Some randomness

Have a doctor's appointment later today - must discuss list includes: My inability to get him on the phone &/or have him return my messages; WTF is happening here? I have no idea what the next steps in my treatment plan are supposed to be (mostly b/c he keeps changing his mind about which direction he thinks we should go in); & when will my next IVIG be, so I can plan around it.

I love this doctor - he is kind, listens well, & genuinely tries to help - but we are going on three years together, and I have made very little progress. I know there is no cure/ accepted treatment, but there's got to be something.

Also? I turn into a huge wuss at the doctor's office. It's embarrassing, but I have such a hard time just sticking up for myself when I am there. I go in with these mega-lists, but somehow he starts talking about something else, and by the time I think to get back to what I wanted to talk about, he's ready to move on. MUST BE MORE ASSERTIVE.
------------------------------------------

We have ants (told you this was random). Those little tiny ones, that are really not dangerous, but highly frustrating and annoying. Mum is trying the non-smelly spray, but if this doesn't work, I might have to pack up for a couple of days, go visiting. Am not especially looking forward to this. I had to pack up right before my birthday last year, too, and missed my shot at any festivities.

-----------------------

Speaking of - My birthday is rolling around again. On Monday. I'm supposed to decide whether or not I want to do anything for it. Telling people to leave any presents they may wish to give outside my door & go away is probably not an acceptable scenario.

I'm of two minds here -

On the one hand (maybe I'm of two hands? But aren't you always of two hands? IDK what is up with me today either), it is my birthday and I am still sick. This will be the 11th birthday since I've been sick. I missed out on the big Sweet 16 thing; never went out drinking on my 21st; haven't yet managed to get the energy/wellness level necessary to take the whole gambling trip my Mum & sisters promised me for my 25th. Big hooplas are beyond me. And even semi-small hooplas have huge repercussions: I don't want to be 'paying' physically for this one day with the next three weeks.

On the other - it is my birthday. And I am fed up of having to miss out on things b/c I'm sick. Maybe I'll have people come over and, claiming birthday privilege, hog the baby all day, or force people to play board games.

Hmm...
------------------------------------

Vat else?

Not too much. Must clean my room soon, as it is driving me insane. The clutter is multiplying and will soon attempt to swallow me, I am sure. (It's not actually too bad - it's mostly that I have a lot of projects to finish & no energy to do so.)

And that's all I know today.

Hope your Hump Day passes quickly & happily!