So you know how I was going to be all "The summer of Grandmother = Yay!"
Yeah, well that was until the sinus infection I've been fighting off for weeks decided to migrate to my EAR (not exactly, but close enough), and I can't talk (or eat. Or swallow.) without wanting to carve out the inside of my ear. So, I'm miserable, and I'm miserable company...Grandmother - "You seem depressed." Answer I want to give - "That's because someone is sticking something hot and sharp into my ear!" Answer that is acceptable to give: "No, ma'am, just sore." Grandmother - "You just need Lil Girl to cheer you up" Answer I want to give - "Thank all the gods and goddesses that those kids are on vacation, because right about now I'd be trying to sell them on Craigslist." Answer that is acceptable to give - "No, I'd be pretty miserable and then so would the kids."
And I just want my own bed, in my own room, where I can turn on the damn air conditioner before 3 in the afternoon (Why?), and where I can get away with just eating mashed potatoes and bananas all day, and where there's soup so I don't have to, and where Mom knows me well enough to know that this is not my mad face or my depressed face, this is my HOLY JEBUS WHY THE ...WHO THE HELL GETS A SINUS INFECTION IN THEIR EAR face.
So, yeah: I'm supposed to be on a kid-less vacation this week, enjoying my time with the lovely people I am staying with, and instead I feel like an emo harpy who sits in the dark room and watches reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Hulu all day. Awesome. I'm sure they'll want me to visit All The Time.
Blah.
Showing posts with label JulyNaBloPoMo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JulyNaBloPoMo. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Always surviving
Today, my aunt packed up and headed back to Ohio at some ungodly hour of the morning, and after she left, my Grandmother knocked on the den door, came in and sat beside me on the bed. "I just said good-bye to Mac", she said, her voice low and thin.
I put my head on her shoulder, she put her head on mine. A few minutes later, she whispered "I just don't know if I'm ever going to see her again."
She was crying as she said it, and her tears made me want to flinch they were so heavy.
Then her hearing aid whistled at us, and she collected herself, pulled herself back in, saying that she shouldn't be leaning on my shoulder, because it hurts me.
As if I care.
But she bustled out, and I knew she needed to be alone for a few minutes: Because sometimes you just can't cry in front of other people; because sometimes you're afraid you might not be able to stop.
I sat on the bed, in the dark early morning, with the stupid birds chirping away outside the window, and the light trying to creep in through the cracks of the shades, and I thought about what it must be like to have to say goodbye to your child, never knowing if you'll see them again.
Of course none of us ever knows, but we each have our own false comforts of being young, or healthy, or knowing that you only have to wait till tomorrow, or that you're right down the street, or that you've had all your shots.
I thought about how scary it must be to have lived long enough to know that it doesn't matter how safe you are, how old you are, how prepared you are: no matter what, life and death happen. You can't control them.
To have lost everyone who came before you, to know there's nobody left between you and what comes next ? How frightening it must be to be 92 and to know that whatever time you have left, it's not going to be enough.
It's scary for me to think about that, to try to imagine my world without her, but I've scraped together the remnants of my own naive beliefs, and I wrap them around me like a cocoon of denial... it hurts too much to go there.
I can't imagine what it must be like for her, without the comforts -however false - to protect her heart.
After a while, I went out to the couch where she was laying down and I just sat and held her hand. The tears slid from her eyes, backwards toward the pillow, slowly now, but I could tell she'd been crying harder, by the dampness on her pillow.
She apologized for getting me up (again: as if I care).
"I love to see them come," she said, "but I hate to see them go."
And we were both silent for a while, and I can't be sure what she was thinking, but I know that I was thinking about all the people who've gone and never made it back: Three of her children, my father included, 10 years ago this week. Her husband. Her mother, her grandmother, all of her siblings. Nana. Uncles and aunts, cousins and friends.
People you said goodbye to like it was any other day, only it turned out not to be. People you clung to as you said goodbye, knowing there'd be no tomorrows. People you waved away, absentmindedly, only to regret it forever.
People who just... left.
And I thought about how brave you have to be to let the people you love out of your sight, even for a moment. Why can't we all just sit around holding hands all day, every day? (Yes, I realize that we'd all go crazy within 10 minutes, but still...)
She lost her mother when she was six years old, and she's managed to make it through everyday of the next 86 years, knowing how fragile life is, but not being able to do anything about it besides live. I know it's all we can do, but sometimes it seems like SO MUCH, like TOO MUCH. 86 years and counting of risking, and loving, and wishing and lasting, and trying, and fighting and fearing, and hoping, and just ... being.
And surviving - sometimes curled up in a ball, and other times with arms open wide - but always surviving.
