Well, here we are

At the end of November, and I have completed both National Novel Writing Month (#2!) and National Blog Publishing Month (#6!).  Thank you for sticking around for both of those - This year's novel is still unfinished  - in fact, there are a lot of parts where I just wrote such helpful things as "INSERT SCENE WITH MC AND ANGE FIGHTING VEHEMENTLY" and just skipped over the scene itself, for the sake of keeping the words flowing, even if they weren't right for that particular scene that particular day. So, there will still be some writing to be done, but the 50,000 (technically, at this point, 50,348) goal has been met, and that feels awesome.

As for publishing a post every day in November, I am so glad to have made it through another year and to help me break through the grief-word-eating-cloud a little bit. (A little bit? How about I posted more this month than I have since this time last year? Or at any cumulative point this year? Understatement.) So yay!

Now, if only I could read and write simultaneously, that would really help me out, because all of this writing has definitely curtailed my reading this month. She says as she checks the ridiculous number of posts languishing in her feed reader.

I'm just going to let this speak for itself:

"When I get caught up in the web of feeling, tied up til I'm completely ensared in those slender threads of pain -

that’s when I realize that I’m out of any human reach——-out of the reach of rescue, but not out of harms way. You can’t kiss stuff like this and make it better—–sure, you could kiss it but what difference would that make? Kiss it and make it the same. Carrie Fisher

Thanks for showing up for the September Disability Blog Carnival ~ I had such fun (and a few minutes of trepidation, I won't lie) putting this together, and I hope there's something here that is meaningful to you.
I had the tentative theme of Being Seen, and I think we managed to get some great posts that address just that.

I'm going to start off with a rather sociologically bent contribution,Embodied Ontology Model: A Way Forward, which was suggested by Jon. Although it focuses most specifically on the Deaf community and its needs, I think its ontological perspective is pretty compelling for anybody who's interested in the larger sphere of dis/ability. There's a lot of talk about the pros and cons of the medical vs social model of disability, and the gaps that people can fall into if you're looking at it in an either or type of way:

The desire to belong and to fit into society is a strong human need...Recognition of difference, or ...‘otherness’ is crucial for minority groups in negotiating their place to ‘belong’ in the diverse cultural landscape... Yet there is considerable resistance or social inertia to acceptance of any form of difference within society.

I think there's a lot of interesting stuff here about being seen: wanting to be accepted, to belong, but also to have the recognition of differences, and the making a space for (or, alternatively, isolating) those differences along the way. It's definitely thought provoking.

One of the more interesting aspects of being seen, for those of us with 'invisible' illnesses, is the idea of disclosing: How and why and when do you tell people about this part of yourself? Leslie, at Getting Closer to Myself, discusses disclosing, and her specific hows and whens, in this recent post . She's so honest about the need for connection, and the vulnerability that you can feel in those situations: it's definitely worth a read.

The ever-wonderful Laurie, over at A Chronic Dose, has a provides her thoughts on disclosing as well, both as a teacher and as someone who suffers from chronic illnesses.

Next, I'm including a post from the uber-famous Bloggess, about how it feels (to her) to be living through an RA flare, for a couple of reasons. For one, as a person with FM, I'm all too familiar with the hideousness of flares and her words really resonated with me:

"Life passes. Then comes the depression. The feeling that you’ll never be right again. The fear that these outbreaks will become more familiar, or worse, never go away. You’re so tired from fighting that you start to listen to all the little lies your brain tells you. The ones that say that you’re a drain on your family. The ones that say that it’s all in your head. The ones that say that if you were stronger or better this wouldn’t be happening to you. The ones that say that there’s a reason why your body is trying to kill you, and that you should just stop all the injections and steroids and drugs and therapies."

and made me wish I had someone in my life to tell me "“It might be easier, but it wouldn’t be better.” Secondly, since we're talking about Being Seen, I thought it was important to note that such a prominent blogger was able to shine a spotlight on something that doesn't often get discussed. To me, seeing that there are other people out there who get it? Is vital.

