Since I don't know when I'll be posting next, I've got a couple of random posts in the queue to share... Mostly stuff that's popped up in my Google Reader that I think you should be aware of. The first is the latest batch of MLIAs that have caught my attention:
I'm a student teacher for a kindergarten class at a local elementary school, and today the lesson plan was about honesty, so the head teacher asked one of our students, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Why do you think that his father didn't punish him?" The student replied, "Because George still had the axe in his hand." That was epic. MILA
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and giggle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. MLIA.
Today in class, my professor had stapled McDonalds applications to the tests of all the people who failed. MLIA.
Today we had silent reading time in my sophomore english class. Ten minutes it, I notice that nobody else was reading and the entire class was staring at me. I was then informed that when I read silently, I'm really reading out loud with accents, facial expressions, and different voices for each character. My teacher has decided that we will no longer have silent reading time, and I have been volunteered to host "story-time" for the first 30 minutes of each class. MLIA
In my Ecology class I sit in front of this guy whom never talks. ON this particular day he was staring at the fish tank. Then he looked up at me said said with a serious face. "you think i would get in trouble if I slapped the teacher with that fish?" MLIA.
Today, I was on a flight. One of the three flight attendents said before taking off, "Hello, I'm Cindy, I'll be one of your flight attendents today. The others serving you are my ex-husband, Steve, and his new wife, Becky. We are going to turn the lights off now because Steve looks so much better in the dark. Have a nice flight!" I could not stop laughing. MLIA.
Today I walked into a horrid break up, I was really upset for the girlfriend when the boyfriend said "Im dumping you because Im too good for you." But I couldnt stop smiling when she replied, "I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass." Whoever you are, I salute you. MLIA.
Today, I was in my American History class, and the teacher was auctioning donuts to prove a point. The bidding was up to sixteen dollars for a dozen when one guy yells "My eternal soul." To which the teacher responded, "I don't think you understand that I'm looking for something worth more than sixteen dollars." Not only is he now my favorite teacher, he also just earned a spot amongst my hall of fame of awesome people. MLIA
Today, I had to sell chocolate bars for my school club. Instead of calling them chocolate bars I called them Dementor Bars with the slogan, "Your best deference against Dementors!". I was the top seller. MLIA
Today in class we were watching the 6th Harry Potter movie when it came to the part where everyone raises there wands cuz Dumbledore died my whole class raised there pencils including the teacher who looked like she was going to cry and my best friend had the most serious face ever. i love my class MLIA
Today my mom was reading through my 13 year old sisters disclosure document for one of her classes. One part of the document asks parents to tell the teacher a little bit about their child. My mom proudly wrote, "Paisley believes she is preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse and spends her extra time building tunnels from our house to Costco, Wal-Mart, and Home Depot so she will be fully prepared." MLIA.
Last year, a girl I babysit was graduating from preschool. When up on stage, they asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, and with a smile on her face she told the whole audience she wanted to work at Mcdonald's. After the presentation was over, her mom asked her if that was really what she wanted to do and she replied in all seriousness "No, I really want to be a paleontologist but I just wanted to see the look on your face!" She was 3 at the time. I was proud. MLIA
Well, I hope those gave you some chuckles. I hope to be back soon, but enjoy the filler (entertaining filler! I promise!) in the meantime.
Showing posts with label MLIA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MLIA. Show all posts
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Friday, November 13, 2009
Average Lives
All of these amusing little anecdotes are recent postings from My Life Is Average (which I have been calling "My Life Is Awesome", simply because it seems much more apt). If you haven't been over there, you should check it out - these are just a few of my favorites lately, but there are about 50 new posts a day, and there's usually 2 or 3 that give me a little chuckle. Enjoy yourself flipping through them... but beware: Time Suck Major!
Today, my liitle sister was playing barbies in her room. When I walked by all I heard was "First, my ninja barbies, we are going to destroy Hannah Montana and her awful music, and then we will take over the world!" I don't know whether to be terrified or extremely proud. MLIA
Today, while in my mother's 2nd grade classroom, I was looking at the bulletin board. It read "Believe in Yourself" and each student had to write one goal they wanted to achieve down. While most kids wrote "i can run faster" or "i can reach my reading goal", one child put down "i can hug a penguin". MLIA
Today, my sister and I turned our yard into the Godric's Hollow cemetery. We made headstones for all the important characters that had died in the Harry Potter books and played music from the Harry Potter soundtracks. Tonight, when I opened my front door to greet some trick-or-treaters, a young Harry Potter was weeping by his parents' gravestone in my front yard. I gave him the rest of the candy. MLIA
Today I dressed up as Gandalf and went to work. I was late. When I walked in my boss said "you're late", to which I replied "a wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." I didn't get in trouble. MLIA.