I put my head on her shoulder, she put her head on mine. A few minutes later, she whispered "I just don't know if I'm ever going to see her again."
She was crying as she said it, and her tears made me want to flinch they were so heavy.
Then her hearing aid whistled at us, and she collected herself, pulled herself back in, saying that she shouldn't be leaning on my shoulder, because it hurts me.
As if I care.
But she bustled out, and I knew she needed to be alone for a few minutes: Because sometimes you just can't cry in front of other people; because sometimes you're afraid you might not be able to stop.
I sat on the bed, in the dark early morning, with the stupid birds chirping away outside the window, and the light trying to creep in through the cracks of the shades, and I thought about what it must be like to have to say goodbye to your child, never knowing if you'll see them again.
Of course none of us ever knows, but we each have our own false comforts of being young, or healthy, or knowing that you only have to wait till tomorrow, or that you're right down the street, or that you've had all your shots.
I thought about how scary it must be to have lived long enough to know that it doesn't matter how safe you are, how old you are, how prepared you are: no matter what, life and death happen. You can't control them.
To have lost everyone who came before you, to know there's nobody left between you and what comes next ? How frightening it must be to be 92 and to know that whatever time you have left, it's not going to be enough.
It's scary for me to think about that, to try to imagine my world without her, but I've scraped together the remnants of my own naive beliefs, and I wrap them around me like a cocoon of denial... it hurts too much to go there.
I can't imagine what it must be like for her, without the comforts -however false - to protect her heart.
After a while, I went out to the couch where she was laying down and I just sat and held her hand. The tears slid from her eyes, backwards toward the pillow, slowly now, but I could tell she'd been crying harder, by the dampness on her pillow.
She apologized for getting me up (again: as if I care).
"I love to see them come," she said, "but I hate to see them go."
And we were both silent for a while, and I can't be sure what she was thinking, but I know that I was thinking about all the people who've gone and never made it back: Three of her children, my father included, 10 years ago this week. Her husband. Her mother, her grandmother, all of her siblings. Nana. Uncles and aunts, cousins and friends.
People you said goodbye to like it was any other day, only it turned out not to be. People you clung to as you said goodbye, knowing there'd be no tomorrows. People you waved away, absentmindedly, only to regret it forever.
People who just... left.
And I thought about how brave you have to be to let the people you love out of your sight, even for a moment. Why can't we all just sit around holding hands all day, every day? (Yes, I realize that we'd all go crazy within 10 minutes, but still...)
She lost her mother when she was six years old, and she's managed to make it through everyday of the next 86 years, knowing how fragile life is, but not being able to do anything about it besides live. I know it's all we can do, but sometimes it seems like SO MUCH, like TOO MUCH. 86 years and counting of risking, and loving, and wishing and lasting, and trying, and fighting and fearing, and hoping, and just ... being.
And surviving - sometimes curled up in a ball, and other times with arms open wide - but always surviving.
Friday, July 24, 2009
I know...
I'm a bit behind this week, for various reasons
Reason A = Pull Out Couch of Death.
Reason B = Recuperation from 92year old grandmother's birthday party - more slowly than said 92 year old.
Reason C = Tumblr. And all sorts of Tumblr-y goodness, some of which I will share with you in short order.
Reason D = Doctors and pharmacies that can not communicate with each other, and make me do all the (virtual) running around instead.
Reason E = Lil Girl, Aunt Mac, random dragging out of days.
Reason F = I have been more dizzy than usual, and experiencing more jaw pain than usual, and was thinking it was just part of my Flare (see reasons A & B). Yesterday, all of the sudden, I started realizing that the pain and the dizziness seem to be coming from some sort of pressure in my left ear. I'm pretty sure I have an ear infection. But my temp is not up, so new PCP says "don't come in unless the pain gets worse." Of course, now it is Friday night, and the pain is getting worse.
There are more reasons. We shall skip over them. Instead, I shall give Ms Crazed Mom herself a well deserved shout out for perhaps my best comment ever: "an inability to do physical tasks do not preclude brilliance, commenting on TMZ however, does." :) Brilliant, as usual.
I be back, in a bit. I think it's going to be a long night.
Reason A = Pull Out Couch of Death.
Reason B = Recuperation from 92year old grandmother's birthday party - more slowly than said 92 year old.
Reason C = Tumblr. And all sorts of Tumblr-y goodness, some of which I will share with you in short order.
Reason D = Doctors and pharmacies that can not communicate with each other, and make me do all the (virtual) running around instead.
Reason E = Lil Girl, Aunt Mac, random dragging out of days.
