Hell-o Every-bod-eeeeeeee!

The title for today's post comes from the always lovable, furry old Grover, who I feel is too often being overlooked for the more effervescent Elmo. Not that I have a problem with Elmo, just that I think Grover is underappreciated. His fine work in this book alone should endear him to us all. Trust me, if you've got an under 8 year-old, this is a Fabulous book.


So, I got a little linkage for you:

For you April Fools out there, here's a look at other people who looked to see if gullible was still in the dictionary.


Also of interest, if you happen to be on Weight Watchers and can only enjoy such things vicariously, check out this cupcake heaven.

Oh, by the way, Blogger. CUPCAKE IS A WORD. LEARN IT. LEARN IT NOW!!!!

(I should not be surprised: also not words? "Elmo", "Blogger", and "Every-bod-eeeeee". Ok, I'll give them that last one. )

Off the top of my head....

Twice recently, someone has asked me about car commercials. Here's the thing I've realized: even though I've seen the commercials a million times, I will never remember the names of the cars they are about. I just don't care about that sort of thing. Cars are of zero interest to me, so while I may notice the "Stupid Fairy" aspect of the commercial, the name of the car (which is supposedly the entire point of the commercial)will always escape me.

Quoteworthy Saturday

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."
Mitch Hedberg, Mitch All Together
American comedian (1968 - 2005)

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Me: I need a haircut: my hair is getting so long."
Youngest Nephew(age 5("and3/4!")): Oh good, then you can cut out all those silver ones!"

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Riddle me this, Batman

Is there some sort of drawer shortage I am unaware of?

Drawers: plain old, bureau drawers.

You know, the kind you put your socks in?

Sister #2 put out a chest of drawers yesterday, as she is doing some changing around of her room. It was a perfectly nice chest of drawers - no scratches or anything: She only got rid of it for 2 reasons. First, it was from her ex-fiance's family. Second, there is zero storage space left in our basement. So she put it behind the hedges of our front yard, closer to the curb for trash night. And, perhaps, in the hopes that someone would come along and claim it before then.

That was Sunday.

Yesterday a young man came to the door and asked if it was trash. I said "sure, help yourself." He pulled out his cell phone, talked for a while, and then drove away with nothing. About 11:30 last night, I heard voices in the yard, and looked out the window to see that the young man was back with a big white van. Hooray, I thought... Now we won't have to worry about moving it out to the sidewalk & calling the city for pickup.

But when I checked this morning?

The shell of the piece was still there. All 9 drawers were missing.

Internet Peoples: What's up with that? What do you do with 9 drawers?

I couldn't really think of anything at all.

Picture pages, picture pages, come and get your picture pages....

And, I'm totally the only one who knows what the hellthat is, but big deal :O)

So, I feel like I am skimping on pictures lately, and this is odd. Odd because I have begun the monumental project of scanning EVERY FRICKIN picture in our house into the computer, and onto disks. Just in case. (In case what? I don't know. And it isn't as if I was in the middle of 64 other monumental projects either. I'm such a dope.)

N-E ways....

So, the question becomes, how to show you pictures without actually showing any pictures. Enter the Blooper Book

You know all those really bad pictures that (normal) people usually throw out? Yeah, I don't do that: I file them. I display them. I find them intriguing, and often spend time trying to decipher just what the hell is going on in them. Yes, I realize I am strange. Deal.

So... Voila! Some pictures:

Here's Youngest Sis & Youngest Nephew. I really like the silhouette, but everybody else thinks I'm crazy.

Here's a classic (circa 1960 something) from the ever popular "Finger-in-the-way" genre:



Yeah, I can't get this one to rotate onto it's side, but, this is Sis #2 with Youngest Nephew - Tickle Torture.

And, lastly, just in case you wanted to know, here's me: (sort of)




A couple of pictures to liven things up a bit.

Now I've got to go and get this song out of my head (... time to grab your crayons and your pen-cils)

Pass it on over, please

My Grandmother has a unique view of the world. We do not usually agree on things... I often find myself rolling my eyes at what she calls her "old-fashioned" ideas. (To me, there is a difference between a traditional viewpoint and a racist one, but she seems to think they are synonymous).

She also has a lot of sayings that drive me crazy, mostly because they are meaningless - "A little bit of this, a little bit of that, a whole lot of nothing" is the current front runner, followed closely by the admonishment to "Never get old" (because the alternative is so appealing?). I know that when she is no longer with us that I will miss these little gems, but right now they drive me nuts.