Today, I was in a large corn maze and began to be bored. To change this, I decided to yell "Marco!" at the top of my lungs. Off in the distance, I heard a single person yell "Polo!" back equally as loud. We continued for an hour and a half until I found her. We now have a date set up for tomorrow. MLIA.
Today, I was was at work (I teach kindergarten) when I noticed a little boy trying to steal a girl's barbie doll. I was about to go break up the argument when the girl yelled "Swiper no swiping!" the boy yelled "OH MAN" and walked off. Thank you Dora for teaching kids proper self defense.
Today, I was walking around school and I noticed a blue paw print taped to the wall. Intrigued, I removed it and looked around for the culprit. A student in a large blue dog costume peered around the corner, put a finger to his lips and promptly disappeared. I have never been more confused and excited in my life. MLIA
Today, it was our Year 12 Assembly, where everyone dresses up and we run the assembly ourselves for the rest of the school. One of my friends dressed up as the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland, and during the Principal's speech to us, he yelled out "CHANGE PLACES!!!" 1500 students got up and ran to a different seat, and the Principal continued with his speech and acted nothing happened. MLIA
Today, I realized that the Clapper does not only respond to clapping, it also responds to any exceptionally loud noise. It may be a bit noisy around here, now, but lights come on when I scream 'Lumos!' and that's all that matters. MLIA
Today, during SSR (silent sustained reading), I pulled out a book by Dr. Suess and began to read. Apparently the cute guy next to me was reading over my shoulder, because at the end of the book, he sighed and said to me, "I love happy endings." I'm in love. MLIA
Today, my friends and I were walking down the hall in a straight line across when one of my friends stopped and rearranged the order we were walking in. I didn't realize what he was doing until I noticed that our shirts were now in rainbow order. We're best friends for this reason. MLIA.
These are SO my people.
Today, my liitle sister was playing barbies in her room. When I walked by all I heard was "First, my ninja barbies, we are going to destroy Hannah Montana and her awful music, and then we will take over the world!" I don't know whether to be terrified or extremely proud. MLIA
Today, while in my mother's 2nd grade classroom, I was looking at the bulletin board. It read "Believe in Yourself" and each student had to write one goal they wanted to achieve down. While most kids wrote "i can run faster" or "i can reach my reading goal", one child put down "i can hug a penguin". MLIA
Today, my sister and I turned our yard into the Godric's Hollow cemetery. We made headstones for all the important characters that had died in the Harry Potter books and played music from the Harry Potter soundtracks. Tonight, when I opened my front door to greet some trick-or-treaters, a young Harry Potter was weeping by his parents' gravestone in my front yard. I gave him the rest of the candy. MLIA
Today I dressed up as Gandalf and went to work. I was late. When I walked in my boss said "you're late", to which I replied "a wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." I didn't get in trouble. MLIA.
Today, I was in a large corn maze and began to be bored. To change this, I decided to yell "Marco!" at the top of my lungs. Off in the distance, I heard a single person yell "Polo!" back equally as loud. We continued for an hour and a half until I found her. We now have a date set up for tomorrow. MLIA.
Today, I was was at work (I teach kindergarten) when I noticed a little boy trying to steal a girl's barbie doll. I was about to go break up the argument when the girl yelled "Swiper no swiping!" the boy yelled "OH MAN" and walked off. Thank you Dora for teaching kids proper self defense.
Today, I was walking around school and I noticed a blue paw print taped to the wall. Intrigued, I removed it and looked around for the culprit. A student in a large blue dog costume peered around the corner, put a finger to his lips and promptly disappeared. I have never been more confused and excited in my life. MLIA
Today, it was our Year 12 Assembly, where everyone dresses up and we run the assembly ourselves for the rest of the school. One of my friends dressed up as the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland, and during the Principal's speech to us, he yelled out "CHANGE PLACES!!!" 1500 students got up and ran to a different seat, and the Principal continued with his speech and acted nothing happened. MLIA
Today, I realized that the Clapper does not only respond to clapping, it also responds to any exceptionally loud noise. It may be a bit noisy around here, now, but lights come on when I scream 'Lumos!' and that's all that matters. MLIA
Today, during SSR (silent sustained reading), I pulled out a book by Dr. Suess and began to read. Apparently the cute guy next to me was reading over my shoulder, because at the end of the book, he sighed and said to me, "I love happy endings." I'm in love. MLIA
Today, my friends and I were walking down the hall in a straight line across when one of my friends stopped and rearranged the order we were walking in. I didn't realize what he was doing until I noticed that our shirts were now in rainbow order. We're best friends for this reason. MLIA.
These are SO my people.
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