Friday, November 16, 2012

Yes, totally amazing: now give me my meds and shut the hell up.

What did I say I was going to talk about tonight? 

How about strep throat?  Was that it?  No: I didn't think so, and yet, there it is. 

I spent the whole week hoping that my throat was just raw because the music was So. Loud. at the wedding on Sunday (I am the old person you all hate - Why does the music have to be that LOUD???) so to talk to anybody, you were basically yelling.  All night long.  I just figured I'd strained my voice a little.

And that probably was some of it, but then when I went in for my shots on Wednesday and some man in the doctor's office coughed directly on me.  Like, right on my face.  And didn't even give me the courtesy of an "oops," let alone an "I'm sorry, I just gave you the plague, would you like a Kleenex?"

So when my throat was about a million times worse this morning, I gave in and called my primary care, who was, you guessed it! Out of the office for the day, but her on-call covering doc could see me at three, would that be okay?  Sure.  Whatever.  Fine.

They called three times between 10:00 this morning and noon to rearrange the appointment times, and I was ready to be like "Never mind: miraculously healed! Just stop calling and making me TALK - did I mention my throat hurts?!", but then they did stop calling, so I decided to suck it up and go.

Now, the only new symptom has been my throat - nothing else, no coughing or wheezing or sneezing or anything, so I just assumed the covering doc would look at the red rawness, stick one of those sticks down my throat, and write me a prescription for the strep throat antibiotic I obviously need.

Isn't it hilarious how I'm still optimistic (and stupid) after all these years of dealing with doctors?

No it was: Let's talk about why you're in the wheelchair (because it might somehow be relevant?), and What do you mean it hurts when I press on your neck and lymph nodes (they hurt all by themselves, lady: don't touch!) and Are you sure you had bronchitis a few weeks ago? (Well, maybe I had a brontosaurus a few weeks ago, but I'm pretty sure it was bronchitis.)  Literally, let's just retake your whole history, for a strep test.  And then?  Still not give you any antibiotics.

No, after hearing that I'd had bronchitis a couple of weeks ago, and three or four sinus infections this year, the on-call doc decided that I might just have another sinus infection, and gave me Flonase.  Which... doesn't treat sinus infections.  (Or, at the very least, doesn't treat MY sinus infections.)  Told me to gargle with salt water (which I've been doing, and I hate, and blech).  Or it could be allergies, although allergy season is mostly over....and I'm on no less than three allergy meds. Whatever.  Definitely helpful, thanks!

 And then she preceded to talk for fifteen minutes about how interesting POTS is and how she's never seen anybody with that, and isn't it amazing how many ways the body has to adapt to things?

Um... no? 

My body is MALadaptive, lady.  It is adapting poorly, not "amazingly."  And I don't care if you see patients like me every single day, or once every 3000 years, could you just stop chattering on and on and actually treat what I'm here for, so I can go home and be sick in my own damn bed?

It was frustrating, to say the least, and the thing that makes it worse is that if I had called yesterday, instead of waiting to see if it'd go away (like a dope), I could've called Zack's office, and the nurse there would've just sent my antibiotic rx right through... I kind of having a standing order.  But they're out of the office today, so I figured the primary care was my next best shot.

Turns out my next best shot would've been attending medical school myself, so I could write out the damn prescription and stick my own little swab down my throat.  Next time. 



Crazed Nitwit said...

Are you calling Zach on Monday? What is POTS? Besides the obvious pots of pots and pans I mean....LOL.

Never That Easy said...

Yes, I'm calling Zach. And POTS = Postural Orthostatic Hypotensive (Or Tachycardia, depending on who you ask) Syndrome. Basically: Stand up, fall down, in my case :) Miss you. Good luck at your new job!