However, one of her sayings that I am totally sympatico with is

"Anybody who buys that should have their money taken away from them."

I'll even take it a step further - Not only should their money be taken away from them, there should be a requirement (maybe even a law), that it should be given to me.



I'm sorry, but is there anyone who actually needs

"Gold Plated Cuticle Nippers?"


How about a

"Diamond Nail File?"


If you have this kind of money to waste on these kind of items, may I recommend a nice charity instead? (Or, failing that, personal contributions to the "Never That Easy" fund? )

Coming Up... Our second "Am I the Only One...?"

So... people, am I the only one who things that t.v. shows need to stop it with all the "coming up" stuff?

I mean, the show is only however long (an hour, a half hour, whatever): do I really need the previews for what's coming after the commercial break? If I'm not into the show already, I'm not going to stick around for after the commercial, no matter what you show me. And if I am into the show, you are ruining what comes next!

Personally, I'm getting a bit frustrated with all these previews: the American Inventor show I'm watching right now has just shown yet another preview for what happens after the break. I'm enjoying the show (it's a bit weird, but it's new and different, and some of these people have really good ideas), but if they've already shown me what's going to happen next: why bother to keep watching?

Other repeat offenders include Dr.Phil (who I have mostly stopped watching anyways, because it seems like he gave all his advice during the first season), Project Runway (note to producers for next season: STOP DOING THIS), the news (Oh, my goodness, newspeople - just tell me the news in the order you're going to tell it and stop hinting at what comes later!) and all those E-Access-Entertainment-Hollywood tabloid shows (who I've noticed go so far as to say "Coming up at 7:53" or "Coming up in 7 minutes", as if it were a piece of vital information that I need to know E_X_A_C_T_L_Y when it will be shown).

I'm pretty sure these "coming up"s are called teasers, but I think a better name would be annoyers. For me, they accomplish the exact opposite of what they are intended to do - they only make me want to change the channel.

So tell me people - Am I the Only One?

Bagpipes

I live across the street from a church, and am a silent witness to some of the happiest - and some of the saddest - days of people’s lives. They do not see me, usually, peeking through the blinds of my room to scope out the bridesmaid’s dresses, to watch the stoic procession behind the casket. This witnessing affects me in ways it is hard to describe.

Today there is, as every so often happens, a bagpipe player playing for the funeral across the way. I do not understand bagpipes – they seem like the only instrument that is made to ruin good music. I most especially do not understand bagpipes at weddings. The screeching tones do not enhance any song, at least not that I have ever heard. And I cannot seem to hear the difference between a “good” bagpipe player and a “bad” one.

But the sound is plaintive and wailing and utterly fitting for grief.

Bagpipes must have been specifically made for funerals - the notes hang in the air and rend my heart. I dare not look across the street, in fear that the pain and loss they are feeling will further infect me. It is hard enough, sometimes, just to hear the music.

I say a silent prayer when I hear it – in sympathy, with empathy, for the poor family that is standing, suffering, trudging through this awful mass, and in gratitude for myself, that it is not me who is suffering so. At least not today.

Creativity = not so much

I'm still trying to get back on track after this last flare, so my brain cells aren't exactly fully functioning yet. Which is why I am glad that I have stockpiled a few topics that need very little extra explanation. For example, today's post:

Did you know where the name of my blog came from? Not the first name, which I apparently hijacked from the very nice Amy, but the current "Never that Easy?" Well, I'm so glad you asked. It's actually from a song, originally from a musical revue called Closer than Ever. I've never seen the show (actually, the only show I've ever seen live is A Chorus Line, about 14 years ago), but thanks to Standing Room Only (which I've raved about here), I've got a pretty extensive knowledge of musical theatre. Although I've always loved musicals, now I've heard a much wider variety of them. So, here's the lyrics to the excellent song I've taken my title from. Also, a link at the end where you can hear an excerpt, if you so choose.

Oh, and just, before I forget again, Mel you're welcome for the linkage... I hope you'll come back & read me... it gets better, I promise!