Here's a poem Megan at Mirrored Lens posted for Invisible Illness Awareness week, about wanting your doctor to see you (but I know my eyes plead fix me) that I think many of us can relate to.

thatwordgirl spends some time talking about how she wants to be seen, and how she can make herself be seen differently, in this post about being the It Girl. I envy her her costume geekery: although I've gone so far as to paint the Batgirl insignia on my hands for the trick or treaters, I'm not quite bold enough to go full-out Oracle for Halloween.

This post, by Wheelchair Dancer, about the audience's reaction to the dancing vs. her own perception of it is illuminating. I've seen some of those "weaker choreographed" pieces (not from that troupe specifically, but in my internet travels, certainly), where the dancers in wheelchairs somehow seem to be props for the more 'able bodied' members to show off around. And they're kind of heartbreaking. Because I've also seen the wonderfully choreographed ones (and am now wishing I could find them - YouTube, why aren't you cooperating?), where the chairs are neither props nor handicaps, and all of the dancers dance.


Sharon Wachsler spends some time calling out Esquire Magazine, and a few other organizations, in her post Disabled Writers Need Not Submit:

"Nobody has to say, "I wasn't thinking," because they don't have to think . . . about disability. About us. That's what ableism is about. That's what privilege means: not having to think about what you don't struggle with."

Surely it's hard for people with disabilities to be seen if they can't even access opportunities to tell their stories?

And on the subject of telling stories for PWD, I wanted to point out this post, by s.e. smith, because I'm a total bibliophile, and this discussion of Mental Illness in Young Adult literature added more than one book to my TBR pile. Since books mean so much to me, and there's so many just plain bad - poorly written, stereotypical, not at all feasible, miracle cured! - books out there about people with disabilities (for all age groups: I did my thesis on disability representation in picture books, and there was more than one groan-worthy inclusion, let me tell you), I am so glad when someone gives kudos to authors who are doing it right. As smith says "These characters were carefully researched and sensitively depicted, in a way that resonated for many readers."


Thank you all so much for coming to this edition of the Disability Blog Carnival! Next month's edition will be hosted by Spaz Girl (Cara) at Butterfly Dreams. I know she and Penny will keep us posted.

Then she said, “You know, it’s so funny. What keeps any of those people in that dining room from being like me is just a virus, a thing in my body over which I had no control. Why did I get it and not them? Fate. Circumstance. Luck. But I have a place on the earth, just as they do. I have rights. ... When the shrink talked about how the disease would affect my personality, I talked about how my personality would affect the disease. I didn’t understand why nobody… I kept thinking, ‘I am me! I am still me!’” Her voice began to shake and she closed her eyes, then opened them. “Wipe my tears away and give me a chocolate,” she said." Elizabeth Berg: We Are All Welcome Here

My goodness

have I had a busy weekend: a 2nd birthday party for my cousin's twins on Saturday (about an hour away), and then yesterday, instead of getting our Christmas tree, we got my newest nephew instead!

Here he is SisterS's new baby, BabyB ... it'll have to do for now: Poor Youngest Nephew is going to need a new name too, but I'm too brain-fogged to think of a good name for either of them today, so ... settle for a picture?




I thought so. Here's our newest addition. I'm now an auntie to four great kids: How did that happen? (And, literally, this is less than half of my siblings... I could be in big trouble, eventually.)

Have a great week, everybody, and don't forget to head over to MBSM.

Happy Turkey Day!

After we built (tore down and rebuilt) a block city today, Lil Girl and I threw our own Thanksgiving Parade. Using all of the little people, birthday cake characters, and happy meal toys from our various childhoods (there's been a kid around here continuously since 1976), we wound up with a Sesame Street float, a Lion King float, a Lil Mermaid float, a bunch of clowns, a Bambi float, about 6 other Disney themed floats and had Woody from Toy Story leading the whole thing. Block City residents really seemed to enjoy, as did she and I. Afterwards, Lil Girl decided to invite every single float, wrangler and character back to the main house for Thanksgiving dinner. Here's hoping that your Thanksgiving has a few less participants, so that you don't have to rebuild your house (again) to fit them all in.

I always get about this far into NaBloPoMo, and wonder what the heck I was thinking: there's sleepovers and Thanksgiving and pies to make; there's birthdays to scrap for and Christmas presents to scout out; there's doctor's appointments and relapses and every single germ in creation headed straight for me. In other words, November is not exactly a stress free month - for any of us.

