Monday, November 27, 2006


I'm a bit - off, today. I should be happy because

- I got some things accomplished today (Two more Christmas presents, done! 6 scrapbook pages finished yesterday/6 to go! Yay, yay, yay!)

- It was a quiet house day, and I know they're going to be more scarce, now that the holidays are starting to amp up.

- There's good TV shows on tonight ( Studio 60! Heroes!), and they're new episodes.

But I'm not happy. I'm moody, almost pissy. I hate this mood, because there's no real reason for it, and yet, here it is.

The minor things I'm upset about include

- doing favors for people who don't appreciate it
- spelling something wrong and wasting a bunch of time & effort

- But really, those are just excuses. My mood is all about sick family members; These are minor illnesses, colds, coughs, stomach problems, & that's part of the problem: why can't you just GO to the doctor already? When there is something relatively minor wrong with the people I love, things that I know they can do something about, it really pisses me off. It's like they're not taking advantage of their good health (and extreme good fortune in having that good health), and .... I find myself lacking any sort of patience for or kindness towards them.

So UGH. If the doctor recommends you see an ENT b/c you keep having sinus infections (which run in our family, btw), then DO IT! If you're still coughing after a month of being sick, call the doctor back, doofus!

So, here I am: patience limited and nervy. And I hate feeling like this. I'd like to yell at them. I'd like to just shout at them, but it would not be well received, I assure you.

And this itchy, 'leave-me-alone-because-you-are-too-lazy-to-help-yourself-" attitude is in danger of boiling over into things that I should be more sympathetic of:

Sister J is suffering from depression - not a minor illness by any means. She's been doing a bit better lately, but her meds aren't exactly helping as much as they should be. And she hasn't gone to the therapist like her doctor wants her to. Because ... she doesn't have the time to find one that she would like. Um... yes you do. Get the meds changed, get a good doctor, and you'll see just how much more time you have.

See? I just have reached a limit, I guess. I'm full to the brim of people who CAN help themselves, but don't. And their complaining & whining. (Which is exactly what I am doing here, but let's pretend it isn't.)

And all that - even just thinking all of that, makes me a royal bitch, I suppose.

So, I'll say it all here, in the hopes that getting it out of my head will help it get better. Cause I don't especially like being a bitch.

1 comment:

Maya's Granny said...

I think that the position of actually having a problem that doesn't seem to ever get solved no matter how hard you try would make me less than patient of people who don't try to solve their problems. And that would hold for health, financial, relationship -- whatever.