Friday, September 01, 2006

August perfect post

A Perfect Post (Via Lucinda and Momma K)

My choice for August's perfect post comes from the lovely Miss Zoot, for her post, He stepped up to the plate....

The post itself is wonderful, all about falling into the trap of "being the one who does it all," (with the really great line "Of course, since I'm still the reigning Bitchiest Woman On The Planet (with a trophy), I'm having the hardest time thanking him. "It's something you should be doing anyway, no one thanks me when I wash dishes! Or feed the baby! Why should I thank you?" (Although that title certainly doesn't fit, Miss Z). Really, though, it's the post of the month because it so hit so close to home for me:

With the Punkin and the Peanut here during the week, there's a ton of additional stress on my body: I'm having to move so much more, having to make my brain focus,etc. and it is really wearing on me. But it doesn't have to be this hard.

Mum and I are watching them Together, so why don't I let her do more of the work? Why do I insist I am fine long after we both know I am not fine? Why do I insist on doing all the little things that could very easily be overlooked for now? Why haven't I learned yet, after almost 12 years of being sick, that I need to listen to my frickin body???

Having the Punkin and Peanut here has highlighted just how far away I am from being able to have my own family, right now.

(Of course, I knew this: it is not exactly a surprise, since I am semi-bed bound and have a hard time getting around enough to make meals for myself, but spending 8 hours a day with a 6-year-old and a 3-month old? Very much clinches it.) Because I am totally a "One Who Does it All" person, and have a hard time not taking over even when I am very very sick (cough: Exhibit A: NTE has pneumonia, and yet chases after then 1-year-old Punkin when he comes to the doctor's with me. Exhibit B: Punkin and Peanut are here from 9-almost 6, when I really should have said: "No, I don't think we can handle that much P&P time, I'm just not up for it.")

I've really had to put a lot of dreams aside, for now: I'm not working, I'm not dating, I'm barely doing more than changing the baby's diaper and playing another round of Monopoly Jr everyday, and there's things that I am missing out on, sure. But there's a reason those things are on hold: because when I am a mom, and a wife, I'll want to be able to give it my all. Like Miss Zoot does. And, I'm giving everything I've got to getting well, to being an Auntie, right now. So I can't, right now, be a Mum. It'll just have to wait.

So, go over there and check out Miss Z's post, and see if it doesn't make you think about your own parenting style.

Although Miss Zoot's post made me think about my own situation, Meghan over at
My Dog Harriet had me thinking about other people's situations. Her post on Post-Partum Depression, (Letting the Cat out of the Bag) and the comments that followed it? Amazing. Catch-your-breath amazing. The kind of stuff where you know the blogosphere is actually helping someone: Someone who is sitting there at their computer, thinking they're all alone, and then crying tears when they find out they're not. Kudos to her, her commenters, and all the moms out there who made it through.

Also in contention this month were:

Maya's Granny, a self professed "elder of the tribe," continues to share her wisdom with the rest of us. She had two posts that really got me thinking this month:I'm the Granny Nowlike Miss Zoot's post, had me thinking about what it means to be the mom, the aunt, the granny.
& the intriguing Sexualizing Children, where she talks about the choices our society has made regarding women and children and how they are dressed. The implications of those choices maybe something you haven't really considered before.

The Lipstick Chronicles had a good post, Savage Breast, about something I didn't understand the big deal about (It's a boob, people... you've seen 'em before, ain't ya?)

A new blog I added to my bloglines this month was Within the Woods. Adding to my Bloglines is a very selective process, people. I only have so much time available to check blogs, and I want them to be the best. Well, I think this post, Tv Dad , shows I made a wise decision.

Lady Strathconn gets a nod for her post I Should Have Been a Better Friend, because it moved me. When I got sick, a lot of my friends (high school sophomores like me, mostly) just disappeared. It hurt so badly and in so many ways I doubt I could explain. But the few that stuck by me? Are treasures beyond measure. And the ones I've found since? Who've only known the "sick-me"? Just as priceless.

And a last minute nod to Sheryl over at Paper Napkin, because she made me laugh out loud yesterday with this little bit:

"Yes, well, the reason I'm not sleeping is because the dog was on the bed, trembling. This can only mean one thing: Mount Vipoopius is about to erupt. I grab her by the collar, and run to the back door to try get her out in time, and she tries to squat and release before I get there. It's a little game we play, much like fetch, only with poop and expletives."

Sheryl, I'm not sleeping either, but it's not for a reason as funny as that. If that helps.

So, go check out some perfect posts, my friends: wander to your heart's desire!

1 comment:

Maya's Granny said...

Dear One,
I have been healthy my entire life, until the last few years. My situation comes nowhere near yours, but I am very limited compared to most and certainly compared to my prior life. I was always a do everything person, a helper. And now, sometimes, I have to accept or even worse, ask for help. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. My daughter tells me that whenever I accept help I am allowing someone else the gift of doing for me. Why is that so hard for me to believe when it comes this direction when it is self evident when I am the one doing?

This is also true for you. When you allow someone else to help you, when you admit that you can't do everything, you are allowing others to give. And you are allowing yourself time to heal so that you will be able to give it your all.

It is so important to listen to your body. I am in the mess I am in because I didn't -- twice. Once, 13 years ago when I went to a picnic I didn't feel up to and consequently fell and injured my back and then again three years ago when my foot began to hurt and I ignored it until I was on a walker and ordered off my feet and the work I had done to overcome my injured back was undone and now here I am -- having to sit in a chair to take the lettuce out of the crisper. Having the lettuce go bad because I just can't get that far too many nights in a row.

Learn from me. Listen to your body.