Reason F = I have been more dizzy than usual, and experiencing more jaw pain than usual, and was thinking it was just part of my Flare (see reasons A & B). Yesterday, all of the sudden, I started realizing that the pain and the dizziness seem to be coming from some sort of pressure in my left ear. I'm pretty sure I have an ear infection. But my temp is not up, so new PCP says "don't come in unless the pain gets worse." Of course, now it is Friday night, and the pain is getting worse.
There are more reasons. We shall skip over them. Instead, I shall give Ms Crazed Mom herself a well deserved shout out for perhaps my best comment ever: "an inability to do physical tasks do not preclude brilliance, commenting on TMZ however, does." :) Brilliant, as usual.
I be back, in a bit. I think it's going to be a long night.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
On the front porch with you...
Some of the things that I've learned at Grandmother's house -
- Having somebody tell you "I don't think I've ever told anybody that before" is a priceless gift.
- Sometimes paper and pen is the way to go...
- But good luck finding a working pen.
- Progress can be a four-letter word.
- The importance of knowing the day of the week &/or the date can be highly overrated.
- I could do the laundry/make the coffee/bake cookies at home, if things were set up in a way that allowed me to do them. (Social model of disability, anyone?)
- There is no occasion that doesn't call for tea.
- Worrying is a hereditary trait.
- So is fainting.
- And stubbornness.
- Although it is totally politically incorrect, and I realize it is not my place to decide what a group of people to which I do not belong prefer to be called, I think 'colored' sounds a lot nicer, and a lot more accurate, than 'black.' Of course, my father, the first time he saw a black person on a city bus, (probably around 4 years old) called her a "chocolate lady", which also sounds rather nice.
- Cheesecake at 3 in the morning isn't just something you see on TV.
- Letting the phone ring less than 5 or more than 10 times should be a punishable crime.
- Just because there's no fire doesn't mean the electric stove isn't on. AKA Electric stoves are much more tricksy than gas stoves.
- Some people still care what the neighbors will say.
- I am trying hard not to be one of those people.
- It is ridiculously easy to fall out of the 'loop,' and sometimes you don't even care.
- I am very suceptable to other people's speech patterns. Yes ma'am, I am.
- Sometimes a phone call is a lifeline.
- So is something as simple as a postcard.
- Even bad memories are important to share.
- And yet, sometimes keeping something to yourself is a true kindness.
- Make the effort - as much as you can, as often as you can.
- No one needs to watch the news 4 times a day. No one.
- I know that mugs are tougher and more accessible, but I miss the teacups. Drinking from a teacup makes the day that much more special.
- You do not need to be in the same room as the TV to 'watch' it.
- Having to depend upon people to do things for you, especially if you used to be able to do those things for yourself, does not get any easier, no matter your age.
- Asking for help is hard, especially when you have to keep asking: be a good advocate for yourself - and for others - remind people of what's necessary.
- Speak louder. Slower. And make sure it's worth repeating before you open your mouth.
- Even the most devout have doubts.
- Everybody needs somebody who can reach the top shelf.
- There's always going to be a to-do list. It's ok if it becomes a to-do later list.
- Everyone is susceptible to a little girl with ringlet curls, a big smile, and a million questions.
- It doesn't matter what the calendar says: If you're cold, turn on the heat. Even if you had the air conditioner on yesterday.
- There should always be a blanket and a pillow readily available.
- Drop ins are welcome, even if they've interrupted your nap. Or a good book. Try to remember how lonely you were before they dropped in.
- If you've willingly pre-paid your funeral expenses, but balk at getting an expensive, digital hearing aid that will greatly improve the quality of your life, your priorities need adjusting.
- Write things down as soon as you can, because you WILL forget the details.
- It's ok to be in the room by yourself. But be there.
- There's always going to be somebody else who wants to do it their way. Let them, sometimes. Other times, don't.
- Regrets for other people - for the things they've messed up or missed out on - can be stronger than any regrets you have for yourself.
- Even a good show gets stale quick, if you're watching the reruns three times a day.
- Having eclectic taste in music is a real bonus.
- So is a mastery of YouTube.
- When there's nothing good on, just shut the damn thing off.
- It would be nice if the UPS truck stopped here sometimes.
- Some stories will never get old - and some should never be repeated.
- There's always going to be something you don't know.
- Having somebody tell you "I don't think I've ever told anybody that before" is a priceless gift.
- Sometimes paper and pen is the way to go...
- But good luck finding a working pen.
- Progress can be a four-letter word.
- The importance of knowing the day of the week &/or the date can be highly overrated.
- I could do the laundry/make the coffee/bake cookies at home, if things were set up in a way that allowed me to do them. (Social model of disability, anyone?)
- There is no occasion that doesn't call for tea.
- Worrying is a hereditary trait.
- So is fainting.
- And stubbornness.