But then I remember that coercing myself to write everyday reminds me that I have a connection to people who don't just exist within 65 miles of my physical self. It reinforces the idea that there are other people like me, who are just trying to make it through their days, and we're all helping each other out. It forces me to think of something to talk about, allowing for the instances when all I have to talk about is how sucky something has been & promoting instances when glorious things occur. It gives me something to look back on with pride and accomplishment at having met a goal and overcome obstacles.

So here's to another day down, and 9 days to go.

It's November...

And we all know what that means: It's NaBloPoMo again!

It's time for an overflow in Google Readers, an influx of random postings, an avalanche of "what the hell do I write now"s!

I'm actually excited to be participating in my fourth annual NaBloPoMo, because I have a million half-posts which have been brewing in my brain (and in the draft folder) for too long, and for the sake of actually finishing them, having a deadline is probably a good thing. Which means you'll finally get my post on the new XMRV findings, a few posts about ableism that I've been trying to hammer out the details on, some of my thoughts on the blogosphere, more than a couple of posts with some pictures, and probably a ton of quotes, because that's the kind of mood I've been in lately.

And I'm going to do my best to comment (at least) once a day too, this month, giving myself a new goal to meet. I feel like I've been reading so many good posts, and then clicking away without saying anything. Mostly because it feels like all I have to say is "Me too" or "Totally THIS.", and those feel inadequate to me. But following a recent discussion with a fellow blogger, I realize that when I get those comments, they mean the world to me, so leaving them is worthwhile, even if it doesn't feel like it.

So there we go: Two goals, thirty days, and a blogger who feels like setting goals might be akin to tempting fate, but is going to do it anyways.

Deep breaths, everybody; deep breaths.

The End

Final Tally!

Title of book(s) read since last update: The Areas of My Expertise
Number of books read since you started: 8 whole and two halves (of different books)
Pages read since last update:74
Running total of pages read since you started: 2282 + 74 = 2356
Amount of time spent reading since last update: 87 minutes
Running total of time spent reading since you started: 1269 + 87 = 1356 = 22.6 hours/24!
Mini-challenges completed: 8
Other participants you’ve visited: Around 24
Prize you’ve won: 1 ! T

Alright Folks - Readathon's Final Hour

End Meme


1. Which hour was most daunting for you? Somewhere around 5 o'clock, and hour 19, when I completely lost the ability to do math.
2. Could you list a few high-interest books that you think could keep a Reader engaged for next year? My first two books of the Readathon, The Sugar Queen and The Perks of Being a Wallflower were definitely winners.
3. Do you have any suggestions for how to improve the Read-a-thon next year? Maybe I will when I have some time to think about it, but not right now.
4. What do you think worked really well in this year’s Read-a-thon? Using audiobooks for exhausted/overly busy time periods; having enough of a TBR pile that I could just skip ahead to the next thing if what I was reading wasn't working for me. The Amazing Cheerleaders!
5. How many books did you read? 8 complete books (and 2 halves of other books)
6. What were the names of the books you read? The Sugar Queen, The Perks of Being A Wallflower, My Father's Dragon, Tempt Me At Twilight, Crouching Vampire Hidden Fangs, Positively Pooh, Visions in White, Bound By Your Touch and half each of The Introvert's Advantage and The Areas of My Expertise.
7. Which book did you enjoy most? The Sugar Queen, I think: it was the most enchanting, and unique.
8. Which did you enjoy least? The Introvert's Advantage: By the time I got to it, I wasn't in the mood, and there was a lot of specific science that I would like to read about, just wasn't happening for me today.
9. If you were a Cheerleader, do you have any advice for next year’s Cheerleaders?
10. How likely are you to participate in the Read-a-thon again? What role would you be likely to take next time? I know I'd love to participate again, I just am not sure whether I'd do it all exactly the same.

That said, I had a fabulous, fabulous time and I can't thank the cheerleaders/challenge leaders/organizers enough!

