Here it is November First, all over again. And for the first time in five years, I have given very little thought to participating in NaBloPoMo, where you agree to post at least one blog entry for every day of the month. I am seriously doubting my ability to complete the entire challenge, not because of something big and world changing, but because of a million different little things. I talked about it some in this post, already, but I'm still finding it difficult to put words to paper (or, more likely, computer screen) in a way that seems legible and laudable. I mean, I can just say random things for thirty days in a row, I'm sure, but I don't particularly want to do that: I think this blog and I are past the point of just posting to have a post up. (At least, I hope we are.)
No, I want what I say here to matter, and that's half the problem right there - it matters so much that it grows and grows in my mind until I can't write anything, because what can I say that's going to be new or different or interesting or worthwhile? And while I have tons of things I think it'd be great to write about, more often then not, they get all stopped up in my head together, and I spend an entire hour trying to untie them enough to type them out, only to wind up with a mess of nonsense that's definitely not publishable.
So I'm not making any promises on my ability to complete the month, but I am going to commit to sitting my butt down and trying to get the words to come out in a way that makes sense, for three reasons. First, I need to follow through with something - I feel like I'm letting too many bits and pieces of who I am slip through my fingers. Second, we all know that having all of this stuff log-jammed up in my brain is not doing me any good, and it'd be great to get some new perspectives on some of this stuff. And lastly, I always feel such a sense of pride and accomplishment when I complete NaBloPoMo, and I'd hate to either lose that feeling or break my streak.
I could use all the good feelings I can get, at this point. So I'm here to kick of November on the right foot, and cross my fingers that it goes as well as it can. Tomorrow we can talk about all the ways it is sucking so far, but for today, November: let's do this!