- Although it is totally politically incorrect, and I realize it is not my place to decide what a group of people to which I do not belong prefer to be called, I think 'colored' sounds a lot nicer, and a lot more accurate, than 'black.' Of course, my father, the first time he saw a black person on a city bus, (probably around 4 years old) called her a "chocolate lady", which also sounds rather nice.
- Cheesecake at 3 in the morning isn't just something you see on TV.
- Letting the phone ring less than 5 or more than 10 times should be a punishable crime.
- Just because there's no fire doesn't mean the electric stove isn't on. AKA Electric stoves are much more tricksy than gas stoves.
- Some people still care what the neighbors will say.
- I am trying hard not to be one of those people.
- It is ridiculously easy to fall out of the 'loop,' and sometimes you don't even care.
- I am very suceptable to other people's speech patterns. Yes ma'am, I am.
- Sometimes a phone call is a lifeline.
- So is something as simple as a postcard.
- Even bad memories are important to share.
- And yet, sometimes keeping something to yourself is a true kindness.
- Make the effort - as much as you can, as often as you can.
- No one needs to watch the news 4 times a day. No one.
- I know that mugs are tougher and more accessible, but I miss the teacups. Drinking from a teacup makes the day that much more special.
- You do not need to be in the same room as the TV to 'watch' it.
- Having to depend upon people to do things for you, especially if you used to be able to do those things for yourself, does not get any easier, no matter your age.
- Asking for help is hard, especially when you have to keep asking: be a good advocate for yourself - and for others - remind people of what's necessary.
- Speak louder. Slower. And make sure it's worth repeating before you open your mouth.
- Even the most devout have doubts.
- Everybody needs somebody who can reach the top shelf.
- There's always going to be a to-do list. It's ok if it becomes a to-do later list.
- Everyone is susceptible to a little girl with ringlet curls, a big smile, and a million questions.
- It doesn't matter what the calendar says: If you're cold, turn on the heat. Even if you had the air conditioner on yesterday.
- There should always be a blanket and a pillow readily available.
- Drop ins are welcome, even if they've interrupted your nap. Or a good book. Try to remember how lonely you were before they dropped in.
- If you've willingly pre-paid your funeral expenses, but balk at getting an expensive, digital hearing aid that will greatly improve the quality of your life, your priorities need adjusting.
- Write things down as soon as you can, because you WILL forget the details.
- It's ok to be in the room by yourself. But be there.
- There's always going to be somebody else who wants to do it their way. Let them, sometimes. Other times, don't.
- Regrets for other people - for the things they've messed up or missed out on - can be stronger than any regrets you have for yourself.
- Even a good show gets stale quick, if you're watching the reruns three times a day.
- Having eclectic taste in music is a real bonus.
- So is a mastery of YouTube.
- When there's nothing good on, just shut the damn thing off.
- It would be nice if the UPS truck stopped here sometimes.
- Some stories will never get old - and some should never be repeated.
- There's always going to be something you don't know.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Stupid computer
Yeah, I missed yesterday, so my July NaBloPoMo challenge didn't work out, but I'm going to blame it all on my computer, which seems to have caught some sort of virus that I have already spent the better part of 5 hours trying to figure out. UGH! I hate it when the computer decides to complicate my life. That's ok, though, I'm just going to pretend that everything is fine now, and once the virus scan stops scanning (for the 33rd time), it will tell me everything is hunky dory. Won't it?
Grr...
Grr...
Monday, July 13, 2009
Next time, I'm going to make somebody
skip out on work and take me to the midnight showing. But not this year -
which does not mean I am not uber excited Re: the new Harry Potter movie. (Wanna make something of it?)
Image via momentarily
which does not mean I am not uber excited Re: the new Harry Potter movie. (Wanna make something of it?)
Image via momentarily
Sunday, July 12, 2009
If only I could put it in my pocket
I can think of nothing worth noting about my day. It has been filled with a whole lot of nothing much besides
A quiet Sunday, exemplified.
Next Sunday, we shall have company aplenty, for it is my grandmother's 92nd birthday. And I know that there will be a moment - between all the cousins playing catch up, and the baby-hogs vying for baby-time, and the much longed for camaraderie of family - when I long for just a little bit of today's peace and quiet.
- sunlight carrying the slight breeze through the windows,
- corn on the cob and steak on the grill,
- the common bird calls mixing with the voices of the kids across the street
A quiet Sunday, exemplified.
Next Sunday, we shall have company aplenty, for it is my grandmother's 92nd birthday. And I know that there will be a moment - between all the cousins playing catch up, and the baby-hogs vying for baby-time, and the much longed for camaraderie of family - when I long for just a little bit of today's peace and quiet.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Because they make a good point about Dumbledore
who should have just TOLD Harry that Voldemort could read his thoughts instead of hiding from him for an entire school year... Check out this article, about lazy wizards. The highlight:
Must be making plans for HP 6 soon... am VERY excited.