Hour # I hate maths (also = 19)

We're getting into the wee small hours, here, and I'm not exactly feeling the number-love, so this post is just going to say that I finished another 100 pages of Tempt me at Twilight and am 67 pages into Vision in White by Nora Roberts, which is my first re-read of the whole Readathon. I've been reading non-stop since my last update, an hour and a half ago, so that's 180 minutes. And now I'm going to listen to the end of my audiobook, or head back into La Nora, (something nice and easy) with a short break to go grab another water and to close my window because it's getting cold.

Before she went to bed, Mum says to me "If you happen to feel your eyes closing... don't fight it," which is kind of one of those very sad jokes that only we get, because I've had insomnia now for at least 7 years: You can wager any amount of money that, challenge or no, if my eyes started to close? I would let them. She did have a good point though, that if somebody tells you you can't do something, it makes you want to do it even more, because people are perverse that way. So maybe, in the next couple of hours, I'll figure out that the way to solve my insomnia is to tell people I HAVE to stay awake. You could also lay a wager down that, if that works, I will pay someone to tell me that. Every night, for as long as it takes.

Readathon - Hour 17 - Getting closer now!

Title of book(s) read since last update: Bound by Your Touch, Tempt me at Twilight
Number of books read since you started: 7 (and two halves of other books)
Pages read since last update: 365
Running total of pages read since you started: 1475+365 = 1840
Amount of time spent reading since last update: 105 minutes
Running total of time spent reading since you started: 804+105 = 909 minutes
Mini-challenges completed: I've got 6 previous ones, and I'm including the Children's Lit mini-challenge & I gave my dancing routine mini-challenge over at Fyrefly books, so that brings me up to 8.
Other participants you’ve visited: I've been lax this past chunk of time, but I'm planning on getting around a little bit now, between books.
Prize you’ve won:0

Infantbibliophile asked for 5 of our favorite children's books, and that is a challenge that could not be more up my alley:

Here are 5 that we've read this past week:
1Fancy Nancy by Jane O'Connor and Robin Preiss Glasser
2Baby Sees by Eloise Wilkins
3Big Dog, Little Dog by PD Eastman
4I'll Teach My Dog 100 Words by Michael Firth
and
5What do Doozers Do? by Michaela Muntean

Heading into Hour #15, here's where I am

Title of book(s) read since last update: I read about 60 pages of The Introvert Advantage, which was great, but just not holding my interested, and then spent the rest of an hour listening to some Tempt me at Midnight, and now I'm 144 pages into Bound by Your Touch by Meredith Duran
Number of books read since you started: 6 books, 1/2 of two others
Pages read since last update: 284
Running total of pages read since you started: 1189+284 = 1475
Amount of time spent reading since last update: All but 16 minutes or so, when I was talking, since 8:00, so that's about 104 minutes
Running total of time spent reading since you started: 700+104 = 804
Mini-challenges completed: 5 previous, and then I did the re-reading the classics mini-challenge, so that makes 6
Other participants you’ve visited: Nobody new this time, I've been caught up
Prize you’ve won:

Halfway through and A survey too!

Mid-Event Survey:


1. What are you reading right now?Tempt me Twilight audio, and I think I'll be picking up Dairy Queen next.

2. How many books have you read so far? 6.5

3. What book are you most looking forward to for the second half of the Read-a-thon? Three Cups of Tea, which I've been saving forever.

4. Did you have to make any special arrangements to free up your whole day?
Not really: I was hoping to have Youngest Nephew over for a sleepover tonight, but it wasn't me that held that up, so aside from my parents, I've been all clear.

5. Have you had many interruptions? How did you deal with those? I've had very few interruptions, honestly. Mum or Dad wandering in, but that's about it.

6. What surprises you most about the Read-a-thon, so far? That time goes by so quickly, so I don't get to fit in as many of the add-ons as I might like. I think I'm going to cut back a little on the extracurricular chasing in this second half, unless I feel like listening rather than actively reading.

7. Do you have any suggestions for how to improve the Read-a-thon next year? I'm having such a fabulous time, I can't imagine what would make it better, at this point.

8. What would you do differently, as a Reader or a Cheerleader, if you were to do this again next year? Definitely vary the books a little bit better, have more choices immediately on hand (if I ever unpack the bookcases, this will not be an issue, but as it is, I can't get to all those boxes right this minute.) And maybe asking for sponsors to help with the donations (I'm still thinking about that).