It's Never That Easy / I've been Here Before
WOMAN 1
YOU JUST MET HIM, YES, I KNOW
THIS IS LASTING, THIS WILL GROW
BUT OH, IT'S NEVER THAT EASY
BELIEVE ME, IT ISN'T AT ALL

YOU ARE STARSTRUCK, SO WAS I
I WOULD LOVE HIM, TILL I DIE
BUT OH, IT'S NEVER THAT EASY
MY DARLING, NOT EASY AT ALL

ALL YOUR LIFE YOU'LL BE WITH HIM
THINK OF THAT, THINK IT THROUGH
HE MAY CHASE SOME CRAZY WHIM
WHEN HE DOES, YOU'LL GO TOO

AND YOU'LL LOSE HIM NOW AND THEN
BUT EACH MORNING START AGAIN
AND OH, SOME DAYS YOU'LL BE HAPPY
BUT IT WON'T BE EASY
IT'S NEVER THAT EASY
YOU THINK SO, BUT NO
OH NO, I KNOW
IT ISN'T AT ALL.

WOMAN 2
THE MAN SAYS THINGS HE NEEDS TO SAY
TURNS TO SMILE AS HE STANDS AT MY DOOR
AND THEN I SEE HIS EYES ARE GREY
OH GOD I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE

TO WANT HIM MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL
THEN WE TALK AND OUT HIS FEELINGS POUR
INSIDE ALL MY DEFENCES FALL
OH YES I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE

THE MAN'S ALL WRONG
THAT'S ALL THAT'S TRUE
AND WHAT IS WORSE
THIS TIME GOOD GOD HE'S TWENTY-TWO
AND SINCE IT'S WRONG, BEFORE WE START
WHY SHOULD I RUSH TO PROVE THAT I CAN BREAK MY HEART ALL OVER?
THE MAN LEAVES AND I'M ON MY OWN
I SIT HERE AND SIMPLY WATCH THE DOOR
AND TELL MYSELF I'M FINE ALONE
OH YES, I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE
OH YES, I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE

WOMAN 2 WOMAN 1
THE MAN'S ALL WRONG BUT OH
THAT'S ALL THAT'S TRUE IT'S NEVER THAT EASY
AND WHAT IS WORSE BELIEVE ME
THIS TIME, GOOD GOD,
HE'S TWENTY-TWO IT ISN'T AT ALL
AND SINCE IT'S WRONG HE MAY CHASE
BEFORE WE START SOME CRAZY WHIM
WHY SHOULD I RUSH LET HIM GO
TO PROVE OR HE'LL
THAT I CAN BREAK MY HEART ALL OVER BREAK YOUR HEART

THE MAN LEAVES AND I'M ON MY OWN I'M FINE ALONE WITHOUT HIM
I SIT HERE AND SIMPLY WATCH THE DOOR AND YOU'LL MISS HIM NOW AND THEN
THEN TELL MYSELF I'M FINE ALONE I'M FINE ALONE

OH YES I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE OH YES I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE
BUT IT WON'T BE EASY
SOME DAYS YOU'LL BE HAPPY
NO NEVER THAT EASY
BUT IT WON'T BE EASY
YOU THINK SO BUT NO
OH, NO

BOTH
I KNOW
I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE

Closer Than Ever CD

Movies

So I've been brewing a post about the difference between watching a movie in a theater and watching it at home, but it's not done yet, so instead, I've got linkage for you today.


I've been watching trailers online this morning (and, apparently, afternoon, since it's 1:00 already). I don't know why I bother, as I haven't been to the movie theater to see a movie since the first Harry Potter came out (2001: thanks IMDB), but there seem to be a lot of interesting things coming out this year.

Of course, there's X-Men 3, whose trailer I saw on TV yesterday and was forced to find it again online this morning in order to figure out what Jean Grey was saying at the end. ("Kill Me" in case you cared). I loved the first two, and am already adding this to my Netflix Queue, even though it's not even in the theater yet. Just so I won't forget.

So X-Men 3 started it, but there were a bunch of other things I want to see now too:

Since the success of Chicago a few years back, musicals are popular again. I am a big fan of this trend, since the musicals of Hollywood's Golden age are among my favorite movies of all time. So a second crop of musicals is only fab-u-lous in my opinion. The ones I saw trailers for included

Dreamgirls - "And I am Telling You," sung by Jennifer Holliday was the only thing on the trailer, but it was enough for me. I don't know about the cast, but, as I wasn't even alive when the show was on Broadway, I'd love to see the storyline to go with the songs I know.

Idelwild - Roaring Twenties with an Outkast beat? Something to see, I'm sure.

