Monday, November 28, 2005

Ok, I had planned to post an update on here... but Thanksgiving turned out to be a bit more stressful than anticipated (althought things are calming down now, Thank Whoever), so I decided I could use a laugh instead. Since Christmas is both my favorite and most stressful time of the year (at least since I graduated and don't have to take finals anymore), laughs are exactly what I'm in the mood for right now.

Here's a couple of things that struck my funny bone today:

How to Confuse Your Roommate
My favorites on this list?

13 - Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."
This shouldn't be funny, and yet I can't stop chuckling

113 - When your roommate is typing, type on your keyboard in synchronization. I'm sorry, but I can totally see someone doing this. It's too funny

The fact that Dane Cook will be hosting SNL this week is certainly happy-making:

Dane Cook

The idea of marshmallows screaming, while severely traumatizing, is also very funny: Besides, I don't think it's that bad.

And a piece (or two) of wisdom to round out today's post:

Tuckle Rori seeks serenity (and does a much better job than I do) over Here

and with much thanks for introducing me to a new poem, I'll send you over to Half Changed World and some

Enjoy your last November Days! I hope to see you later in the week!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

A little creepy, I thought, but....

Seriously, what's up with the "Good or bad" part?

You Are Pumpkin Pie

Even when people are full - they make room for you.
Good or bad, your smell is most likely to arouse a man.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

A semi-guilty pleasure

A semi-guilty pleasure

Esquire magazine bills itself as “Man at his best.” While I don’t know about that, I certainly think it’s an example of a magazine at its best (except for the cologne inserts… they make me sick, but this is not limited to Esquire... why oh why do they have to put these in there??? Sorry, wrong post - Continue). Particularly their annual Genius Issue, which I have just finished reading. I learned some things, remembered others, and was entertained, informed and impressed, which is a lot to ask from one magazine (even if it doesn't include me in its target demographic - tsk.

Here’s some of what I got out of it:

New Information:
- I am not as smart as I would like to think I am (as evidenced by the “Hardest Quiz Ever” on p174).
- Graffiti can be amazing (Banksy) p198
- Fonts are fun (Fonts) p 206
- Sometimes there’s nothing better than a lime green RV (RTN) p 216
- Apparently, the toilet is not as good as it should be (Lotus-Leaf Toilet) p221
- Sometimes, the answers are simple (LifeStraw) p 235

Things I just needed to be reminded of:
- pharmaceutical companies are crappier than I thought … but someone’s trying to fix that (Non-profit Pharmaceutical company?) p222
- Wikipedia rocks (Go learn something random)
- So does A.J. Jacobs (He's a Know It All)
- Science is too hard for me (as if my sub-par grades in those classes hadn’t reinforced it enough, further proof -> I barely understood the very accessible articles on RNA, schizophrenia, engineering viruses, genetic codes or nuclear energy).
- I miss Sports Night. (Come BACK!!!)
- Felicity Huffman always makes me laugh (which is why I will sometimes flip over to Desperate Housewives on commercials).Dana Whitaker p116

- Contrary to what you see on the news, or even how you can feel most days, there really are people who care about the world and are trying to make it better (Check out the entire issue… there’s too much for a single link.)

Now go buy your own, so you can be a Genius too. 

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Songs to hate by

So there are these people in my family who, while they are technically related to me, I'd like to disown. They've behaved hideously in various ways & towards various people, for a number of years, and little hope for reconciliation. We don't talk to, or interact with any of them, if we can manage it. Personally, I've only broken my silence once in the past three years (when my aunt was trying to poison me by painting the back porch, and I asked her not to... she declined and I had to leave my house again, because she's a lunatic). But anyways, the point of sharing this tiny slice of my family insanity is that sadly, they still live upstairs from us.

The other day I was alone in my house, and the 17 year-old, at-least-as-crazy-and-dangerous-as-his-mother ex-cousin was upstairs by himself. (He's stopped going to school for whatever reason, so he's home everyday, playing video games loudly.) And it seemed like every six minutes or so, he came barreling down the stairs, (which happen to be right on the other side of my room) to check the front door for the mail. Our mailman doesn't seem to have any sort of regular delivery time -- sometimes it's as early as 10 a.m., others it's as late as 7 p.m. So there's no way to predict when it will come, and the only way to know if mail has come is to check the door. So, yes, if he wants to know if the mail came, he's got to come down and check.

Since my window looks out on the front door, I generally see or hear the mail come, but it isn't that big of a deal, because I'm not usually expecting anything either.

Well, crazy boy must've been expecting something very important (a truancy card addressed to his parents, perhaps)? Because he just kept racing down to check. Again and again and again. And he doesn't just walk down the stairs, like any normal person. No, he bombs down them... thump thump thump... And it sounds like he does that heel slide on the last few steps... you know, where you're too lazy to keep actually putting effort into walking, and you just flip flip down the last couple of steps? He does that, then bangs the door open and slams it closed again, even though all he really had to do was twitch aside the curtain and look out the window.

After about the 7th time he did this, I was starting to get really annoyed. It wasn't only the issue of the considerable noise, it was just his presence. Just knowing that they shouldn't be upstairs in the first place, his repeated interruptions kept reminding me of all the horrible things that they subject us all to, all of the tension and hatred that boils constantly around here. It was making me more frustrated and upset about this situation that just won't end.