Gargamel is a hermit "wizard" who is the Smurfs' main antagonist. At various times he either wants to capture the Smurfs and use them as part of a potion that creates gold, or he wants to eat them. The Smurfs are a versatile resource for Gargamel.From The 7 Most Powerful Wizards Too Lazy To Use Their Powers
The case against him:
If successful wizarding were baseball, Gargamel would be the White Sox. His only goal in life is to capture the Smurfs and since all Smurfs are roughly the size of squirrels and subsist almost entirely on a diet of Smurfberries, one would conclude that a basic knowledge of mousetraps would do the trick.
Instead, Gargamel, with the entire arsenal of potions from the wizarding world at his disposal, launches infuriatingly complicated Rube Goldbergian magical schemes, and completely fails every single time.
Being outsmarted by a Smurf is like being outsmarted by one of your shoes. The Smurfs each fulfill a specific function in their little communist utopia, such as being bashful, vain or gay. Take them out of that element and they have no idea how to cope outside of screaming their blue heads off to get Papa Smurf to rescue them. The fact that Papa Smurf usually does rescue them by using his own magical powers means that Papa Smurf is actually a far greater wizard than Gargamel. By extension this probably also means that one of your shoes is likely a far greater wizard than Gargamel.
Must be making plans for HP 6 soon... am VERY excited.
Friday, July 10, 2009
"That's the way to catch a beau..."
That's from More New Math. Let me just add that NTE's Insomnia = The Pull-out Couch of Death (TM) + YouTube Videos of Haley Mills Movies = Having "PollyaANNNAAAA" or the totally anti feminist lyrics from Femininity "You must walk feminine, talk feminine, smile and beguile feminine ... Hide the real you" in your head all freaking day long.
Just in case you were wondering what "every girl should know"
You're welcome. (bangs head against desk) Go play Jeopardy, boost your IQ.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Who likes parenthesis?
I hope it's you, because this post is full of 'em.
Only Lil Girl showed up today, and she showed up in her best mood. We watched thunderclouds roll through and looked for rainbows when they were gone. (But we didn't find any) We ate all sorts of cheese based meals (mac and cheese, grilled cheese) with very little nutritional value whatsoever and pre-meal whining was at minimum.(Fruit? Never heard of it. And sadly, there were no green beans at hand, so vegetables were also a no go.) We watched half of Toy Story 2 and she fell asleep during the first song of our 'quiet music' playlist. (With a pillow over her face: safety is our call word around here.) (I didn't leave it on, don't worry. But, seriously, who falls asleep like that?) My camera stopped working, but I'm hoping(/pretending) that it's just that the batteries were too low, so I'm charging them all again. (Two pairs of batteries, and the screen was still shutting off... I can NOT afford to buy a camera right now, so let's all say a little chant that it was just the batteries.) I watched 3 minutes of the Michael Jackson coverage and bawled, and was quite glad to miss out on the rest of it. (Blah. I do not know why people cannot understand that if somebody in your family dies, you would like to be left the hell alone... the only part I saw was that little girl crying, and HOW can anybody not be touched by that?) My brother picked up his child before the sun set (for the first time in over a month) and she was ready to go when he got here. And now I am writing to all of you, getting ready for Jeopardy (Remind me to finish that post about Grandmother's house and Jeopardy, so that you can understand how important that is), and being glad that my heating pad is working again (yesterday it decided to not work. At all.)
How did your day go?
Only Lil Girl showed up today, and she showed up in her best mood. We watched thunderclouds roll through and looked for rainbows when they were gone. (But we didn't find any) We ate all sorts of cheese based meals (mac and cheese, grilled cheese) with very little nutritional value whatsoever and pre-meal whining was at minimum.(Fruit? Never heard of it. And sadly, there were no green beans at hand, so vegetables were also a no go.) We watched half of Toy Story 2 and she fell asleep during the first song of our 'quiet music' playlist. (With a pillow over her face: safety is our call word around here.) (I didn't leave it on, don't worry. But, seriously, who falls asleep like that?) My camera stopped working, but I'm hoping(/pretending) that it's just that the batteries were too low, so I'm charging them all again. (Two pairs of batteries, and the screen was still shutting off... I can NOT afford to buy a camera right now, so let's all say a little chant that it was just the batteries.) I watched 3 minutes of the Michael Jackson coverage and bawled, and was quite glad to miss out on the rest of it. (Blah. I do not know why people cannot understand that if somebody in your family dies, you would like to be left the hell alone... the only part I saw was that little girl crying, and HOW can anybody not be touched by that?) My brother picked up his child before the sun set (for the first time in over a month) and she was ready to go when he got here. And now I am writing to all of you, getting ready for Jeopardy (Remind me to finish that post about Grandmother's house and Jeopardy, so that you can understand how important that is), and being glad that my heating pad is working again (yesterday it decided to not work. At all.)
