On the front porch with you...

Some of the things that I've learned at Grandmother's house -

- Having somebody tell you "I don't think I've ever told anybody that before" is a priceless gift.

- Sometimes paper and pen is the way to go...
- But good luck finding a working pen.

- Progress can be a four-letter word.

- The importance of knowing the day of the week &/or the date can be highly overrated.

- I could do the laundry/make the coffee/bake cookies at home, if things were set up in a way that allowed me to do them. (Social model of disability, anyone?)

- There is no occasion that doesn't call for tea.

- Worrying is a hereditary trait.
- So is fainting.
- And stubbornness.


- Although it is totally politically incorrect, and I realize it is not my place to decide what a group of people to which I do not belong prefer to be called, I think 'colored' sounds a lot nicer, and a lot more accurate, than 'black.' Of course, my father, the first time he saw a black person on a city bus, (probably around 4 years old) called her a "chocolate lady", which also sounds rather nice.

- Cheesecake at 3 in the morning isn't just something you see on TV.

- Letting the phone ring less than 5 or more than 10 times should be a punishable crime.

- Just because there's no fire doesn't mean the electric stove isn't on. AKA Electric stoves are much more tricksy than gas stoves.

- Some people still care what the neighbors will say.
- I am trying hard not to be one of those people.

- It is ridiculously easy to fall out of the 'loop,' and sometimes you don't even care.

- I am very suceptable to other people's speech patterns. Yes ma'am, I am.

- Sometimes a phone call is a lifeline.

- So is something as simple as a postcard.

- Even bad memories are important to share.
- And yet, sometimes keeping something to yourself is a true kindness.

- Make the effort - as much as you can, as often as you can.

- No one needs to watch the news 4 times a day. No one.

- I know that mugs are tougher and more accessible, but I miss the teacups. Drinking from a teacup makes the day that much more special.

- You do not need to be in the same room as the TV to 'watch' it.

- Having to depend upon people to do things for you, especially if you used to be able to do those things for yourself, does not get any easier, no matter your age.

- Asking for help is hard, especially when you have to keep asking: be a good advocate for yourself - and for others - remind people of what's necessary.

- Speak louder. Slower. And make sure it's worth repeating before you open your mouth.

- Even the most devout have doubts.

- Everybody needs somebody who can reach the top shelf.

- There's always going to be a to-do list. It's ok if it becomes a to-do later list.

- Everyone is susceptible to a little girl with ringlet curls, a big smile, and a million questions.

- It doesn't matter what the calendar says: If you're cold, turn on the heat. Even if you had the air conditioner on yesterday.

- There should always be a blanket and a pillow readily available.

- Drop ins are welcome, even if they've interrupted your nap. Or a good book. Try to remember how lonely you were before they dropped in.

- If you've willingly pre-paid your funeral expenses, but balk at getting an expensive, digital hearing aid that will greatly improve the quality of your life, your priorities need adjusting.

- Write things down as soon as you can, because you WILL forget the details.

- It's ok to be in the room by yourself. But be there.

- There's always going to be somebody else who wants to do it their way. Let them, sometimes. Other times, don't.

- Regrets for other people - for the things they've messed up or missed out on - can be stronger than any regrets you have for yourself.

- Even a good show gets stale quick, if you're watching the reruns three times a day.

- Having eclectic taste in music is a real bonus.
- So is a mastery of YouTube.

- When there's nothing good on, just shut the damn thing off.

- It would be nice if the UPS truck stopped here sometimes.

- Some stories will never get old - and some should never be repeated.

- There's always going to be something you don't know.