Medical Regimen

I am up to 22 pills everyday. 22 required pills. I can take as many additional pills for pain as I need, so sometimes I'm at 30. 22 - 30 required pills, and three vials of something that, when mixed with water, tastes like feet.


I take the pills 4 times a day, and they must be taken with food, or I wind up not being able to keep them down.

Some of them taste so bad that I have to trick myself into taking them - chew up my food, and then sneak the pill in right before I swallow. I don't know why it works, but it does.
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It's my opinion that the popular method of pill swallowing - putting the pill on your tongue first, then rinsing it down with your drink - makes no sense. If you put the pill on your tongue alone, unaccompanied, then you get the full vileness of it, and therefore want to spit it out. If you have to take your pills with a drink, put the drink in your mouth first, then pop the pill in. Some people say, "well then it's in there floating around": To them I say, who cares? You only have to worry about swallowing the drink, and it'll go down with it, automatically. At least that's how it works for me.

That was a bit of off-topic advice, free of charge.
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ANYways -

22 pills, three vials of feet, monthly (or bi-monthly) infusions, and 3 separate inhalers. That's my regimen.


And I a.b.s.o.l.u.t.e.l.y. wouldn't care- not a fig, not a lick, not a bit - about doing all of this, IF it was actually helping.

Maybe it is - maybe it's keeping me from getting worse, helping me to maintain at this level of functioning. I don't know.

But I do know that I got dressed today:

I went to the closet, picked out warm sweat pants and a t-shirt that's too tight, a zip up that doesn't exactly show me at my best and some fuzzy socks.

I put them all on, lathering baby lotion on skin that's unusually dry first, then maneuvering my way into my clothes.

I did all that, and then had to rest.

For 3 hours - motionless, with the heating pad on the sorest spots, staring blankly at the t.v.
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22 pills, three feet-vials, three inhalers, the monthly infusion, all for 17 minutes of functioning
followed by three hours of rest.

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And now I've used up another 20 minutes or so, typing this in bed, only semi-upright, one hand on the keyboard, the other swigging the feet-water.

But, I wouldn't mind all the pills, all the shots, all the trips to the doctors (all the phone calls I still haven't made),


if it would just work.

If they did what they were supposed to do.

If I could just feel better.

I'm just saying.