But still, it seems to fit my mood.
After about 17 minutes of sleep last night, I 'woke up' in a funk. I haven't showered in a week, and I'm feeling guilty for not letting the kiddos come today because I'm still trying to battle my way back from this latest flare. I'm having the kind of day where I just want to curl up in a ball and tell everyone to "GO AWAY!" Because it hurts to lie still and it hurts to move, it hurts to have clothes touch my skin or to lean against even the softest pillow. It hurts to think, or talk, or anything, and today, I'm just not up for pretending it doesn't.
I don't always feel like this, even when I feel this bad. Sometimes, most times, I just have to adopt as much of a game face/battle-through it attitude as I can. And I do - I do a lot: I play with, feed, teach the kids; I read books and write reviews; I organize photos or make scrapbook pages; I talk to my friends - IRL or online; I do research for one of the millions of things I or another family member need... I've adapted in so many ways to being sick, finding things I can do and be passionate about given the limitations I have. Playing to my new strengths, so to speak.
And even writing that has cheered me up a bit, because I have accomplished a lot. I do do a lot, it's just today - with the grey skies and my greasy hair - it doesn't really seem like it. So today's prescription is as follows:
- Take all meds (cuz sometimes, like an idiot, when I don't feel well I forget/forget on purpose just to be stubborn)
- Take a shower and then shower coma
- Eat something yummy
- Watch funny movies/read comfort reads
- Know that everybody gets bad moods, not just me (cuz it sometimes really feels like I am being so completely ungrateful & hateful)
- Try to get some actual sleep
- Wish everybody a happy Wednesday