But I know that getting upset over this crap isn't really helpful, and I really wanted not to let it bother me so much. Instead, I decided to have a bit of fun... It so happened that I was downloading songs onto my new laptop at the time, and I decided to find some songs wholly appropriate for our situation and then play them loudly each time loser boy came back.

So the next time he came roaring down the stairs it was to the tune of "You could drive a person crazy" sung by the lovely Bernadette Peters. After that came a little "Superfreak" chorus. Next mail check? "Less of You (is more)."

Not only did I build a fabulous music library on my computer (many of these songs/artists were new to me), I got out some of my pent up frustrations at this God-awful situation, and nobody really got hurt (ok... a few of the songs are a bit harsh... but he's clueless, so it isn't like he knew... and besides... harsh or not, they're still on point).


Here's what else I picked up:
"You don't own me"(from the First Wives Club)
"Why don't you do right" (made popular by Jessica Rabbit)
"What is this feeling (loathing)?" (From the musical Wicked)
"Wake me up before you go go" (only because I want to see it actually happen)
"Tomorrow belongs to me" (In other words, you're not in it.)
"Time to say good-bye" (Yup... take the hint)
"These boots are made for walking" (So figure out how they work, and give 'em a try)
"Something stupid" (Yeah... it's you.)
"So long, farewell" (Could I be any clearer?)
"Schadenfraude" (From Avenue Q: has a very clear definition of shadenfraude itself, and illustrates many of the reasons I don't feel too guilty about this list)
"Punch in the nose"
"No one mourns the wicked"
(Can you guess who I'm talking about here?)
"Last chance to lose your keys" (Isn't this just the greatest song name ever?)
"Time to change"
"I'll be glad when you're dead you rascal you
" (Well, dead is certainly unnecessary... just... not HERE would suffice).
"I wonder what became of you" (Because I remember when you used to have morals, and, gee, I don't know... care about the people you claimed to love)
"Hit the road jack
"Leave (get out)
"Movin on
"Leave right now
"Everything you know is wrong"
(and let me underline the word everything)
"One way ticket"
"Na na na na good-bye"
"Get lost"
"The theme to the good, the bad, & the ugly
" (Guess which is which)


Wow, how's that for venting? And airing family problems in public? This post is the reason I haven't told my family that I have a blog. Not that anybody down here would do anything but chuckle about my rather odd manner of protesting, but still.

The list is still open for updating, so if you think of anything that should have been included, I'd love to hear about it. Because one of them will come down those stairs at least once everyday, and, even if the computer isn't on, I can still get a smile out of which song my mind chooses to replay at that moment.

Friday, November 04, 2005

A Movie and A Book... Take a Look

Based on the recommendations of some web-friends, I've just read and finished Outlander by Diana Gabaldron. It was excellent! I was so glad to have few distractions yesterday (most of my family was off on their own) because I didn't want to have to throw anything at them if they tried to interrupt my reading.

The book is kind of hard to catagorize ---> But I can tell you that it had a bit of everything I usually look for in a good book: a compelling story, witty dialogue, and strong conflicts (wow, were there some strong conflicts!)

She managed to weave quite a bit of historical fact into her story as well. It's probably not for everybody - the length of the book (over 500 pages, I pretty sure... I already sent it back to the library, so I can't be sure) somehow puts some people off, but it was worth it.

And, since it was the first in a series, I'm doubly excited b/c the next books are already out ... now I only have to wait a bit for my library to process the requests.


I also got to watch Batman Begins recently.

First, let me just explain my love for Christian Bale: well, I can't explain it. But it started with Newsies - a musical (2 points) about a significant social issue (another point there) with cute boys (which, at the age of 13, translated into about 100 extra bonus points). If you haven't seen Newsies, and any of these things add points to your list, go out and rent it right now. The songs are very catchy, and it may be very "Disney," but that doesn't really work against it in my book. I loved Swing Kids as well, although not as much. He played Laurie to a tee in the 90's remake of Little Women (which is one of my all time favorite books). I squirmed through American Psycho, which isn't really my kind of movie, generally. And that one with the dragons was pretty good too. (Reign of Fire - I also love IMDB, but that's a post for another day). And then there's the lisp... why does that work for him instead of against? I don't know, but it does.

So the fact that he was the lead in the new Batman didn't escape my notice. Plus, I've liked all the other Batman movies - some more than others, but I'm certainly not a comic book purist or movie snob. Although it seems that everyone else paid a lot more attention to George Clooney's nipples in the last version of Batman than I did, I didn't think it was horrible. But this one was much better - it had a better story, it flowed better, it was darker and more intersting. And Michael Caine's Alfred was spectacular.

I didn't really understand how it worked (continuity-wise) with the backstory we'd seen in the first Batman movie (Michael Keaton "I'm Batman/Jack Nicholson as the Joker), but that's not a huge deal. I thought it was very good: I'm glad to see, in Christian Bales IMDB page, a listing for untitled Batman Begins Sequel.

So, if you're looking for some low key things to do this weekend, there's a couple of suggestions.I'll be trying to finish up my brother's birthday present, reading a couple of new books, and trying to help my sister figure out the Weight Watcher's Points system.