Tuesday, November 09, 2010

"Are you lonesome tonight, Do you miss me tonight? Are you sorry we drifted apart?"

Day 09: So today's topic is about people who drifted out of your life, and I suppose I could mention any number of specific people. People I miss, people I'm not sure how I lost touch with, people who just... went away.

But instead, I want to be as honest as possible here, since that's the point of the whole damn thing, and say that I? Am not good at keeping in touch.

Oh, I pretend to be - or, more accurately, I hope to be: I'm one of those annoying people who has a presorted box full of cards to choose from whenever the need might arise. I have fancy stationary, and pens that I know are good for letter writing, and I sometimes spend entirely too much time looking for pretty, different, or interesting vintage postage stamps on E-bay (don't judge). I keep a meticulous address book, as well as a perpetual calendar with just about everybody's birthday noted in it.

But here's the thing: That address book? Is still packed (it's been over a year, and I can't find the damn thing). The calendar? I don't actually need it, because dates are things that stick in my head. But even with the dates there in my head, most of the time the card never gets taken out of the box and filled out. Where it does no good whatsoever. And I usually don't wind up buying the pretty stamps, because I have no money.

In my fantasy world, everybody I know/love gets a card on their birthday, and a letter when they're sad. They get "just thinking of you" and "cheer up, you can do it!" e-mails, and pop-in visits. They get phone calls that last for hours, and we go out to lunch a lot.

In reality, keeping in touch is a road to hell that is well paved for me. Good intentions abound, but I hardly ever follow through. In person visits are very few and very far between - mostly because of my circumstances (I'm sick; they have dogs; I don't drive; I am hacking up a lung) and the fact that we all have our own lives. Phone calls are ... tricky, because I don't technically like the phone. Which is to say I avoid it if at all possible.

I often say to myself "I should call/write/e-mail this person because it has been forever since we talked!" and then I go about ... not doing those things, and more time passes, and it builds up in my head ---- You haven't called; you are a horrible friend; you haven't seen her or met her baby and it is the baby's fourth birthday! At least send a card, you terrible person you! - until it gets to the point where I realize I MUST CALL NOW or I risk losing some important connection to a person I actually like, but just haven't been able to keep up with. At which point, I usually do not call because I still have a hearty dislike of the telephone, but instead I will send an quick e-mail to say "hi" so it doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me that I have been out of touch so long.

All this is to say, that if people drifted out of my life, and some of them did, I take at least partial responsibility.

And I miss you.

Just so's you know.


Day 01 Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself


Crazed Nitwit said...

Now I know why I never got that graduation card...........bwahahaha. Just giving you a hard time. HUGS!

Never That Easy said...

Honestly? That's EXACTLY why - I have the card (I bought it when you first started!) and I even have stamps... but asking you for your address again because I still can't find the damn address book? How sad. But now that you know, you could send it along.... :)