How did your day go?
Monday, July 06, 2009
Snuggle time
One of the best things about the time I am spending here at my Grandmother's house is that Tuesdays and Thursdays are still my days to watch my little munchkins. Which means that the kids have been getting to spend a lot more time getting to know Grandmother, UJ, and Sister K.
As a result, Youngest Nephew is now aware that UJ is an excellent baseball coach and that Grandmother's favorite soda is cream soda, and that her family used to make their own root beer in the cellar every summer when she was a kid (80 odd years ago). Lil Girl knows that Sister K's room is an unmitigated disaster area, that she can con UJ into taking her up to the park if she asks in just the right way, and - perhaps the most universal truth in our family - that a grandmother's lap and a rocking chair is the most comforting thing in the world. (Or, in this case, a great-grandmother's lap.)
Starting the week off on the right foot, with this Best Shot. Don't forget to visit Tracey for other fabulous shots!
As a result, Youngest Nephew is now aware that UJ is an excellent baseball coach and that Grandmother's favorite soda is cream soda, and that her family used to make their own root beer in the cellar every summer when she was a kid (80 odd years ago). Lil Girl knows that Sister K's room is an unmitigated disaster area, that she can con UJ into taking her up to the park if she asks in just the right way, and - perhaps the most universal truth in our family - that a grandmother's lap and a rocking chair is the most comforting thing in the world. (Or, in this case, a great-grandmother's lap.)
Starting the week off on the right foot, with this Best Shot. Don't forget to visit Tracey for other fabulous shots!
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Bits and pieces
Here are some (very) random words/phrases/quotes from things I've been reading lately:
- "People induce labor by various means including: breast stimulation, sexual intercourse, herbs, vaginal lubrication, abdominal manipulation, hot bricks pressed on the abdomen, friends beating and kicking the abdomen, hanging the mother from a tree and community members pulling on the abdomen, gagging the mother so she will spasm, slapping and yelling at the mother, episiotomy, and stretching the vagina." Gulp. from a very interesting post on the myths of childbirth
- "In order to prevent the resurgence of Nazism, Holocaust denial is illegal in a number of European countries." I think that's pretty cool, even if it does rub my liberal, American, free speech loving soul the wrong way. From wikipedia
- "Human beings are hardwired to see patterns. Seeing links and connections between various stimuli is a big part of how people navigate complex environments. Back in the earlier days of our evolution, it helped us to hunt and find food; today it helps us deal with people, keep track of large amounts of information and figure out just what the fuck is happening on Lost." Seriously: WTH is up with Lost? I didn't see the last 3 or 4 episodes, but even so, I don't think they'll be helpful. Am very much looking forward to the final 18 hours of this show. I will need everysingleminute of those 18 hours to be explanatory, but that's ok. From Cracked
- "And I've learnt not to show impatience, never to be grumpy. Before, as a "standing" person, my occasional bad mood was tolerated: now I must exhibit unfailing cheer, grace and humility. We wheeled citizens had better appreciate others' Samaritan actions, lest our ingratitude causes offence!" Nodding Head. From standing up for the seated
- "As someone living with fibromyalgia, when faced with articles and attitudes like these, I find myself at odds between the desire to be a peaceful sort and the urge to take a tire iron to the denier, yelling as I work them over, “IT’S OKAY! IT’S NOT REAL!” Amen and Hallelujah! Why didn't I ever think of that? From the comments on this awesome post about the freaking ridiculous Salon article that said it was attacking Big Pharma, but was, in reality, attacking FM patients.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
15 books
I haven't been tagged, but I rarely am, so I have to hijack other people's memes. Here's one I've seen floating around for a while - 15 books.
“Don’t take too long to think about it. List 15 books you’ve read that will always stick with you. Choose the first fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag 15 friends, including me.”
In no order:
1. It by Stephen King. One of my top 5 books of all time. I read it when I was the same age as the kids in the book, and the idea that kids had power was so shocking to me. Welcome, but shocking. And it always makes me think about how people underestimate children, and how we think of the children we know in relation to our own lives, sometimes forgetting that they have lives of their own. Plus, it has the scariest clown ever.
2. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. I first read this book as one of those cassette tapes that were popular in the 80's: "you can read along with me in your book" and I can not overstate how much I wanted to be one of the March sisters. When Amy burned Jo's book, I wanted to jump into the pages of the book and tear her hair out. But when she fell into the ice a few pages later, and I heard the sharp crack of it - I gasped and nearly cried, thinking of Jo and Teddy on the edge of the ice, trying to pull her up. Of course, I always do wind up crying whenever I read it, but that is the reason this book lives in the freezer.