9. Are you getting tired yet? I'm always tired, so this is just an ordinary day for me, only more people are playing along.

10. Do you have any tips for other Readers or Cheerleaders, something you think is working well for you that others may not have discovered? So far, the only trick I've got is the listening to audiobooks while I do the detail type things - the food getting, book retrieving, stretching of sore parts - so that I'm not losing any of the reading time. But I do that normally, too, so I can't say it's an adaptation I have just for the challenge.

Best of luck, everybody: We're halfway there!
(And, having made it to 6 books, I'm up to $50, so I feel pretty damn good about that!)

Readathon Hour #11 Update

Title of book(s) read since last update: My Father's Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett; Another couple chapters of Tempt me at Twilight
Number of books read since you started:
Pages read since last update: 140
Running total of pages read since you started: 1049+140 = 1189
Amount of time spent reading since last update: Since 5:55, I've been reading non-stop so that's 75 minutes
Running total of time spent reading since you started: 625+75 = 700 minutes (I love even numbers like that!)
Mini-challenges completed: Three previous challenges, plus the two I completed this hour = 5
Other participants you’ve visited: Skrishna (who has a fantabulous reading rate); All of the Readers of the hour
Prize you’ve won: 0

Things I would do differently next time: I would be better prepared - already, even though we're one hour short of the halfway mark, I find that I don't have the right mix of books - my non-fiction has been disappointing, the children's books too short - So I'm thinking next time have a better mix of re-reads and new-to-me reads, and probably add a few more YA books (which I love, but just didn't have any on hand) or branch out to graphic novels.

Readathon Mini-Challenges

Linus' Blanket has a mini-challenge called Feed Me Seymour, where you're supposed to post a scene where somebody is eating in from your books.

Here's Pooh Bear, being, well, Pooh Bear from Positively Pooh, Timeless Wisdom From Pooh:

Pooh always liked a little something at eleven o'clock in the morning, and he was very glad to see Rabbit getting out the plates and mugs; and when Rabbit said, "Honey or condensed milk with your bread?" he was excited that he said, "Both," and then, so as not to seem greedy, he added, "But don't bother about the bread, please."

And Joystory is hosting a Reading is Fundamental mini-challenge where we post a picture with kids and books... If you've been here before, you know I've got plenty to choose from... Let's see what I can dig up quickly (so I can get back to the printed books and give Kleypas a rest for a bit):





It's Youngest Nephew and Lil Girl at the local library - 2 years ago! - when we were first introduced to the joy of Llama, Llama, Red Pajama:)

See you back here soon!

Readathon Update - Hours 8-10

Title of book(s) read since last update:Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang by Katie Macalister & a few more chapters of Tempt me at Twilight
Number of books read since you started: 4.5
Pages read since last update: 399
Running total of pages read since you started: (650+399=) 1049
Amount of time spent reading since last update: I can't believe my last update post was at 1:30! I've read non-stop since then, taking only about 15-20 minutes out here and there to talk with the people who are actually real in my life. So that's about 220 minutes
Running total of time spent reading since you started: 405 + 220 = 625 (10.42 hours!)
Mini-challenges completed:I just completed theRe-read Challenge, so that brings me up to 3 mini-challenges.
Other participants you’ve visited: I visited all the readers of the hour for hour 8 (Thanks again, everybody: I am not used to so much traffic all at once!)
Prize you’ve won: Still nunca, but that's ok... I'm having a ball!

Readathon - Hour 8

(I'm left wondering what it says about me that every time I try to type "Readathon" I want to type "Readathong"?)


While I was busy updating this post, there was a sudden influx of comments: It turns out I am a Reader of the Hour! Welcome everybody ~ I'm so excited & am having a great time... I really appreciate the feedback & support!

Since I've got your attention, I'm just going to mention again that I am reading for The Whittemore Peterson Institute, for their astonishing and groundbreaking work with CFIDS research; Donors Choose, which allows teachers to post classroom needs and donors to pick which they can help with; and, since this is about books, what better way than to support a new generation of writers by supporting 826 National, which SisterK introduced me to this summer and which has an awesome program that promotes creative writing in schools. For every three books I read, I'm going to donate $25 (I haven't decided how to split it up yet), so I'm already up to $25 for three worthy causes.