Romance & Cigarettes Aside from the all-star cast and the interesting storyline, the trailer made it seem like the musical numbers were Blues Brothers or Moulin Rouge style: pop music of different eras all jumbled into the storyline.

In the Guilty Pleasures category were:

Just My Luck Guilty b/c it looks just too much like every other Lindsay Lohan movie, and yet I still thought "I'd see that."


Poseidon Because I so love the original and all its 70's disaster movie splendor (and hated that crappy TV version they did last fall).

In the Movies My Nephew will want to see (and I wouldn't cry at having to sit through)category:

RV

Happy Feet Isn't the penguin just too cute?

And, finally, in the why haven't I heard more about these category:

Catch & Release Cast include Jennifer Garner & Kevin Smith... and the trailer looked different (good different, as in, "I haven't seen this movie 72 different ways" different)

Lonesome Jim Well, this is an "independent" movie, so that's why we haven't heard anything about it. But it looks good.

Click I'm pretty sure the only reason we haven't heard anything about this yet is that it's not out till June. Adam Sandler is hit or miss with me (hit - Big Daddy, Spanglish; miss -Punch Drunk Love, the Waterboy), but this looks promising.


So that's what I've been doing all day. (I've got a PET Scan manana and am trying to take it easy so as not to cause a huge flare again.) How bout you guys... up to anything interesting?

I've got flare (yes, I know it's spelled wrong)

And that's because it's not the good kind of flair. I think we all know I'm running pretty low on that kind of flair... well, maybe you don't since you can't see me, but anyone in my actual life would laugh hysterically at the mere suggestion that I have style of anykind. Fashion is so not my forte.

But Flare? Sadly, I've got flare to spare.

I'm talking Fibro Flare, my friends. As in flare-up of symptoms.

I know I haven't really gone into depth here about my illnesses, (partly because I don't want this to be just a "sick blog" and partly because I haven't figured out exactly what to say), but since I've been out of commission for about a week due to a major flare, and have probably lost any readers who were coming here with any regularity anyways, I figured what the hell.

So - What the heck am I talking about?

Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain condition that has a wide variety of symptoms, and, sadly, no cure or regularlized treatment plan. Basically what this means is that there are about a million and a half ideas about what causes it or how it could be treated, but, right now, no proven cause or effect or cure.

And I've got it. (And a couple of other particularly nasty things. But let's focus on Fibro for today, shall we?)

When you're dealing with a chronic illness, you have a baseline - a level of "normal" that you exist at in whatever way you can. Over the course of my illness (12 years this October ... crap), I've had a lot of different baselines. I've been completely bedridden, able to go to school full days, able to go to school half days, hospitalized, able to attend college full-time, able to attend part-time, etc.

For the past year or so, my overall baseline had been improving: I've been moving up from almost complete bedrest to a semi-mobile lifestyle. I have to use a wheelchair to get around, can't stay up right for too long (about 2 hours is my max), but I was able to participate in some of the more minor triumphs of everyday life: getting dressed, eating at the table instead of from bed, baking a pie at Thanksgiving.

It hasn't been exactly fabulous, but it was a bit better than I had been. I've been coping - And then last week.... Total crash.


I mean I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I couldn't... anything.

Pain was my whole existence for about 5 days.

And I haven't exaggerated that in anyway. I mean exactly that: for 5 days, nothing existed besides pain. Every lymph node in my body was swollen, every muscle ached as if I'd stretched them to their breaking points. My face was just a ball of fire - cheeks flushed such a bright red that my mother could see in the dark.


And I have no idea what set it off this time: as usual, I hadn't done anything out of the ordinary. But I've managed to pick up yet another infection somehow (I think from the Doc's office, since that's the only place I ever go), and it ran me over.

The only plus has been how quickly I've improved: I've had severe flares last for months, and this one is already improving. (as evidenced by the fact that I had enough focus and energy to turn on the computer and hammer this out today - even if it did take me more than 5 hours to finish it).

I've heard that the blogosphere is a fickle place - that you can lose your readers if you don't post often and regularly. I suppose that could be true, and I'd rather not find out, but I can honestly say the word blog didn't even occur to me until yesterday - a good week after my last post. Oh well. I'll just keep hoping that people will wind up here and be interested enough to stick it out with me.

I'm feeling a bit better, as I said, so I doubt it'll be too long before the next post, but if you've got some time, you might want to check out these sites about fibromyalgia.

FM Aware
Arthritis Foundation