3.Century by IDK. I have never seen this book anywhere besides my Nana's bookcase, and somewhere along the line, that got misplaced (or taken), so I don't know who wrote it. I can also barely remember the plot. What I do remember is that it was in a shelf of books that I was "too young for," and that meant I had to do whatever I could to get to it. It had a shiny gold cover, and was, in reality one of those really horrid romance novels that gives people the impression that the romance genre is a wasteland, but oh how I wanted to read it. I would sneak little snippets of it while in the sunpalor by myself, and, being 9, was shocked that there were NAKED people doing NAKED things in it. I wasn't interested in any of that then, but knowing that I wasn't supposed to be reading it gave it all an extra thrill.
4. Twillight by Stephanie Meyer. Because there's no way that this book is good - it's not written well, it doesn't have an original plot or unforgettable characters, and you spend most of the book (hell, the series) wanting to help Bella grow a spine for god's sake, and still it is Full Of Crack. Addictive as hell, and almost as stigmatizing. Plus, it's brought 2 of my sisters back to the realization that reading is not just a waste of time, but rather, an enjoyable waste of time. ;)
5. The Monster at the End of this Book by Jon Stone. One of the first books I learned to read on my own. One of the first books Youngest Nephew could read on his own. And a perfect example of if you want kids to read, to learn that reading is fun, to LOVE it like you do, you have to put on a show.
6. Jewels of the Sun by Nora Roberts. Made me a Noraholic, an ADWOFF-er, and made Nora, and her alter ego JD Robb, an auto buy for me. Always.
7. Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton. Because Oh My Sweet Jesus, why? Why does a book so boring and bland get to be required reading? This was almost an entire semester's worth of work my sophomore year in high school, and it showed me why other people thought reading was boring. Because there isn't a single moment of this book that I didn't read hoping against hope that some axe murderer would come in from all that snow and just kill everybody.
8. By The Shores of Silver Lake by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Because between this book and the one before it, Mary had gone blind (Spoiler Alert, sorry). She had scarlet fever and all in the previous book, but everybody had been fine, dealing with it, whatever. And then I opened up the next book, and Bam! Blind. WTF? It was very upsetting, and I cried for a good hour.
9. Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher. Because she was talking about me. And everybody I ever knew. This idea that girls get, somewhere along the line, that they have to pretend to be what they're not, that they can only exist within the narrow confines of the place society has marked out for them was so specific, it seemed as if she were writing about my life. I was a college freshman when I read it, who didn't have any of the terminology about gender roles and patriarchy and all of that, but once I saw it, I couldn't unsee it. And that's powerful. (Also under this category, books on the second shift, on disability, on any of the sociological -isms we see everyday; on consumerism, on ecology, on the green movement and my role in it.)
10. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling. Because I read it with my sister at my side, all in one big gulp, the day it came out. Because I had to put the book down more than once to cry properly. Because the next HP movie comes out in like a week and a half, and I MUST see it. Because HP and his gang of gawky teenage wizards have given me more enjoyment in the past decade than any other cast of characters I can name.
11. Lies my teacher told me by James Loewen. Because WTH with all the lying? A key element in my evolution into a critical reader. And thinker.
12. The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kozinski. Because it was a truly terrifying, ick-filled, horror of a read. I felt dirty by the time I finished it. I still kind of do.
13. Illness as Metaphor by Susan Sontag. Because, again, she was writing about me. And how society sees me, and tries to make me see myself. And because I finally felt like I wasn't the only person who thought that society was full of crap when it came to people like me.
14. Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein. Because "I cannot go to school today said little Peggy Anne McKay. I have the measles and the mumps, a gash, a rash and purple bumps. My mouth is wet, my throat is dry, I'm going blind in my right eye..." Sick. The first poem I ever memorized, and, when I was 7, the best poem ever. "What? What's that? What's that you say? You say today is Saturday? G'bye I'm going out to play!"
15. All I Really Needed To Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum. Because it's totally true. Observe: "
Consider yourself tagged - please play along if you're a book nut like I am. And tell me here, if you do, because I'd love to see your 15.
“Don’t take too long to think about it. List 15 books you’ve read that will always stick with you. Choose the first fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag 15 friends, including me.”
In no order:
1. It by Stephen King. One of my top 5 books of all time. I read it when I was the same age as the kids in the book, and the idea that kids had power was so shocking to me. Welcome, but shocking. And it always makes me think about how people underestimate children, and how we think of the children we know in relation to our own lives, sometimes forgetting that they have lives of their own. Plus, it has the scariest clown ever.
2. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. I first read this book as one of those cassette tapes that were popular in the 80's: "you can read along with me in your book" and I can not overstate how much I wanted to be one of the March sisters. When Amy burned Jo's book, I wanted to jump into the pages of the book and tear her hair out. But when she fell into the ice a few pages later, and I heard the sharp crack of it - I gasped and nearly cried, thinking of Jo and Teddy on the edge of the ice, trying to pull her up. Of course, I always do wind up crying whenever I read it, but that is the reason this book lives in the freezer.
3.Century by IDK. I have never seen this book anywhere besides my Nana's bookcase, and somewhere along the line, that got misplaced (or taken), so I don't know who wrote it. I can also barely remember the plot. What I do remember is that it was in a shelf of books that I was "too young for," and that meant I had to do whatever I could to get to it. It had a shiny gold cover, and was, in reality one of those really horrid romance novels that gives people the impression that the romance genre is a wasteland, but oh how I wanted to read it. I would sneak little snippets of it while in the sunpalor by myself, and, being 9, was shocked that there were NAKED people doing NAKED things in it. I wasn't interested in any of that then, but knowing that I wasn't supposed to be reading it gave it all an extra thrill.
4. Twillight by Stephanie Meyer. Because there's no way that this book is good - it's not written well, it doesn't have an original plot or unforgettable characters, and you spend most of the book (hell, the series) wanting to help Bella grow a spine for god's sake, and still it is Full Of Crack. Addictive as hell, and almost as stigmatizing. Plus, it's brought 2 of my sisters back to the realization that reading is not just a waste of time, but rather, an enjoyable waste of time. ;)
5. The Monster at the End of this Book by Jon Stone. One of the first books I learned to read on my own. One of the first books Youngest Nephew could read on his own. And a perfect example of if you want kids to read, to learn that reading is fun, to LOVE it like you do, you have to put on a show.
6. Jewels of the Sun by Nora Roberts. Made me a Noraholic, an ADWOFF-er, and made Nora, and her alter ego JD Robb, an auto buy for me. Always.
7. Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton. Because Oh My Sweet Jesus, why? Why does a book so boring and bland get to be required reading? This was almost an entire semester's worth of work my sophomore year in high school, and it showed me why other people thought reading was boring. Because there isn't a single moment of this book that I didn't read hoping against hope that some axe murderer would come in from all that snow and just kill everybody.
8. By The Shores of Silver Lake by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Because between this book and the one before it, Mary had gone blind (Spoiler Alert, sorry). She had scarlet fever and all in the previous book, but everybody had been fine, dealing with it, whatever. And then I opened up the next book, and Bam! Blind. WTF? It was very upsetting, and I cried for a good hour.
9. Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher. Because she was talking about me. And everybody I ever knew. This idea that girls get, somewhere along the line, that they have to pretend to be what they're not, that they can only exist within the narrow confines of the place society has marked out for them was so specific, it seemed as if she were writing about my life. I was a college freshman when I read it, who didn't have any of the terminology about gender roles and patriarchy and all of that, but once I saw it, I couldn't unsee it. And that's powerful. (Also under this category, books on the second shift, on disability, on any of the sociological -isms we see everyday; on consumerism, on ecology, on the green movement and my role in it.)
10. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling. Because I read it with my sister at my side, all in one big gulp, the day it came out. Because I had to put the book down more than once to cry properly. Because the next HP movie comes out in like a week and a half, and I MUST see it. Because HP and his gang of gawky teenage wizards have given me more enjoyment in the past decade than any other cast of characters I can name.
11. Lies my teacher told me by James Loewen. Because WTH with all the lying? A key element in my evolution into a critical reader. And thinker.
12. The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kozinski. Because it was a truly terrifying, ick-filled, horror of a read. I felt dirty by the time I finished it. I still kind of do.
13. Illness as Metaphor by Susan Sontag. Because, again, she was writing about me. And how society sees me, and tries to make me see myself. And because I finally felt like I wasn't the only person who thought that society was full of crap when it came to people like me.
14. Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein. Because "I cannot go to school today said little Peggy Anne McKay. I have the measles and the mumps, a gash, a rash and purple bumps. My mouth is wet, my throat is dry, I'm going blind in my right eye..." Sick. The first poem I ever memorized, and, when I was 7, the best poem ever. "What? What's that? What's that you say? You say today is Saturday? G'bye I'm going out to play!"
15. All I Really Needed To Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum. Because it's totally true. Observe: "
"Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play
and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody
really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die.
So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books
and the first word you learned - the biggest
word of all - LOOK…"
Consider yourself tagged - please play along if you're a book nut like I am. And tell me here, if you do, because I'd love to see your 15.
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