Best of luck to everybody, and I'll try to do some visiting while Poppy continues to chase her sister's ferret (in the audiobook listed below)!

Title of book(s) read since last update: I'm listening to the audio of Tempt Me Tonight, by Lisa Kleypas
Number of books read since you started: Still 3 (audio books take so much longer, but it gives me a chance to see what everybody else is up to)
Pages read since last update: I have no idea how you measure that for audiobooks, so I am estimating (by counting the # of pages in a chapter from the last Kleypas I have in print and using that) that I am about 65 pages in.
Running total of pages read since you started: (585 + 65)650
Amount of time spent reading since last update: 75 minutes
Running total of time spent reading since you started: 330 +75 = 405 minutes
Mini-challenges completed: The Map, and now a title game
Other participants you’ve visited:Eclectic Eccentric (whose mini challenge was cool, but I had no shot at completing); Biblophile By The Sea (who is supporting a very worthy cause!); Alita Reads(who's a great cheerleader);A Striped Armchir (who happens to have one of the same books I have in my TBR) and Just One More Thing (who have a great title sentence sequence!
Prize you’ve won:

Readathon Update - Hours #5 & 6

"But first, I want to thank you for being one of those people who listens and understands ... And even though I didn't know you, I felt like I did because you sounded like such a good person. The kind of person who wouldn't mind receiving letters ... The kind of person who would understand how they were better than a diary because there is communion and a diary can be found."

The Perks of Being a Wallflower Stephen Chbosky


Title of book(s) read since last update:The Perks of Being A Wallflower; Postiviely Pooh
Number of books read since you started:3
Pages read since last update: 289
Running total of pages read since you started: (294 + 289) = 585
Amount of time spent reading since last update: I updated around eleven, I spent 20 minutes since then doing other things (I drank three cups of tea and a
bottle of water; I think you can do the math on that yourselves), so that gives me another 160 minutes... and I'm going to correct my math from this morning (when my brain was still trying to understand the numbers and say that 10 minutes from 3 hours is not 80 minutes, but in fact 170 minutes (IDK why I was thinking in terms of half hours, and so I made it every 3x30 and subtracted 10: Don't ask me)... so that means:
Running total of time spent reading since you started: (keep track of this one to be eligible for a prize!) I've got 330 minutes total, 5.5 hours! Yay
Mini-challenges completed: Still only the map one, but I'm going to do a bit of that now, and start fresh at 2:00
Other participants you’ve visited: Also am on my way to do this
Prize you’ve won: 0.. except for reading two extraordinary books and one pretty positive one!

Readathon - Hour 4

I'm about halfway through The Perks of Being A Wallflower, and it is NOT disappointing. I'll be back to have some lunch and do some mini-challenges, when I'm finished!

Hour 3, Readathon

"Books can be possessive, can't they? You're walking around in a bookstore and a certain one will jump out at you, like it had moved there on its own, just to get your attention. Sometimes what's inside will change your life, but sometimes you don't even have to read it. Sometimes it's a comfort just to have a book around. Man of these books haven't even had their spines cracked. 'why do you buy books you don't even read?' our daughter asks us. That's like asking someone who lives alone why they bought a cat. For company, of course." - The Sugar Queen, Sarah Addison Allen, p180

<3 Loved it! This was an awesome book - really: awesome. I am definitely adding Sarah Addison Allen to my autobuy list.

So, an hour and a half in, let's see what's what:

Title of book(s) read since last update: The Sugar Queen
Number of books read since you started: 1
Pages read since last update: 294
Running total of pages read since you started:
Amount of time spent reading since last update: 80 minutes - 5 minutes for an update and 5 minutes for talking to the lazy people who are just getting up, and that's it.
Running total of time spent reading since you started: (keep track of this one to be eligible for a prize!) 80 minutes
Mini-challenges completed: I pinpointed myself (ish) on the map over at heylady
Other participants you’ve visited:
Prize you’ve won: 0

Up next is one that's been on my list for quite a while, because I kept seeing quotes from it all over the place and going "Yes: that is truth", and now I'm going to see if it's as good as the parts I've seen. It's The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.

See you in an hour, all!