Have a doctor's appointment later today - must discuss list includes: My inability to get him on the phone &/or have him return my messages; WTF is happening here? I have no idea what the next steps in my treatment plan are supposed to be (mostly b/c he keeps changing his mind about which direction he thinks we should go in); & when will my next IVIG be, so I can plan around it.
I love this doctor - he is kind, listens well, & genuinely tries to help - but we are going on three years together, and I have made very little progress. I know there is no cure/ accepted treatment, but there's got to be something.
Also? I turn into a huge wuss at the doctor's office. It's embarrassing, but I have such a hard time just sticking up for myself when I am there. I go in with these mega-lists, but somehow he starts talking about something else, and by the time I think to get back to what I wanted to talk about, he's ready to move on. MUST BE MORE ASSERTIVE.
We have ants (told you this was random). Those little tiny ones, that are really not dangerous, but highly frustrating and annoying. Mum is trying the non-smelly spray, but if this doesn't work, I might have to pack up for a couple of days, go visiting. Am not especially looking forward to this. I had to pack up right before my birthday last year, too, and missed my shot at any festivities.
Speaking of - My birthday is rolling around again. On Monday. I'm supposed to decide whether or not I want to do anything for it. Telling people to leave any presents they may wish to give outside my door & go away is probably not an acceptable scenario.
I'm of two minds here -
On the one hand (maybe I'm of two hands? But aren't you always of two hands? IDK what is up with me today either), it is my birthday and I am still sick. This will be the 11th birthday since I've been sick. I missed out on the big Sweet 16 thing; never went out drinking on my 21st; haven't yet managed to get the energy/wellness level necessary to take the whole gambling trip my Mum & sisters promised me for my 25th. Big hooplas are beyond me. And even semi-small hooplas have huge repercussions: I don't want to be 'paying' physically for this one day with the next three weeks.
On the other - it is my birthday. And I am fed up of having to miss out on things b/c I'm sick. Maybe I'll have people come over and, claiming birthday privilege, hog the baby all day, or force people to play board games.
Not too much. Must clean my room soon, as it is driving me insane. The clutter is multiplying and will soon attempt to swallow me, I am sure. (It's not actually too bad - it's mostly that I have a lot of projects to finish & no energy to do so.)
And that's all I know today.
Hope your Hump Day passes quickly & happily!