Saturday, May 22, 2010

Some things to keep us busy

Since I don't know when I'll be posting next, I've got a couple of random posts in the queue to share... Mostly stuff that's popped up in my Google Reader that I think you should be aware of. The first is the latest batch of MLIAs that have caught my attention:

I'm a student teacher for a kindergarten class at a local elementary school, and today the lesson plan was about honesty, so the head teacher asked one of our students, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Why do you think that his father didn't punish him?" The student replied, "Because George still had the axe in his hand." That was epic. MILA

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and giggle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. MLIA.

Today in class, my professor had stapled McDonalds applications to the tests of all the people who failed. MLIA.

Today we had silent reading time in my sophomore english class. Ten minutes it, I notice that nobody else was reading and the entire class was staring at me. I was then informed that when I read silently, I'm really reading out loud with accents, facial expressions, and different voices for each character. My teacher has decided that we will no longer have silent reading time, and I have been volunteered to host "story-time" for the first 30 minutes of each class. MLIA

In my Ecology class I sit in front of this guy whom never talks. ON this particular day he was staring at the fish tank. Then he looked up at me said said with a serious face. "you think i would get in trouble if I slapped the teacher with that fish?" MLIA.

Today, I was on a flight. One of the three flight attendents said before taking off, "Hello, I'm Cindy, I'll be one of your flight attendents today. The others serving you are my ex-husband, Steve, and his new wife, Becky. We are going to turn the lights off now because Steve looks so much better in the dark. Have a nice flight!" I could not stop laughing. MLIA.

Today I walked into a horrid break up, I was really upset for the girlfriend when the boyfriend said "Im dumping you because Im too good for you." But I couldnt stop smiling when she replied, "I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass." Whoever you are, I salute you. MLIA.

Today, I was in my American History class, and the teacher was auctioning donuts to prove a point. The bidding was up to sixteen dollars for a dozen when one guy yells "My eternal soul." To which the teacher responded, "I don't think you understand that I'm looking for something worth more than sixteen dollars." Not only is he now my favorite teacher, he also just earned a spot amongst my hall of fame of awesome people. MLIA

Today, I had to sell chocolate bars for my school club. Instead of calling them chocolate bars I called them Dementor Bars with the slogan, "Your best deference against Dementors!". I was the top seller. MLIA

Today in class we were watching the 6th Harry Potter movie when it came to the part where everyone raises there wands cuz Dumbledore died my whole class raised there pencils including the teacher who looked like she was going to cry and my best friend had the most serious face ever. i love my class MLIA

Today my mom was reading through my 13 year old sisters disclosure document for one of her classes. One part of the document asks parents to tell the teacher a little bit about their child. My mom proudly wrote, "Paisley believes she is preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse and spends her extra time building tunnels from our house to Costco, Wal-Mart, and Home Depot so she will be fully prepared." MLIA.

Last year, a girl I babysit was graduating from preschool. When up on stage, they asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, and with a smile on her face she told the whole audience she wanted to work at Mcdonald's. After the presentation was over, her mom asked her if that was really what she wanted to do and she replied in all seriousness "No, I really want to be a paleontologist but I just wanted to see the look on your face!" She was 3 at the time. I was proud. MLIA

Well, I hope those gave you some chuckles. I hope to be back soon, but enjoy the filler (entertaining filler! I promise!) in the meantime.


Terri said...

I hope you are recovering well!

Sue Jackson said...

Hilarious, as always!!!

Thanks for the much-needed laughs!