An Oz full of lost people, waiting for someone with the ruby slippers.

View all my reviews >>

4 years in, and Blogger's spell check still doesn't recognize 'blogger' as a word...

This week marks my fourth anniversary here at Never That Easy, and it has me doing a bit of reflecting.

A lot has happened in these four years, in my life & in the world, and I have been immensely fortunate to have this space to come and talk about it all. I may not be the most popular blogger, but I do have commenters who care and who take the time to read my often long and rambling thoughts and then let me know what they think about what I've said. You guys have been amazing: so much more than I expected when I first signed up for this blogger account and racked my brain trying to come up with an anonymous name for my space.

Over the course of the 4 years here, I've tried some things that didn't work for me, I've gone weeks without posting - and posted every day for months. I've learned the basics of html, figured out how to make a generic template my own, and considered adding ads (and realized that they wouldn't make me a profit). I've written things I felt guilty about posting, and not written things I felt guilty about not posting. On one memorable occasion, I was made to feel like much less than I actually am, and on occasions too numerous to count, I am made to feel like I am so much more than I am.

Because I am a blogger, I am a part of a diverse, often inspiring, and sometimes overwhelming community - it's a community with flaws, just like any other, but the support I've found here, the welcoming and understanding, far outweigh any flaws I've encountered. It's something that is hard to explain to people who don't read blogs - it's sometimes hard to explain to myself.

All I know is I have found connections here, and that those connections came at a critical time for me.



Living with chronic illnesses can be a very selfish thing, by necessity - and not even always in a negative way. Self care is vitally important, especially for those of us living with chronic challenges. But if you spend all your time monitoring how you are feeling and what is impacting that and which pills are helping or which doctor you have to call again for the 1000th time, it's so easy to spiral into a place where the energy required to make it through your daily life means you wind up focusing, almost exclusively on your life. (At least for me, it does.) And that's not the way I want to live.


Blogging has also made me much more aware of how much other people are going through: it's not as if I didn't know that life is hard for everyone before I started reading blogs, it's that I didn't always feel it. It's a lot harder to stay self-centered when you're reading about other people's lives, when you feel compelled to comment on particularly poignant posts, when you've just spent 10 minutes crying over someone else's loss.

I've always connected to writing - books have been my salvation more often than I can count - but connecting through the fabulous writing of bloggers means connecting
to the lives of real people. And having them connect with you.

I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't found people who understood - or who at least made the effort to understand. I didn't know there were so many people out there who had similar issues, who could get it, or people who have no idea what it's like to live my life, but who would listen to what I was saying and actually care. It still seems impossible to me that you all show up here whenever your Google Reader kindly informs you that I have said something else.

A lot of what I say is nonsense - memes and quizzes, random flotsam and jetsam from the wreckage of my brain - but a lot of it is also meaningful.

It's stuff that's hard to think, let alone write.

It's stuff that's personal and private and I that I never figured on sharing with anyone (let alone a bunch of people I've never met.)

It's stuff I'll always want to remember, and stuff I'd rather forget.

I don't have any promises for you about what comes next - I know there are some things I'd like to try this year, some stuff I'd like to feature in this space - but all I really know for sure is that I'll be back. Even when it seems like I just am not ever going to get around to writing half the posts that are littering up my head, I know I have to say something. So, thanks for being here when I do!